Day 25: More Rest for the Weary

Today, like yesterday, I slept a lot. It is a hard thing for me to allow myself to do. I have always gone by the philosophy that mom's really don't get sick days but this is a whole different level of being sick. I keep having to tell myself that by not giving myself the rest that my body so desperately needs I could potentially be adding more treatments to this process and there is no way I want to do that. I want to be done with all of this just as quickly as I possibly can.

I am praying diligently that I will only need 8 treatments instead of the 12 but am still prepared to go 12 just in case. It is hard to explain but I feel that if I set my heart on only receiving 8 treatments and then the doctor says, nope, you have to have 12, that will be hugely deflating to me. Some of my friends from church tonight said it best, "Prepare for the worst, pray for best." That is what I am doing. I am prepared to go the distance but praying that I won't have to. I will not limit God in all that He can do and how He can heal me whenever He wants to, however, I know that it all has to be done in His timing and not my own.

I really did not feel like going to church tonight but knew I needed to. I crave that closeness with the Lord now more than ever and one of the ways the enemy keeps me from being close to the Lord is to try to keep me from church. He whispers in my ear that it is okay to miss this one time, you are tired, you are weary, God will understand. But I have to stand firm and I have to go. So, tonight I went and I was so glad that I did. Calvin did a phenomenal job. God used him to meet me right where I am at and this was probably my favorite message Calvin has ever given. So, if you didn't go tonight, make sure you go in the morning! It inspired me to write like 4 or 5 other blog posts that I can hopefully work on over the next couple of days, so be ready!

Anyway, I am going to continue to rest some more. I am praying that tomorrow is the day that I finally make the corner and recover from this round of chemo. Thanks for all your prayers and support! We could not be making this journey without you all behind us.

Blessings,
Andrea