[five] years of creide + a letter to my [boy]

Two and a half weeks ago, on September 11th, our little Creide turned the [big 5].
Can you believe it?
Where does the time go?

This little man is super special.
I love his little heart so much.
His care for others.
His constant encouragement.
His joy for life.
His ability to make you laugh - constantly.

I will share more about his actual birthday day soon.
But for now I wanted to share some photos.
[five] years of having this little man in our lives.
[five] years of this joy.
Looking at them makes my heart swell with love.
But also brings a tear to my eye.

I will so miss my little Creide.
My Creidey-Bear.
My baby boy.

But I have joy in the Creide I have today.
I will do my best to soak up each day like a ray of sunshine.
My mama moments.

  

  

 

Despite how this may look - he DOES have a diaper on. :-)

        

  

\

~My Dearest Creide~

You are loved more than you will ever know.
You fill my heart with such joy every day.
Your sweet smile and fun loving spirit bring such a brightness to this world.
A brightness that this world so desperately needs.

You were born on such a special day.
September 11th.
And on that day you brought hope.
Each day since then you have lived that out.

I would not be surprised one bit if this becomes the theme of your life.
Bringing hope to those who need it most.
I can't wait to watch from the sidelines.
I will be your biggest fan.
[Okay, maybe I will share with your daddy.]
And I will cheer you on every step of the way.

You constantly make me laugh.
The things you say.
The things you do.
They belong only to you for you are truly one of a kind.

I love how you still enjoy cuddling with your mama.
Please don't grow out of that too quickly.
I remember when I was sick from my chemo and I would be sleeping -
I would wake up to you in my arms.

You were "quiet like a ninja" and would sneak in to cuddle with me.
You will never know how much that fueled my soul to keep fighting on.

I know my time with you is such a precious gift.
And when you read this on your own someday.
I hope.
- No matter what -
That you can look back on these growing up years.
And feel only love.

Keep on keeping on my little Creide.
The world needs more of you.

With all my love,
Your Mama

My 9/11...

Like every American.
We remember 9/11.
However, we also remember it for a very different reason.
It is our third little man's birthday.

The funny thing is that we have actually had people give us condolences because our son was born on 9.11.07.
My response.
Don't be sad for us.
We aren't.
We rejoice on that day.

Please do not get me wrong.
We deeply respect and honor those who lost their lives in the terrible tragedy.
And those who gave their lives trying to save others.
Our hearts ache for their loved ones.

In this household you will always find respect and honor for those who serve and protect our country.
Period.

It does not matter if they are here on American soil or defending our country in a foreign land - they are thought of often and prayed for often in our home.
It does not matter if they are in a branch of the military or if they are in law enforcement protecting our cities and towns.
Our home will always show them the respect that they deserve.

But we still rejoice
The birth of our son on 09/11, we believe, is what so many of those brave men and women give their lives for.

Hope.

The hope of a future.
The hope that there is something better yet to come.

Our son represents this hope, and so much more, to us.

He is like the rainbow after the flood.
A sign.
A sign of new life.
Our future.
A sign of love.

So, each year for the past 5 (can you believe he is 5! - We'll discuss that more later) we have celebrated on 9/11 without hesitation.
Full hearted.
Rejoicing.

Thank you God for giving us this little man on such a special day to be a reminder to us of the HOPE you have given.

the blur of life: {Broken arms, birthdays, and sickness}

I can't believe how fast this last week has gone by.
And I tell you my emotions have been all over the board.
I went from the elation of getting good scan results.
To the pit in just over a 48 hour period.

It would not be appropriate for me to discuss the details of our struggles right now.
I know that is tough for some of you to take because you are so sweet to us and it is tough for me not to be open and share.
To bare my heart as you have all allowed me to do time and time again on here.
But I just can't.
Just please know that it is not cancer related - so don't panic there.
And yes, we will take your prayers.:-)

For wisdom.
Guidance.
Strength.
Clarity.
Healing.
Protection.
And anything else you want to throw in there.
You won't hear any complaints from me.

Anyway, our week was such a blur and I really don't like that because I feel like I can't soak up every minute of life.
And that is really all I want to do.
Life is precious.

First, God has really blessed me with some extra work right now.
For those of you who don't know - I am actually grinding it out as a freelance writer.
(Not a big surprise for some but probably a huge surprise for others.)
The typical response I get is, "You can actually make money writing?"

For those of you who have done freelance work or who work for themselves, you know how it goes.
You take the work when you can get it.
But I love it.
I get to do what I love.
And I get to stay home with my babies.
Which I love even more.
I am blessed.

I have had some frustration along the way of course.
Mainly because I had my client list going pretty well and then cancer decided to come along.
I worked for as long as I could.
Until I honestly had nothing left.
And then I had to say goodbye to most of my clients.
Some of them, miraculously, stood by patiently until I was able to return to work - which really only happened a couple of months ago.
Even then, I had to start out very small.
Only working a tiny bit each day or the fatigue was just too much.

For any of you who know me you can imagine how well that went over.
It didn't.
My whole life if I have wanted to do something I have just done it.
Cancer was different.
I couldn't will my way through it.
And the harder I tried, the worse it was for me.

Anyway, that was a rabbit hole and I definitely chased it.

I have been blessed with some new clients lately and it has just been a scheduling adjustment.
But I don't dare turn it down.

So, we were trying to go away for hunting camp so I had to work extra to get caught up enough to leave.
You know how that goes.

But here is a glimpse of all the other stuff that happened along the way.

Wednesday: 
Received the super cool news that I am still cancer free.
Creide fell off the trampoline even though we have a enclosure thing, which will be relevant here shortly.

Thursday:
I was supposed to decorate a wedding about an hour away. (For those of you who don't know, I used to decorate weddings before I was diagnosed.) Got to site to decorate and the manager of the location didn't let the construction people know about the wedding and so there was construction stuff everywhere. Glad I did not have either of those peoples jobs. Needless to say, I was unable to decorate.

Also discovered that the swelling from Creide's arm has not gone away and we begin to think he may have broke his arm. (The second broken arm for him in less than 3 years and he was only 4 at the time.) I take him to the ER. They do x-rays. Creide charms the ER staff and gets about 100 stickers because of it and they release us saying that it is good to go.

Friday: 
Get ready to go back to the wedding site that morning and receive a call that they were able to get it done the night before so I can scratch that off my to do list.

Get a call from the ER doctor saying we need to come back in for more X-rays. Upon closer examination of the first X-rays there appears to be swelling in the elbow.

Go back to the hospital and get more X-rays. They were all super cool by the way. Still could not tell if there was a break in the elbow but there was definitely fluid, so they decided to treat it as a break.

Continue to pack for trip.

Go to my oldest son's first volleyball game of the season. Oh, I forgot to mention that I co-coach his team as well.

Go home and continue to prepare for our trip.

Saturday:
Leave for trip.
Arrive safely.

Sunday:
I wake up sick with the head cold my kiddos had a couple of weeks ago.

Monday:
Even sicker

Tuesday:
Creide's birthday.

I manage to drag myself out of the camper to celebrate with him. Make a rockin' awesome batch of Peach French Toast for breakfast. Homemade mac n' cheese for lunch with pork chops, french fries, and mini-corndogs... all on a campfire. (Thanks to my hubby for all his help.) These were all Creide's favorites.

Wednesday:
Get up super early and leave to come home so Cale and I can make it back in time for volleyball practice.
Hubby has to work that night.
I have to take the two little boys their soccer practices.

Thursday:
Oldest boy has another vball game in a town about an hour away.

Oh yeah, I am still sick.
It is no wonder I am so tired.

That was like a marathon blog post.
Thanks for enduring if you made it this far. :-)

Blessings.



***Are you afraid you are going to miss a blog? If so, select "follow" on the right-hand-side or enter your email address to have updates emailed to you. (But don't forget to confirm your email subscription.) I would certainly appreciate knowing you are a fan!!!***

"Slap me silly & call me cowboy!"

This delightful little quote was from my youngest boy - obviously the joker of our family.

He is constantly coming up with the funniest things.

I have no idea where he got this one from. 

A movie most likely.

Or he took a movie quote and altered it to suit his little Creidey-bear needs. (That's what we call him - Creidey-bear. ;-) 

But the funny thing about my little Creide is that he has the best timing. 

That is what makes it so funny. 

The delivery. 

I am so thankful for this boy and his sweet heart. 

His quick wit does his mamma good. 

So, the next time you hear someone say, "Slap me silly & call me cowboy!" - think of my little Creide and I am sure he will bring an even bigger smile to your face. 

Here are some pics I found from one year ago this month where he was a "cowboy". 

It is actually a ladies hat that he found in some high end tourist shop in Ouray. 

But I couldn't resist snapping a couple of shots before I made him put it back JUST where he found it completely unharmed. :-) 

Photo of the Day: {Little Boy Blue}

[creide.jaxton.7.4.12]

Completely random.

Unpredictable.

Impromptu.

A flicker.

A moment in time.

To be {cherished} forever.

I {treasure} these gifts.

The gift of a look.

Or a [sweet] smile.

For I know they are here only briefly.

A whisper. 

One day they will be grown.

They will be living the life they have been {called} to live.

And I will be thankful for the memories forever etched on my heart. 

{amg}

Photo of the Day: {Frog Boots}

[creide's frog boots 2012]

These babies are kind of a staple around our house. This is actually Creide's 3rd pair. He loves them. First, his favorite color is green, so that made them an instant hit. Second, I think he likes how easy they are for him to put on and go. And that is what this kid does...go.go.go.

He would {and has} worn them everywhere. I think even to church. I know some of you are probably disgusted right now. How dare I let my child wear something so inappropriate in the house of the Lord? That is one way to look at it. Another way to look at it is that we are supposed to give our best to the Lord. In Creide's mind - these are his best. This is the best pair of shoes he has to offer. But that is just another perspective.

My perspective. Life is too short. I am going to pick my battles and this is just not one of them. I am just happy that the kid has made it out of the house with shoes on. (Yes, we have actually left the house without shoes before - but that is a whole other blog.)

I found this pair at the thrift store with the Target tags still on them. Not bad for $3. :-)

Photo of the Day: {kissing fish}

{kissing fish}

I am not really sure how this all transpired and I am pretty sure I do not want to know. Just in case you are wondering, Creide didn't actually kiss the fish - at least I don't think he did.

Photo of the Day: {daddy & his boy}

[jason.and.creide*july.4.2012]

Photo of the Day: {Ninja Moves}

All I have to say is I wish my ninja moves were this good. :-) This little man makes us laugh every day. What a gift he is.

Happy Monday.

Funny of the Day: {Don't Say Bad Words}

This is another story involving my ever-so-funny Creidey-bear (as we call him).

Today he comes to me crying....

Creide: Mom, Ky called me something bad.
Me: (Long sigh in preparation for what was said) What did he call you?
Creide: Bottom Britches
Me: Bottom Britches???
Creide: Yes, and I didn't like it.
Me: Is "Bottom Britches" bad?
Creide: Yes!
Me: What does "Bottom Britches" mean?
Creide: It means that I don't like you and your a meaner (The word "meaner" has be classified as a bad word in our house by Creide as well).
Me: Okay.

Moral of the story.... Don't call someone "Bottom Britches".

Friday's Funny of the Day

This morning Creide reported that he had a bad dream last night. When J asked him what his dream was about he said...

Daddy, it was about werewolves, lions, and kangaroos. And those kangaroos were wild!!!


I hope you all have a very blessed Friday and a great weekend!

{Funny of the Day}

This is another {Funny of the Day} brought to you by my little Creide. At 4 he is constantly cracking us up. So here it is...

Creide: My brain is having hiccups.

Me: ??????

Seriously, what do you say to that? And the deeper question - has this been my problem all along and it finally took a 4 year old to identify it? Very interesting. 

My Boy is Sick Today

Last night our youngest son started getting sick.... and kept getting sick all through the night. He was still sick this morning but seems to feeling a little better now. This morning he said it is the "worst day ever" and I did not blame him one bit.

It is miserable watching your child struggle. I wish I could take it away from him and be sick myself instead. But I couldn't of course. All you can do is hold them, love them, and do your very best to make them feel better.

Praying my boy makes a full and speedy recovery.... 

{brotherly love}

For those of you who have boys you will understand what I am talking about. There is just this "brotherly love" that you cannot begin to explain. Recently we were at the park and I had an opportunity to document what I am talking about. I took this chance to show those of you who don't know what true brotherly love is all about. Here you go.... 

Favorite September Moments.....{Part 2}

We had a birthday in the house this month which by far one of the most special moments. Our third son - Creide Jaxton turned the BIG 4 on September 11th. I can't believe it. As a mom I think you always revisit the day of their birth - seeing them for the first time, holding them in your arms for the first time and then you think of how fast it has gone by. 

This year we were on our week long camping vacation on Creide's birthday. But does that stop us Gressman's from celebrating? Heck no! We hauled all of his presents up there and I even made him a peach cobbler in my dutch oven with the campfire. This definitely gave me an appreciation for what the pioneer women went through! (I love my oven.)

Creide's birthday fell on the second day of the hunting season. Jason went out early that morning with his dad and brother but came back to camp early to see if Creide wanted to go out again with him. (Totally earning dad-of-the-year points).  It wasn't five minutes later that Jason spotted his buck and Creide got to be there with him. (Earning him even more dad-of-the-year points.) 

When I asked Creide later what the best part of his day was... it wasn't any of the presents, it wasn't the awesome campfire peach cobbler his mom made for him - it was hunting with his daddy. :-) How cute is that!

I feel so blessed to have been here for another one of my children's birthdays. I have always loved their birthdays so much but now - well, it is just different. I want to ring out every minute of each day with them. Thank you God. 

Trip to Ouray... {Creide}

We took advantage of Jason's day off this week by taking a quick trip to Ouray. This time we didn't swim - instead just checked out a couple of the shops and treated the boys to ice cream. It was a great time - perfect wheather and very relaxing. I was able to get these pictures of Creide - our third son. He is definitely "all boy" and when I found the boy banner hanging on the side of a building I couldn't help but to get a picture of it as I thought of him. Whether he is playing guns with his brothers, hanging upside down, trying on silly hats, or giving me that Creidey-bear smile - he just makes me happy. He is so darn funny too! I am always in stitches when he is around and he is only 3!

Okay, so I haven't shared a "funny of the day" recently so here is one for you.... Creide is a bean poll just like his oldest brother. But don't let the fool you - he can put away a half a pizza without batting and eye. He held the pancake eatting record at 9 pancakes before Cale was so embarrassed that his baby brother could eat more than he could that one day he ate 11 (giving himself 1 extra for a cushion just in case). Just to clarify- we don't sit around encouraging our boys to have eating contest. I am assuming that this must be a boy thing because I am certain my friends and I never sat around having eating contests.

Anyway, Creide - just like Cale use to - can rarely make it through the night without having to get something to eat. And we aren't talking the "I just don't want to go back to bed" kind of hungry - we are talking full blown "Mom, I am going to starve to death" kind of hungry. So, a couple of nights ago he wakes me up STARVING. So, I am getting him whatever he said he wanted and he says, "Mom, you have to hurry really bad." I asked him why. "He says because if you don't hurry I am going to starve to death and God does't want me to die!" Like I said, he always keeps us in stitches.
I love this boy.

Swimming in Ouray.....{Part 1}

A couple of weeks ago Jason took some of the GCC Youth Group kids to Ouray for a fun swim day after a long week of serving at several different locations throughout our community. The kids and I were able to tag along. We enjoyed our time at the Ouray Hot Springs and just feel so blessed that we live in an area that offers so many things to do in such a short distance.

These are just a few pictures I was able to snap of Jason, Creide, and Kearyn playing in the water. Boy, do they love playing in the water - especially Jason, he is like a big fish and you can barely get him out of the water without throwing a fit.  (For those of you who don't know - Jason is the one with the facial hair ;-) I better stop now - he does read the blog. Love you Jason!)

Kearyn says: Check out my new swimming suit! Thank you Miss Jeanette!

Things That Make Me Happy..... Part 2

Next up....My #3 son. I have affectionately started calling him G3. (Okay, I thought it was funny.) There are so many things I love about this little man...his smile being one of them. He also calls me his {best friend}... isn't that the sweetest thing ever.


If that smile doesn't make you happy, I don't know what will! 

Creide's Prayer...

I could not help but to share Creide's prayer last night at the dinner table. I really wish I had a tape recorder....

At dinner time the boys love to do what they call "circle prayers". We all hold hands in a circle and we take turns saying a prayer. This works really well as it prevents them from fighting over who gets to pray. Yes, this does happen in our household.

Anyway, Creide started his little prayer....

"Dear God, thank you for this day... thank you for all our food... thank you for this day... I pray for my mommy's sickness to go away... and I pray that you don't let my brother's go to college....don't let Cale go to college... don't let Ky go to college.... because I don't want them to leave .... thank you God.. Amen."

It always amazes me at what they think about.

Funny of The Day

So, it has been a while since I have posted a funny of the day. It isn't like they haven't been happening.... are you kidding we are the Gressman's.... something is always happening around our house. Usually Creide is the  one generating all of the funnies lately. Cale being 11...excuse me...almost 12....is far too cool to do anything that anyone could possible laugh at him for. It is like living with a professor....Beuller...Beuller... Okay, so I couldn't resist.

(Sorry for the poor picture quality but this was the only one I could find that had the entire scene but wasn't ridiculously long either.)

I know, I know, it is so mean of me to tease my 11 year old...I mean almost 12 year old like that but if I can't get a little enjoyment out of these "pre-teen" years then what's the point?

Anyway, Ky is like his dad....only wants to talk about "Vivor Man" - aka "Survivor Man" or "Man vs. Wild" and then he makes these things out of objects he finds around the house, around the yard, really anywhere. I am constantly finding these little spears all over - basically a stick with something taped to the end of it - like a fork, or some other sharp object that he shouldn't be playing with. Yesterday he was carting around this homemade bow and arrow. I didn't think anything of it until Jason said, "Uh, that works." What do you mean it works? How does my 5 year old know how to make a bow and arrow that works!....... Jason!!!!

I do always just want to ask Ky if he really gets lost in the wilderness if he would actually have tape with him but then he would just give me one of those looks with those big blue eyes. You know the one that says, "Silly Mom, whatever are you talking about....of course I would have duct tape...who doesn't have duct tape," and then you, as the adult, feel totally ridiculous for even brining it up. Maybe that only happens in my household.

This is pretty much the look I would get. 

Followed by this look....

....as he casually takes a drink to rub in my silliness for asking such questions.

Anyway, back to the funny of the day....

Creide was telling me that he felt his cat needed a change. The conversation went something like this....

Creide: "Mom, I think my cat needs a change."

Mom: "Oh really, what kind of change would that be?"

Creide: "Well, I think she needs to be more boy-like."

Mom: "But she is a girl."

Creide: "Yeah, but I want her to be a boy."

Mom (realizing the boy vs. girl argument was pointless with a 3 year old at this point): "So, how are you going to make Piper (the cat) more 'boy-like'?"

Creide: "I am going to paint her green. Green is a boy color." 

Mom: "But cats don't like to be painted green."

Creide: "She does."

Don't worry - we stopped him before he could actually paint the cat green. ***No animals were hurt in the making of this blog.***