Tuesday, Kearyn was still really sick. I only got a couple of hours of sleep but the good news is that she finally cut one of her top teethe so hopefully things will get better.
My heart is doing better today on being more prepared for chemo. It feels like I still have a lot to do today to be prepared in every other way - laying out stuff for the kids to make things easier on Jason, etc. It is not that Jason isn't extremely capable, I just do better knowing that I have done what I can to at least contribute when I am down and out.
Reading scripture today I found this one and wanted to share:
But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, ~1 Peter 3:15
I really feel like this is what God has calling me to do during this whole process. I truly want people to see the joy in my heart that Jesus has put there and when they ask me about it my answer will be: Jesus.
Follow Me...
Showing posts with label Preparation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Preparation. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Day 21:The Race
It is hard to believe that it has been three weeks since this all started and two weeks since my first chemo treatment. Tomorrow it is time to do it all again.
For some reason when I think of this I always picture Diego on Ice Age saying excitedly, "Who's up for round 2?!?" (If you don't know what I am talking about you probably don't have kids or your kids are grown. Just for kicks, rent the movie. It is a good one.) Although, I am not quite as excited as Diego, I am excited to be one step closer to the end. That is the way I look at it anyway.
A lifetime ago I was a middle distance runner. I ran the 800 meter and the mile and every race was broke down into 200 meter chunks. There are 8 - 200 meters sections in a mile and I feel like I have completed the first one, which is always the easy one. You have adrenaline on your side, you are fresh and ready to go. The only thing you have to worry about is not going out to fast because you will have nothing left at the end. If you are a runner, you know what I am saying. The 2nd 200 you try to settle in on your pace. I know it probably seems silly to most but anytime anything tough comes my way, this training always comes back to me.I can hear my coaches voice in my head, his exact words. Again, I am amazed that God provided me with these tools so long ago to apply to the toughest and longest "race" I will face in my life.
Anyway, I don't what brought that up but I feel I am ready, as ready as I can ever be anyway. It was a little difficult tonight. I made dinner and we all ate as a family at the table. This is something we cherish but will most likely not happen for the next few days. I caught Jason looking at me with his concerned eyes and he told me loved me. I said, "You are preparing to lose your wife again for a little while aren't you?" He said nothing. I reassured him that I would be back soon.
So, I will be seeking the Lord tonight steadily. Asking Him to provide me with the provisions I need to get through this for the 2nd time, armed with the wisdom I gained from last time. I am praying that the adjustments they are making in my medication will keep the nausea at bay. I am praying that the bad days are over soon - even if it is just like last time, that is okay. But despite it all, I know I will be okay no matter what. God is on my side.
Funny's of the Day:
Evidently Creide provides us the majority of our entertainment around here because here are two more from this 3 year old firecracker.
1.) Taking his finger and sticking it up his nose he asks me as serious as can be, "Mommy, why don't we do this?"
2.) We had to go to the store and get some medication for me and he started in on how he didn't want to go and how he was going to stay home by himself and on and on and on.... It was then that like any good mother does I used reverse psychology. (Just kidding, any good parent would tell you that this is not the proper parenting technique to use.) Anyway, I told him that was fine he could stay here and that daddy and I would simply enjoy our ice cream without him. He quickly changed his mind about the whole staying home alone thing. Jason being the dad he is said, "Oh no, it is too late, you have to stay here." Creide started laughing at him cause Jason is just SO believable. Jason says, "Look at my face, I am serious." Without skipping a beat Creide says to his daddy, "Look at MY face, I'm serious." It was hilarious to hear that come out of his 3 year old. God help us! What will 4 look like?
For some reason when I think of this I always picture Diego on Ice Age saying excitedly, "Who's up for round 2?!?" (If you don't know what I am talking about you probably don't have kids or your kids are grown. Just for kicks, rent the movie. It is a good one.) Although, I am not quite as excited as Diego, I am excited to be one step closer to the end. That is the way I look at it anyway.
A lifetime ago I was a middle distance runner. I ran the 800 meter and the mile and every race was broke down into 200 meter chunks. There are 8 - 200 meters sections in a mile and I feel like I have completed the first one, which is always the easy one. You have adrenaline on your side, you are fresh and ready to go. The only thing you have to worry about is not going out to fast because you will have nothing left at the end. If you are a runner, you know what I am saying. The 2nd 200 you try to settle in on your pace. I know it probably seems silly to most but anytime anything tough comes my way, this training always comes back to me.I can hear my coaches voice in my head, his exact words. Again, I am amazed that God provided me with these tools so long ago to apply to the toughest and longest "race" I will face in my life.
Anyway, I don't what brought that up but I feel I am ready, as ready as I can ever be anyway. It was a little difficult tonight. I made dinner and we all ate as a family at the table. This is something we cherish but will most likely not happen for the next few days. I caught Jason looking at me with his concerned eyes and he told me loved me. I said, "You are preparing to lose your wife again for a little while aren't you?" He said nothing. I reassured him that I would be back soon.
So, I will be seeking the Lord tonight steadily. Asking Him to provide me with the provisions I need to get through this for the 2nd time, armed with the wisdom I gained from last time. I am praying that the adjustments they are making in my medication will keep the nausea at bay. I am praying that the bad days are over soon - even if it is just like last time, that is okay. But despite it all, I know I will be okay no matter what. God is on my side.
Funny's of the Day:
Evidently Creide provides us the majority of our entertainment around here because here are two more from this 3 year old firecracker.
1.) Taking his finger and sticking it up his nose he asks me as serious as can be, "Mommy, why don't we do this?"
2.) We had to go to the store and get some medication for me and he started in on how he didn't want to go and how he was going to stay home by himself and on and on and on.... It was then that like any good mother does I used reverse psychology. (Just kidding, any good parent would tell you that this is not the proper parenting technique to use.) Anyway, I told him that was fine he could stay here and that daddy and I would simply enjoy our ice cream without him. He quickly changed his mind about the whole staying home alone thing. Jason being the dad he is said, "Oh no, it is too late, you have to stay here." Creide started laughing at him cause Jason is just SO believable. Jason says, "Look at my face, I am serious." Without skipping a beat Creide says to his daddy, "Look at MY face, I'm serious." It was hilarious to hear that come out of his 3 year old. God help us! What will 4 look like?
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Day 18: Preparation
I am feeling pretty good today. The fatigue is kind of a constant factor. I feel like I am 3 years old again and need my nap each day in order to function.
A lot of neat stuff happened today. Our dear friends, Karin and Bill, came over and helped us paint our office. We have never really had time to set this space up properly and since Jason is going to have to work from home more now to take care of me, it is critical that we get this done so he can do this efficiently. In the next couple of days we are hoping to add French doors to the room so that he can have some quiet study time when needed as our house is rarely quiet.
The neatest part of the day for me was at the end of the painting time I was able to sit and talk with both Karin and Bill about all that I was going through. They had a lot of questions about the side effects the chemo brings and how I felt during the process. I find that I really enjoy educating people about this as I really don't think people realize all of what goes into actually receiving treatment. I am not doing this for my own sake but my thoughts keep going back to my grandpa that battled cancer for three years, receiving treatments the majority of the time, and I was clueless to all that he had to deal with. I knew it was rough on him but I had no idea how rough. My heart breaks because I didn't know these things. I want to educate others so that when someone else comes into their lives that has cancer they know what they are going through and can provide support in the areas that are truly needed. I know that there are some great programs out there that already provide this type of support but I think the more we all can be educated about these things the better.
I have already started mentally preparing for Wednesday. I am still really trying to enjoy the last few days before my treatment but I can't help but to start gearing up for it. I tell myself that I can do it, it will only be a few days and then I will feel better. I visualize all of the cancer cells in my body dying because of the treatment. (I have to tell you the truth, this visualization helps a lot!) It reminds me of the days when I use to run competitively. So much went into preparing mentally for the race. Who knew that God was actually preparing me for so much more than just a race at the time.
I have continued to receive so much encouragement for my writings here on the blog. Thank you so much. Sometimes I think that no one could possibly want to read these but the encouragement keeps me going. I wanted to give a shout out to all of my friends that I saw at church tonight. Thanks for loving on me and just continuing to lift me up throughout this whole thing. I love you all!
Okay, so I know some of you are just waiting for the Funny of the Day's so I will get to it!
1.) My sister and brother came over to continue to paint my kitchen for me so I am blessed to receive my sister's beautiful painting ability and my brother's sense of humor. He was painting one of the walls in the kitchen and he doesn't even bother taking down the curtain. He paints right up to it and then stops. My sister tells him, "Cole, you need to take down the curtain and paint there too." He says, "Why? No one will see it." She tells him of course people will see it she sees it. He comes back with, "Well, I am actually saving my sister money by not wasting the paint to paint there."
2.) My wonderful husband let the youth group kids shave his head because I will soon be losing my own hair and he wanted to show his support. By the way, there is a great deal of footage of this on Jason's Facebook page if you are interested. Anyway, he is explaining to the boys that he did this for me because the medicine the doctors are giving mommy will make her lose her hair. Creide, the ever so funny 3 year old, comes up to me and says, "Mommy, I have been sick and daddy gave me some medicine and now my hair is going to fall out too!"
A lot of neat stuff happened today. Our dear friends, Karin and Bill, came over and helped us paint our office. We have never really had time to set this space up properly and since Jason is going to have to work from home more now to take care of me, it is critical that we get this done so he can do this efficiently. In the next couple of days we are hoping to add French doors to the room so that he can have some quiet study time when needed as our house is rarely quiet.
The neatest part of the day for me was at the end of the painting time I was able to sit and talk with both Karin and Bill about all that I was going through. They had a lot of questions about the side effects the chemo brings and how I felt during the process. I find that I really enjoy educating people about this as I really don't think people realize all of what goes into actually receiving treatment. I am not doing this for my own sake but my thoughts keep going back to my grandpa that battled cancer for three years, receiving treatments the majority of the time, and I was clueless to all that he had to deal with. I knew it was rough on him but I had no idea how rough. My heart breaks because I didn't know these things. I want to educate others so that when someone else comes into their lives that has cancer they know what they are going through and can provide support in the areas that are truly needed. I know that there are some great programs out there that already provide this type of support but I think the more we all can be educated about these things the better.
I have already started mentally preparing for Wednesday. I am still really trying to enjoy the last few days before my treatment but I can't help but to start gearing up for it. I tell myself that I can do it, it will only be a few days and then I will feel better. I visualize all of the cancer cells in my body dying because of the treatment. (I have to tell you the truth, this visualization helps a lot!) It reminds me of the days when I use to run competitively. So much went into preparing mentally for the race. Who knew that God was actually preparing me for so much more than just a race at the time.
I have continued to receive so much encouragement for my writings here on the blog. Thank you so much. Sometimes I think that no one could possibly want to read these but the encouragement keeps me going. I wanted to give a shout out to all of my friends that I saw at church tonight. Thanks for loving on me and just continuing to lift me up throughout this whole thing. I love you all!
Okay, so I know some of you are just waiting for the Funny of the Day's so I will get to it!
1.) My sister and brother came over to continue to paint my kitchen for me so I am blessed to receive my sister's beautiful painting ability and my brother's sense of humor. He was painting one of the walls in the kitchen and he doesn't even bother taking down the curtain. He paints right up to it and then stops. My sister tells him, "Cole, you need to take down the curtain and paint there too." He says, "Why? No one will see it." She tells him of course people will see it she sees it. He comes back with, "Well, I am actually saving my sister money by not wasting the paint to paint there."
2.) My wonderful husband let the youth group kids shave his head because I will soon be losing my own hair and he wanted to show his support. By the way, there is a great deal of footage of this on Jason's Facebook page if you are interested. Anyway, he is explaining to the boys that he did this for me because the medicine the doctors are giving mommy will make her lose her hair. Creide, the ever so funny 3 year old, comes up to me and says, "Mommy, I have been sick and daddy gave me some medicine and now my hair is going to fall out too!"
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