Days 5 & 6: The Whirlwind

There has been so much going on that I am combining some posts just so I can get them on here. 

Day 5: Sunday, February 6, 2011

Today Jason and I pretty much just laid low. It was really nice and God continued to provide me with an intense peace for the future. There were a couple of times that doubt tried to creep in. I think my number one negative thought today - what if I am being overly optimistic? What if I am not being realistic? I couldn't help but to think about other times in my life when I was accused of this. I remembered when my oldest son was born, I had people calling me telling me they were sorry that he wasn't going to live, however, I just had a certainty that only God could provide that he was going to be okay. He will be 11 1/2 in 3 days. But none the less, the doubt still tries to creep in.

The highlight of my day - my baby girl said "Mama" for the first time, which was also her first word. This was like a present from God. I just rejoiced in hearing her little voice. God is so good and knows just what I need to keep pressing on.

Day 6: Monday, February 7, 2011

I was doing really well this morning until the doctor's office called and asked me to come in an hour early. I lost it. I just squeezed my baby girl so tight and cried. I cannot imagine leaving her when she is so little and my mind was just thinking the worst. I started praying - calling out to the Lord. This is when the following conversation took place in my head.

Voice in head: Andrea! Get a hold of yourself.
(Andrea, still crying ignoring voice.)
Voice in head: Seriously, Andrea! How would one hour possibly make a difference in this situation?
(Andrea's crying slowing as she ponders what voice in head is saying.)
Voice in head: Think about it. They didn't say "come right down, you have to get here now, or we need to see you urgently." They just moved your appointment up ONE HOUR! It must be a scheduling conflict.
(Andrea sniffling.) Okay fine! 


Or something like that anyway. :-) Seems so silly to think about now.

Upon getting to the doctor's office I ran into a lovely lady from my church who was recently diagnosed with breast cancer and is on her second treatment. It was so encouraging to see her. Although I have never gotten to know her well personally, I feel like we already have a bond there that I would have never understood before.

We received the diagnosis and it just went so well. I know it seems crazy to be rejoicing when you have just received the news that you have cancer but that is what I am doing. I just praise the Lord so much for this wonderful prognosis. I know I am going to be okay. The staff was just so amazed at how quickly I was diagnosed. The nurse called it a phenomenon, I call it a miracle. ;-)

They did give me a pile of homework. I feel like I am trying to study for a semester final, although, in perspective I don't feel like any of my semester finals were ever this important. I am trying to make sure I do everything "just right" in order to give my body what it needs to do the very best that it can with the chemo. Thank you Lord for Jason. As I read and read he is also studying with me and retaining far more than I am I think. He takes care of me so well.

So, I have a few more tests to get done this week and Wednesday I start on chemo. I have no idea what to expect or when to expect it. I am solely relying on the Lord.

My heart cannot express how much all of your prayers have meant to me. Thank you so much. I love you all.

~Andrea