{A+Y Design Gallery}

So, I have been wanting to do a post about {A+Y Design Gallery} since I first stepped into the gallery a couple of weeks ago. First, you have to know that back story. You know me, there is ALWAYS a back story.

Adam and Yesenia Duncan are the owners - hence the whole A+Y thing. Isn't that sweet. I just can just picture that carved in a tree in the Colorado woods somewhere. Anyway, Adam was actually one of my neighbors growing up as a kid. It was great fun for me. Adam and his two brothers did all kinds of crazy stuff that was very entertaining. (When you visit his gallery you should ask him to tell you some of the stories. They are hilarious.)

So, we all grew up and moved our separate ways, got married (order may vary by couple), had kids (some of us more than others), and then moved back to our hometown where we all started to attend the same church together. The same church that my husband is now the youth pastor at.

My husband started to get to know Adam's wife through a ministry outreach that he did at the place where she used to work. So, we started to get to know Yesenia, who is this amazing person and it is very clear why Adam made her his bride. So, now we are at present day...

Adam turned out to be this phenomenal artist/designer and craftsman. (I am hoping I am doing him justice here because there really aren't words for the work that he does. You will see in a minute.)  


Anyway, Adam and Yesenia recently opened their new gallery downtown. I was finally able to visit and I have fallen in love!


There are a few things that I absolutely love in this word:


1.) Almost anything vintage
2.) Handmade items
3.) Unique design using various elements - the more unexpected the better

Adam utilizes ALL of these elements (& more) and creates these amazing pieces. No matter what your style, you will find something there and if not, then he will design it for you.

I am not kidding when I say that his designs are world class quality - heirloom quality. You know, the kind your kids will be handing down to their great-grandkids.

Anyway, the reason why I am also so excited about this place is because this is where Jason bought my birthday gift from. I know, right! But you are going to have to wait for the big reveal on that one. I don't have pictures of it yet but don't you worry, it is making itself quite comfortable in my home.

But I will show you some of the photos I took of the gallery and some of my favorite pieces (other than the birthday gift.)

Please note - First, A+Y Design Gallery also features pieces from other artisans in the area, so some of their pieces are featured below. Second, my photos simply do not come close to giving these pieces the justice they deserve, so please bare with me.

{This is an inlay in the floor of the gallery and is just dripping with sweetness. Another thing that I love about this place is the husband/wife team behind it. Adam is the designer but Yesenia completes her husband in an amazing way and obviously provides a great deal of inspiration to him. You can also see her touches throughout the store as well.}

You can learn more about {A+Y Design Gallery} by vising their website or their Facebook page. Please be sure to give them a "like" for me while you are there. :-)

The Blessing of Friends

I am blessed to be married to my very best friend. I know that sadly not everyone can say that and so it makes me cherish this relationship even more. There is no one else I would rather spend my time with than my husband. He is the one that knows me inside and out and the one person that I can always be completely honest with and I know he will never judge me or stop loving me. I thank God for him and our relationship each and every day.

However, there are times when you need other friends too. The past few weeks have been filled with one heart breaking situation after another. It seems like there were only a couple of days in there that we didn't get a call due to another crisis. I can't even begin to tell you all of the issues we were dealing with (and by "we" I mean mostly Jason and my very small supporting roll). But I could see the toll that these issues were taking on my husband. He loves the kids that he works with so much that it literally breaks his heart to see them hurting and going through such hard things. Normally he handles these things really well - far better than I ever could that is for sure. But when there are so many things happening at once it is hard for even him to bounce back over and over again.

Yesterday was his day off and I remember asking him how long it was going to be before we would "get him back". By that I mean that his mind could truly be in the moment and not off thinking of the many different problems he is dealing with. Don't get me wrong, I hurt for these situations too but for me to continue to press on during the week without my husband I really need to have some time with my husband on his day off.

I knew he was trying really hard but I also knew that this situation needed some extra help. So, I reached out to one of his friends and I asked if he would take my hubby shooting. For those of you who don't know J he LOVES to shoot. He shot competition for a number of years and it is a huge release for him. His friend was more than willing to take him and so that is what they did for 2 hours yesterday - they had "man time". Did they talk about the issues that J has been dealing with - no. They probably didn't even talk much at all knowing them. But that isn't what J needed.

Isn't it funny how different guys are from girls. Us girls have to talk about EVERYTHING. Process. Process. Process. Guys - not so much.

Anyway, I am so thankful for the blessing of good friends in our life. For the people we can call in a moments notice and know that they will be there for us. They are truly gifts from God and we treasure each and every one of you.

{I thank my God every time I remember you.} 

Philippians 1:3

Resentment...

As you have probably noticed, I have been quiet on here lately. It has been nearly 2 weeks since my last post. I know there have been a few reasons why....

1.) I was just tired of writing about cancer. I was tired of thinking about it - even in a positive light of being past it and being cancer-free. And I kind of feel like you might be tired of reading about it too. I could be wrong.

It has been a year since this disease entered my life and it is definitely something that I want to put behind me completely. Yes, I will use the knowledge, compassion, and experience I have gained from it and do my best to help others. I acknowledge that I will never ever be the same - but beyond that, I do not want it to be the focus of my life.

I hear so often people say that they are grateful they had cancer. I am not one of those people. I think, "good for them" if it transformed their life in such a way. If they found salvation because they went through cancer then praise God for that. If their life was impacted in such a positive way that they can live by that statement - then I am honestly happy for them. I am just not one of those people.

I could have gone through my entire life without the experience of cancer and been perfectly happy. I do have resentment of what the cancer took from me. The precious time with my children, my "normal" life, my energy... but then I realize that is a very dangerous place to live. When we let that resentment camp out in our hearts it can be more destructive than we can possibly imagine. So, then I have to shift the paradigm of my thinking to what I know is real...

I know that it is real that there were blessings throughout my treatment. For example, I have met so many wonderful people and I will be able to cherish their friendship for the rest of my life. In fact, I was at a worship night at our church last night and one sweet girl that I met and have grown close to because of my cancer was there. She gave me a hug and told me that she loved me. My heart immediately went into a condition of thankfulness - yes, for the cancer. For if I would have not gone through that I would not have this delightful person in my life today. And there are countless people that fall into that category.

I have been able to reconnect with old friends from years and years gone by. Who knows why we fall out of touch and really who cares. The important thing is that we are able to draw near to those in our life, lift each other up, and just love one another no matter where we are at in our own lives.

I could really go on and on. No, I am not thankful for the cancer. I don't have a pillow with the saying, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger" and a purple ribbon sitting on my bed. What I do have is a grateful heart that even though I went through the darkest time of my life - God never left me and even more amazingly - HE BLESSED ME!

He didn't just get me through it - he gave me gifts of love and provisions beyond my wildest dreams. He gave me family, friends, a church family, and a community that tenderly cared for me when I could not care for myself. No, I am not grateful for the cancer. But I am grateful for what God gave me in the midst of it. Those things I will cherish always.

I know I said there were other reasons I have been absent lately but I think this is enough for today. I am teary eyed upon my reflections and that is always a good place to stop. I will write more about this later... and I will try to make that sooner than later.

Blessings,
Andrea

The "Official" Cancer Update & Prayer Request

So, we were so overjoyed at the news that I am now a "cancer survivor" that I realized I never did a complete update on my situation. I know there are some of you who are wanting to know what is going on exactly so here it is...

As far as the PET scan is concerned I am at what they call a "complete response" - which meas that there is not any cancer being detected.

I do, however, have a spot in my chest. Evidently it is an enlarged lymph node and I guess this is common for the type of Hodgkin's Lymphoma that I had. So, they will basically just watch this spot until it goes away or if it doesn't go away I guess they will just keep watching it for the rest of my life.

I have my next CT scan on 2/20 and then meet with my oncologist a week or so after that. If I get a clear scan then, my oncologist will let me get my port out. That will be a happy day because this thing honestly drives me crazy.

From there I will see my oncologist every 3 month with a scan every 6 months. Once I hit the 2 year mark my risk for the HL to come back goes down significantly. When I hit 5 years it goes down even more. In 8 years they will start watching me closely for breast cancer as my risk for that is up due to the radiation.

So, if you would like to continue to pray for me I would of course appreciate that. Please pray that my scans continue to be clear and that the spot in my chest just goes away so we don't have to worry about that.

Anyway, that is the situation for now. It really does feel so good to know that I won't have to have anymore treatment. I really don't know what to do with myself right now but I am sure I will figure something out. As of now, I am just trying to give myself the rest that I need. They say that it takes just as long to recover as it did to go through treatment so I am looking at another 8 months or so in order to get back to normal.

Thanks again for all of the prayers and other support so many of you have offered over this past year. We couldn't have done this without you and, of course, without God. For He receives all of the glory for giving me the strength and will to get to this point and for placing so many wonderful people in my life to help us in our time of need. I am truly grateful for each and every second HE has given me. They are a precious gift.

Blessings and Love,
Andrea

A Different Kind of Joy

One thing that some people would never associate with cancer is joy. But as I have walked through this journey I have noticed some very distinctive times where I experience shear joy. Perhaps you become more aware of these moments because there are so many struggles along the way and when you feel joy it is more enhanced because of those hard times. 

I remember the first time I felt this joy.... it was July 13, 2011. It was the day I finished my chemo treatments. Now keep in mind, this was kind of a clouded joy as I had just spent the last 6 hours being pumped full of drugs. But I still felt joy. As my friends and family surrounded me outside the cancer center and offered me gifts of flowers and balloons to help me celebrate... I felt joy. 

The next time I remember feeling this joy was the day I finished radiation. This joy was even more powerful than the joy I felt after chemo. (A lot of this probably had to do with the fact that I was not pumped full of drugs that day.) But I really felt joy in that moment. I did it. I had endured a month of radiation every single day. As the staff played music and through confetti in my hair... I felt joy. 

The next time I felt this type of joy was 2 days ago. It was the oddest thing - I met with my first doctor and he gave me the news, yet, I held my heart back. I then went to the second doctor and he confirmed the news, yet, I still held back for some reason - like I was too afraid to believe it. It wasn't until he said the words, "You are now a cancer survivor," that it really hit me. That shear joy. I had done it. I had made it to the end. I had battled for my life and I had won. I felt joy. 

Today I woke up and had that joy as well. It was just a beautiful joy-filled day. (I am sure yesterday was the same I was just too tired to realize it.) But anyway, all I have right now is joy. 

The crazy thing is that I would have never chosen this for myself. If God would have given me a menu of "growth opportunities", there is no way I would have selected the "cancer" box. But if I wouldn't have gone through all of this I would have never felt this different kind of joy I am experiencing today. 

Would I do it again? Umm.... probably not. (Just being honest here.) But it is just a beautiful reminder of God's love for us. Not only will he walk through the valley with us but while we are standing on the mountain top he will show us the rainbow. I am on the mountain top right now and I can tell you... the view is beautiful. 

Blessing and Love,

Andrea

{Thankfulness}....6 Things I Am Truly {Thankful} For

For those who know me best - you have probably noticed that I have not written about being {thankful} yet, despite it being the theme for this wonderful month. I honestly have been trying... I have started several posts. But I have so many things to be thankful for that it seemed impossible to do this subject any justice.

So, here is a feeble attempt to cover some of the things that I am so thankful for. I know I will not be able to cover it all but it is at least a start...

1. {God.} 

For those of you who are reading this - I have no idea if you believe in God or not. But for me, there is no other way but the way of the Lord. He has blessed me so abundantly - even when I did not deserve it (which is most of the time :-). I would not have survived all that I have in my life if it weren't for His grace, mercy and love.

     2.  {My Husband.} 

One of the greatest blessings that God has given me is the man that I call my husband.  He has seen me at my absolute worst and still loves me anyway. He has continually put himself last time and time again to take care of me, our children, his ministry, and everything else God has called him to do.

There are no words to describe how this man has loved me so well. He has held me when my body has hurt so badly I thought I would crawl out of my skin. He has sat by my side as I have gotten sick time and time again. He has rubbed my feet and hands for hours because he knew it made me feel just a little bit better. My husband has not just loved me with words, he has loved me with is actions, his selflessness and unconditional giving. I am so truly thankful for him each and every day. If I could choose all over again - I would DEFINITELY choose him. :-)

     3.  {My Children.} 

There are no words to describe how much I love my children and how thankful I am for them. I could literally write a book just about my kids. Probably 4 of them - one for each of them. :-) I am overwhelmed that God chose me to be their mother. I am truly honored.

Each of my children are so different and I am thankful for that as well. I love witnessing how uniquely God has made each of them. I love watching their gifts and their talents grow and develop and I can't wait to see how God ends up using each of them.

I am thankful for each day, each hour, each minute, and each second with them. One of the most heartbreaking parts of my diagnosis was not knowing how many of these I would have left. In all honesty - none of us know how much time we have left and I am determined not to squander mine on things that do not matter. My children matter.

 When each of them give me those special hugs throughout the day I find myself squeezing them for another second - soaking up the cherished moment. There is no place I would rather be. :-)

     4.  {Our Family.}

We are very blessed to live so close to so much of our family. They are there in a moments notice. They have definitely filled the gaps these last few months where we fell short. Their love for us is amazing and we are so thankful for it.

They are key fixtures in my children's lives. The time they get to spend with them is truly precious. The things that they learn from each of them and the memories that they are able to create are priceless and I know they will carry them with them for all of their days.

     5.   {My Friends.} 

Wow. Where do I begin? Thank you to my friends who have loved me even when I was unlovable. Thank you to my friends who stood by my side no matter what. Some of you came to my house and scrubbed my floors. Some of you sat there by my side while they injected me with my chemo cocktail. You called and left messages even though you knew I was too weak to return them. You sent emails even though you knew I was too tired to reply. You cooked for my family when I could not. You took care of my children when I had no energy to do so. You listened to me when I complained and felt sorry for myself. You read my blog. :-) You gave me grace. You were my friend even though I couldn't be your friend back. I am SO thankful for you. You are a true treasure. (You know who you are.)

     5.   {Our Church Body.}

There are no words to describe the love and support that our church family and friends have given us. They have stood by our sides through loss and sickness, through broken arms and ER visits. They have met us on this road called life countless times and they have helped us to keep moving forward, closer to the cross all the while growing closer to our Lord Jesus.

     6.    {Our Community.} 

The support we have received from our community has been overwhelming. People that I do not even know personally will stop me and ask me my name. They will then say something like, "I have been praying for you," or "I have been reading your blog." They hear our story from a variety of ways - our family, our friends, friends of friends. They take time out of their lives to follow our journey and truly care and for that I will be forever grateful.

So, I have to tell you this was not an easy one to write. It was very emotional for me to think of these  and try to put into words how I feel about each of them. This is only a small piece of all that I am thankful for and, like I said, I could go on and on but I will spare you from that.

I am thankful for you - all who read this as well. You have allowed me to process all of the emotions and feelings that I could have so easily stuffed down deep somewhere. You have supported me and I am grateful.

Blessings,
Andrea

Chemo #12....{Hopefully My Last}

Chemo #12 was pretty rough. It was rough right out of the gate - far worse than any other treatment. I was very weak even before I left the cancer center. I am always weak when I am done with my treatments but this time I was even more so.

Upon leaving the cancer center......I was surprised by this.

These are the the friends and family that decided to surprise me outside the cancer treatment center to celebrate my last treatment {hopefully}. The crazy thing is that it was like a million degrees out there and my treatment ran late so they all waited like 45 minutes in the blazing heat! I feel so loved.

They brought me balloons, flowers, even cupcakes! I was overwhelmed of course at the thought of all of these people taking time out of their busy day to wait for me. Thank you and I love you all! It was such a blessing to have you all there.

After my treatment I was pretty much bed-ridden for the next 5 days. I couldn't hold my eyes open with toothpicks I was so exhausted. At least I wasn't throwing up though. I would much rather sleep for 5 days than throw up.

Now, I am still recovering. They told me it would take 6-8 months. I feel like I have had to dedicate so much time to this stupid disease but I know God has a plan.

So now I have to wait for the next set of tests to determine whether or not my cancer is gone and I am truly in remission. In the meantime I am enjoying the time that I have regardless. I refuse to sit and think the worst all of the time and waste my days away. Whether I need more treatments or not these days are still gifts from God and I intend to enjoy them to the fullest.
Love you all and thanks for reading.

~Andrea

Emotions are Running High!

This past week has been super emotional for me. Every time I sat down to blog I would start getting teary eyed and just not wanting to face the emotion of it all I would find myself wondering off to do something else. The emotion is not bad - what we have gone through is very emotional. I have had times where I have laughed and times that I have cried - and I am so thankful that I am alive to do both. But when you have a husband and 3 boys who are very tuned into their wife and mother - if they see me crying they immediately want to rush in a fix what is wrong and this isn't something that can be fixed.

I can't even tell you why I am so emotional. Maybe because I am at the end and I have been waiting and dreaming of this all to be over for nearly 6 long months. Maybe it is because I am scared that this next chemo treatment will be worse than the last one and I don't want to go through that again - EVER! Maybe it is because I am afraid the cancer really isn't gone and they will deliver me the news that I will need more treatments - or worse. I find myself thinking about that and holding my breath slightly - hoping for the best but still fearing the worst.

Anyway, I am also super emotional because my friend Autumn came over on Thursday and dropped off meals galore to get us through this next chemo treatment (Wednesday). She had called in the troops and they filled our freezer with the most amazing meals. That probably makes me the most emotional. Despite the fact that I usually can't eat that much during my treatments and my taste-buds are completely dead.... my friends are taking care of my family while I can't and that brings so much joy to my heart it is truly overwhelming. It is overwhelming because they know my heart is for my family and they know that if they are taken care of that I will rest easier which will allow my recovery to come much sooner. Through that I feel so loved....thank you all from the bottom of my heart for all you have done to love on me but more importantly for loving on my family.

I really feel like God is just clearly reminding me how very blessed I am. As I watched the fireworks - one of my very favorite holidays - I just soaked it all up. I was so thankful to be able to experience that once again with my family. As I have my birthday coming up tomorrow for the first time since my early twenties I am truly grateful to be turning another year older. (Yeah, I never thought that would happen.) And for those of you who are secretly wondering how old I am and are just too polite to ask (for all of you who aren't my Facebook friends where it is so glaringly displayed) I will be 32 and I am very very proud of it. (Here I go again with the tears...)

{14 Days}....and Counting!

First of all I need to share some blessings of mine today. I had many. Some very good friends stopped by and saw me at the cancer center. I always feel so blessed the people take time out of their schedules to come see me. It just means so much and it makes the 6 hours I spend there go by much faster too!

Then, my dear sweet friend Autumn brought our family dinner for tonight while I was at the center and she made me (yes, I am using the term "me" - I haven't all together decided whether or not I will share this with the rest of the fam or not) this incredible strawberry shortcake dessert. In fact, I am eating right now and it is so good. I can actually taste it. Nothing can perk you up from chemo like strawberry shortcake! Thanks Autumn!

I was also blessed because my kids were able to go to my friend Georgia's house today which they have been missing like crazy. They got to play with their 3 little friends and Georgia was able to play with the baby. I don't know who has more fun - the kids or Georgia playing with the baby. I just feel so blessed to have friends and family (and the friends who have turned into family) that we have. I love you all. 

I even think my little eye spied Miss Rissa there. (She is the babysitter that Georgia and I share.) Technically she is our babysitter first because we found her.... just kidding. Miss Rissa has a big enough heart to love us all - and there is no doubt in my mind that she does love us and we love her dearly too! 

Anyway, I feel abundantly blessed today even though I have chemo on the brain and my body is super tired. 14 days and counting until my last treatment! And then, as Autumn so frequently reminds me... we are going to party like it is 1999! Yes, you are now going to have that song stuck in your head all night....:-) 

I am...

...a believer who loves the Lord with all my heart.

...a wife that is still very much in-love with my husband.

...a mother who simply adores my children.

...a daughter that is grateful for her parents.

...a granddaughter who cherishes my grandparents and all the time I have been able to spend with them.

...a sister who is patiently waiting to become an aunt. Oh, I love being your sister too.

...a friend who cherishes these relationships that God has blessed me with.

...a church member who is grateful for the church family God has given me.

...a writer who relies on my words to tell my story.

...a crafter who relies on my creativity as my release in life.

...a survivor. (There are no words.)

{I am me.} 

Who are you?

It's Okay to Struggle

It's okay to struggle. Did you know that? I have to remind myself of that quite often. I had to remind myself of that today in fact. It isn't that I don't want to appear weak - I know I am weak and only God provides my strength. It is that I hate to bother anyone. I think that if I admit that I am struggling that I might bother someone because they may want to help me. How silly is that? Of course we are suppose to help one another. We are the body of Christ.

Yesterday I was struggling deeply. Finally I thought to myself how silly it was for me to be worrying and struggling all by myself like that (Jason was at work) and so I called my dear friend, Maryann. I said, "Hey, Maryann, I am struggling and just need someone to talk to about it." She was happy to do so - just listen to me and let me get things out in the light so God can do His thing. She asked me a couple of questions and gave me Godly advise and then guess what - she prayed for me. It was so refreshing. I spent all of those hours worrying and stressing over these things - most of which I cannot control - and in one phone call to a friend, things were in perspective and I could cope again.

Do you have a friend like that? I pray you do. God has blessed me with people in my life, like Maryann, that I know will be there for me when I need them and sometimes, even when I don't know that I need them. I was thankful for my friend Maryann today because of her insight and her prayers, I feel like that is also why I am doing so well today. God used her to bless me in a time when I needed it most.

God bless you all!
~Andrea

A Little Help From My Friends....Part 1

I wanted to share a couple of things that have just touched my heart recently. There have been so many things, I could literally blog for days and days but I just thought I would start with these for now.

My friend Autumn dropped a book of devotionals off for me at church recently, which Jason brought home for me yesterday. If you know me, you know I love devotionals. I think that my heart is drawn to the "real life" approach that devotionals often bring. Anyway, I am laying on the couch, tired and weary to say the least, and he hands me this leather bound book. It is one of those books that has a devotional for each specific day. I kid you not, I opened the book EXACTLY to February 15th. That isn't even the best part though... Here is what this little book of treasures had to say to me:

"Come to Me with all your weaknesses: physical, emotional, and spiritual. Rest in the comfort of My Presence, remembering that nothing is impossible with Me. 


Pry your mind away from your problems so you can focus your attention on Me. Recall that I am able to do immeasurably more than all you ask or imagine. Instead of trying to direct Me to do this and that, seek to attune yourself to what I am already doing. 


When anxiety attempts to wedge its way into your thoughts, remind yourself that I am your Shepherd. The bottom lin is that I am taking care of you; therefore, you needn't be afraid of anything. Rather than trying to maintain control over your life, abandon yourself to My will. Though this may feel frightening-even dangerous, the safest place to be is in My will." 


At the very least I felt as this had been written for me by God himself for that very moment in time. It never ceases to amaze me that he is ready and willing to meet us right where we are, despite where we are. All we have to do is turn to him.

There was another factor that I was extremely thankful for in all of this. My friend Autumn. If she wouldn't have gotten this book for me, I wouldn't have received this message from God - at least not in that way and this was a very powerful way for me.

I have been so thankful for all my friends and family that have done things just like this in order for me to hear, see, and witness God's love for me first hand. These are truly the things that keep me going. Love you all!

~Andrea

P.S. For those of you who are interested in getting a copy of your own devotional mentioned above it is called Jesus Calling - Enjoying Peace In His Presence by Sarah Young. Click here to order a copy of yourself.