Why Is It So Hard to Say Goodbye?

This past Sunday we said goodbye to Kylie and Isaac who interned for the church this past summer. For me personally this really snuck up on me as this summer has been so fast paced it seems like they just got here. How could it possibly be time for them to leave already? But it is time for them to go back to their previous lives hopefully calling this a rewarding experience and cherishing the memories made as I know we will.

As I arrived at church that Sunday morning and saw them on stage leading worship for the last time I felt that familiar pain in my heart and remembered it dreadfully as the “pain of goodbye.” I got choked up for a few moments before I regained my composure. You see, I hate saying goodbye. Not that there is really anyone who likes to say goodbye to those we love and care about. I know that I am not any different than the next person in the fact that I just overall do not like this feeling. It just seems like we have to say “goodbye” a lot in our lives.

Coming from a split family myself, which is not that uncommon these days, and I think that it is just a reality that you learn to face as a child. When your parents are no longer together you are automatically saying goodbye to one of your parents at all times. No matter how well they get along this is just the way it is. This, without fail, does leave some sort of lasting impression on your life. Then you have your normal lifetime goodbye stuff….if a friend moves or you lose a grandparent. When family comes to visit and then the visit is over. I have a cousin that when I visit and then I have to say goodbye it hurts my heart so much. For a time in my life I felt like it was better to just avoid the visit or avoid the relationship all together if it was going to hurt that much when it was time to part ways.

Jason and I have had a great deal of experience saying goodbye in our own relationship as well. When we first started dating we lived an hour away from each other which in this day and age isn’t all that much but add completely opposite schedules and the fact that he was trying to finish up college to the mix and it becomes difficult. It was awful each time I had to say goodbye to him and my heart would just ache. But patience and perseverance paid off as we made it through those times to the very happy marriage that we have today. I do know that because we had to spend so much time apart in the beginning that we absolutely appreciate the times that we have together now and never take that time for granted.

After we were married we continued to say goodbye but this time as a couple. In my husband’s career before he became a youth pastor he worked for a company that moved us 10,000 miles in a 2 year period. Yes, that is right and no, I am not exaggerating. To this day I absolutely cannot stand packing, even if it is to go away for the weekend, and I blame it on the fact that we moved more than most people do in a lifetime in a very short period of time.

During our many moves with this company we said goodbye to a lot of very good people. Unfortunately, most of them we are not still in contact with. Long distance relationships take effort and with as busy as everyone is today people rarely have time to maintain such friendships. Now, thanks to such things as Facebook it is a little easier than it once was but it still takes effort. Once again I developed the attitude that if it was going to hurt that bad when we moved again was it really worth starting the friendship in the first place?

As these two young people left that day I came to a new conclusion. One that I know was in my heart the whole time despite how hard I tried to bury it. I can tell you that, yes, it is worth starting the friendship. It is worth the effort in staying in contact and maintaining that friendship. What a lonely life it would be if you didn’t put yourself out there even if you might have to say goodbye someday. I can tell you when it comes to saying goodbye that I am not any good at it. No one is. But I know for sure that I would rather feel the pains of goodbye then to never invest in the friendship at all. I would much rather have the memories of those friendships then to have never made them in the first place. So, here is to Kylie and Isaac. Thanks for the friendship, thanks for the memories and may this not be “goodbye” but merely see you later. We love you guys and may God Bless you.

We Can Just Be Cool….

My 11 year old has always provided me great insight on many things in life. It has always made me laugh, here I am the mom and suppose to be guiding my son through the treachery of life and yet more often then not I find myself thoughtfully jotting down what he has said so that I can pray and reflect on it later. This is something I got use to early as I saw how gifted God had made him and laying down my own pride I just embraced it.

Anyway, we were talking about different “religions” and what makes a “religion” and what makes a "relationship" with Christ and why we should truly seek a "relationship" over a "religion". He started to tell me how much he enjoyed his “relationship” compared to what he knew about other “religions.” He goes on to explain that he likes his own “relationship with Christ” because he can, “just be cool and worship God how he wanted to.” At the time this made me
chuckle a bit but as I went on to ponder this 11 year old wisdom I realized how right he was. It instantly made me think of the following scripture...."Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." (Matthew 11:28-30 - NIV) Or maybe an 11 year olds interpretation.... "Come to me and just be cool." What an amazing concept and how many of us adults miss that….

It gives my heart so much joy to watch our youth group worship the Lord. It is so inspiring and more than once it as moved me to tears. The purity that they have about them is breathtaking. The way they hold their hands high, eyes closed tightly, offering the Lord their whole heart. In that moment, despite what life has dropped on their door step, nothing else matters. It is just them and God and they can "just be cool."

I was in my late 20’s when I finally got the concept of coming to the Lord as I am, arms held high, offering him my entire heart. I encourage you, if you have not worshiped in such a free manner to give it a try. Close your eyes tightly, forget about everyone else around you, raise your hands to your Heavenly Father, and worship him for all that you are. It may very well change your life. I know it has changed mine.

Ky....

Kylind, or Ky as we affectionately call him, arrived on October 30th nearly five years ago in Fairbanks, Alaska. Every since we found out we were going to have him he has been such a huge blessing to us.

There are so many things about our middle son that are hard to explain. He has the most amazing blue eyes that you can literally get lost in. Even though he has this rough and tough demeanor on the outside he is actually extremely thoughtful and caring (a lot like his dad.) Lately he has become a lot more sensitive and gets his feeling hurt far more then he once did. He loves babies, which was a huge surprise to me, and he is very sensitive to animals. If he thinks an animal doesn’t have a home he is the first one to want to adopt it. He absolutely adores his baby sister and says that he is her “tector” (as in protector) and I don’t doubt it for a minute. I pity anyone who tries to mess with Ky’s baby sister.

From the minute his sister was born he has had a comfort level with her that is just
so amazing to me. He will pick her up and put her on his shoulder and just pat
away without a worry even though I am a nervous wreck fearful that he is going to
drop her. He always gives me these funny looks as I am doing acrobatic moves to
ensure my hands are just in the right place just in case. Yet, he has never dropped her, never even bobbled her. He just has this confidence with her that is beyond his years. This always makes me smile because I think of what a wonderful daddy he will be someday.

One of my favorite things about Ky are his questions. He has the most thoughtful
questions and he will just rapid fire them at you whether you know the answers or
not. I also love his chubby little hands with his dimpled knuckles, especially
watching him fold them together with squinted eyes as he prays. He has become
so thoughtful in his prayers and his relationship with God and this has been so wonderful to watch. One day he looked at me with those deep
blue eyes and said, “You know mom, God is in charge.” All I could do was chuckle at him
and say, “Yes He is Ky....yes He is...."

Even though Ky just has this natural popularity about him and he just draws
people to him he is actually relatively shy. He gets embarrassed easily and does not like doing things in front of others if he isn’t absolutely 100% sure of himself. Again, all of this reminds me so much of his dad.

When I think of Ky, I think of the following scripture.... "Who may ascend the hill of the LORD? Who may stand in his holy place?
He who has clean hands and a pure heart, who does not lift up his soul to an idol or swear by what is false. He will receive blessing from the Lord and vindication from God his Savior." Psalm 24:3-5 Ky just has this way about him that is so pure and innocent. His wonderful questions are such a reflection of this. He looks up at you with those big crystal blue eyes and you can't help but to see goodness. You can't help but to imagine what looking in the eyes of Jesus might be like. In my heart I can't imagine it being far off then lookin in the eyes of my dear sweet boy......

Cale....

I wanted to write a little something about each of our children. Being that Cale is our oldest and because we also celebrated his birthday this week I thought it would make sense to start with him. However, I have been attempting to write about him this entire week and it has been very difficult. For the life of me I couldn't figure out why, as words usually come easily to me especially when it comes to my family. Finally it hit me. There is just so much to say.... I could literally write a novel about this child and the circumstances of his life without skipping a beat and probably still wouldn't get everything in there. The crazy thing is that he is only 11 years old!

I could tell you about the miracle of his birth and how hard he had to fight to even be here with us today. I could tell you about his stay in the NICU, how he had to have a tracheotomy tube put in at 5 days old which he had for the first 14 months of his life or how he has had six surgeries so far. I could tell you the fancy names of his diagnosis'. I could go on and on about the many times he has proven different doctors and health care providers wrong but as I think of all of those things now they just don't seem to matter as much as they once did.

Sure, those things are all apart of his life and always will be. Sure, we are still dealing with some of the medical issues that he was born with and will continue to deal with those for the next several year. It just seems like such an injustice to let ourselves be consumed by all those things when those are not the things that represent Cale. Those are just things that have happened to Cale, that is not who Cale is.

My goal as a mom is that when you look at my son you see what a fine young man he is growing into. That you see how caring and polite that he is. When you talk to him you immediately realize how brilliant he is as he can definitely carry on an intelligent conversation with the best of them. Most of all, I hope that when you see Cale you also see Christ because at the very core of Cale you will find that his faith and his deep belief in God are what matter most to him. If you see that in our son then Jason and I have been successful parents. Most importantly we have honored God in how He has called us to raise him. There is nothing else we could ask for as parents or nothing else that could bring us greater joy.

When I think of Cale the following scripture comes to mind. "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11. I know many of you are familiar with this scripture as it is a popular one, especially around graduation time. But as I think of Cale this scripture takes on a whole new meaning. The things that Cale has had to go through have been difficult to say the least but from the moment that child was born I knew that he was in God's hands. Now, eleven years later he is living that out. We cannot wait to see what the future holds for him or how God decides to use him and we just thank God for "prospering" him.

We are the Gressman's.....

We are the Gressman's....Jason-31, Andrea-31, Cale-10, Kylind "Ky"-4, Creide-2, and Kearyn-2 months. Yes, we are a family of 6 which from the reactions I get in the grocery store seems to be something of a rarity these days.

The first thing and most important thing we can say about our family is that we absolutely love the Lord. We do our best to serve as a family whenever we can. Our family motto: "Serve One as one." The story of how God revealed that to us will be told at another time.

Jason is a youth pastor and I work part-time for the church as an event coordinator. We love both positions. The kids that God brings into our lives each week on either a Wednesday or Thursday night for youth group are absolutely amazing. We do our best to love them as Christ loves us. This task is easy and challenging all at the same time but we embrace it as we know God has called us to do this.

Our children are amazing as well. Truly miracles from God and each and everyday I look at them and I am overwhelmed that God would entrust them to me. I am so grateful that God chose me to be their mom. I am truly left speechless and overwhelmed. Each and everyday I feel so blessed to have the husband that I have, the three handsome boys that I call "my sons" and my beautiful baby girl. Yes indeed, I am blessed.

We are the Gressman's.....

The First...

Since this is my first blog it got me thinking of some of the other "firsts" in our family. Like the first time I knew I was going to marry Jason or the first time I laid eyes on each of my children. The first time we found out we were actually going to have a girl (yeah, that was a scarey one!) and the list goes on and on. It doesn't seem that anyone of these firsts is any less important than the next but instead, all woven neatly together to create our family. The Gressman family of which I feel so blessed to be apart of. In fact, I would not trade it for the world! And as we travel along this road doing "life" as only the Gressman's can do it I hope you laugh with us, learn with us, grow with us, and yes, even sometimes cry with us but most of all enjoy life with us. Thank you for being apart of this "first" with us.