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13.
It seems so much bigger than 12.
Another milestone.
Another bitter/sweet moment.

My oldest boy turned 13 this last month.
And although I am a little late with this post.
I still wanted to take a minute to reflect on my boy young man.

He is just a sweet kid.
We are so blessed.

He is smart.
Funny.
He loves God.
And just loves life.

I cannot imagine my life without him.
And boy, has he been through some stuff.

When he was born he couldn't breath on his own.
It took them 6 hours to get a breathing tube in him.
During that time he stopped breathing countless times.
Each time he would fight back in order to stay in this world.
For that, I am beyond words grateful.

He was little.
Only 5 pounds 15 ounces.
But his strength was indescribable.
To this day.
13 years later.
I am still left in awe.

He has shown me so much about myself.
About being a mom.
About being strong.
How you keep fighting.
No matter what.

He has had 6 surgeries.
A trach for the first 14 months of his life.
Countless doctors appointments.
Therapy of every kind.
He has been misdiagnosed 5 different times.
Yet, he presses on.
No matter what.
And if you look at him now you would never guess that he has had to endure so much.
He is just so solid.

Until now I have never really talked about this openly.
Not because I am ashamed.
I am actually the opposite.
Not because it was hard.
It was hard but God did so much through it.
But because I never wanted it to define who he was.
Not as a boy and not as the man he is growing into.
I never wanted people to expect any less of him because they knew he had some challenges in the beginning.
I wanted that God given internal strength to shine through no matter what.
And it does.




I will never forget the day he was born.
After taking hours to stabilize him they took him to another hospital that had a NICU.
I had to stay behind.
It was one of the hardest nights of my life.
I just wanted to hold my boy and I couldn't.

It was about 11pm.
His doctor called from the NICU.
He told me that he was stabilized and doing okay.
But that is when he said it.
He said, "This boy is going to be a smart one."
He said he could see it in his eyes.
How right that man was.

He is brilliant.
Wise beyond his years.
And he truly loves to learn.

I am so excited to see how God uses him.
Right now he thinks he may want to be a historian.
A professor somewhere perhaps.
Perhaps a biblical historian.

Whatever he does.
I know he is going to be amazing.
Because he already is amazing.
Each day I thank the Lord for him.
And celebrate these bitter/sweet moments.

Each day he is one step closer to heading out on his own to truly embrace what God has for him.
For that I am so excited.
I am so excited for him.
But I know it will be hard when he is not under the same roof.
It is all just bitter/sweet.

For today I will cherish.
As I know tomorrow will come sooner than I want it to.
And then tomorrow I will rejoice.
For I know I was deliberate in the way I cherished today.

Sunday Scripture: {1 Corinthians 16:13}

So, my dear brothers and sisters, be strong and immovable. Always work enthusiastically for the Lord, for you know that nothing you do for the Lord is ever useless.

~ 1 Corinthians 16:13, NLT

Road to Recovery: Step 1

Now that I know I won't need anymore treatment, my mind has shifted to the road of recovery. This has become very important to me. Not only do I need to get my physical condition back to where I was before I diagnosed - but it actually needs to be even better.

There is a lot riding on this. My risk for a secondary cancer is definitely a factor. No, I cannot let that worry consume my thoughts but I do need do my part to reduce this risk factor wherever I can.

So, today I will start physical therapy. This was a recommendation from my oncologist and one that I am grateful for. I hope that they will be the first step that I need in order for me to get my strength back. I am pretty much at zero right  now and it just can't be that way. I need to be strong once again so I can take care of my family and my self.

I will let you know how it goes and let you know about some other things that I will be implementing in the next few weeks.

I hope you all are having a very blessed week.

Andrea

The "Official" Cancer Update & Prayer Request

So, we were so overjoyed at the news that I am now a "cancer survivor" that I realized I never did a complete update on my situation. I know there are some of you who are wanting to know what is going on exactly so here it is...

As far as the PET scan is concerned I am at what they call a "complete response" - which meas that there is not any cancer being detected.

I do, however, have a spot in my chest. Evidently it is an enlarged lymph node and I guess this is common for the type of Hodgkin's Lymphoma that I had. So, they will basically just watch this spot until it goes away or if it doesn't go away I guess they will just keep watching it for the rest of my life.

I have my next CT scan on 2/20 and then meet with my oncologist a week or so after that. If I get a clear scan then, my oncologist will let me get my port out. That will be a happy day because this thing honestly drives me crazy.

From there I will see my oncologist every 3 month with a scan every 6 months. Once I hit the 2 year mark my risk for the HL to come back goes down significantly. When I hit 5 years it goes down even more. In 8 years they will start watching me closely for breast cancer as my risk for that is up due to the radiation.

So, if you would like to continue to pray for me I would of course appreciate that. Please pray that my scans continue to be clear and that the spot in my chest just goes away so we don't have to worry about that.

Anyway, that is the situation for now. It really does feel so good to know that I won't have to have anymore treatment. I really don't know what to do with myself right now but I am sure I will figure something out. As of now, I am just trying to give myself the rest that I need. They say that it takes just as long to recover as it did to go through treatment so I am looking at another 8 months or so in order to get back to normal.

Thanks again for all of the prayers and other support so many of you have offered over this past year. We couldn't have done this without you and, of course, without God. For He receives all of the glory for giving me the strength and will to get to this point and for placing so many wonderful people in my life to help us in our time of need. I am truly grateful for each and every second HE has given me. They are a precious gift.

Blessings and Love,
Andrea

Day 20: Praying for Strength

Today was another really good day. I did a lot of writing today. Believe it or not I actually do a lot of writing that doesn't even make it on here. I guess I am trying to get in as much as I can before my next treatment.

I can't believe it has been nearly two weeks since my first treatment. Only 5 1/2 months to go. Each day that I feel good, I am grateful.

My mental preparation for Wednesday is starting to increase. I am feeling a bit more anxious about it. The unknown is still hard for me to deal with. I know how it is to go through it once but I can't help to wonder if it is going to be worse this time? I hold on to the thought that in my weakness God will provide me the strength I need to get through it, even if He has to carry me himself.

Some of our good friends came over for dinner tonight. It is good to have times of fellowship like that. That truly helps so much.

If you could all pray for strength for me I would really appreciate it. It takes a lot for me to get through what I need to get through in order for me to feel okay again. Thanks guys, I appreciate it!

Funny of the Days:

1.) I am doing some dishes today and I look over at Creide and I kid you not he winks at me. And it wasn't just a little wink, it was one of those exaggerated winks. It was so cute!

2.) Jason was doing something outside and when he came in Creide said, "Dad, I kept an eye on your girl for you." It was so funny. That is a joke that Jason always goes back and forth with him about. Jason always tells him to get away from "his girl". Creide always giggles that cute little giggle and says something like, "I am going to kiss your girl daddy."