Funny of the Day: {Don't Say Bad Words}

This is another story involving my ever-so-funny Creidey-bear (as we call him).

Today he comes to me crying....

Creide: Mom, Ky called me something bad.
Me: (Long sigh in preparation for what was said) What did he call you?
Creide: Bottom Britches
Me: Bottom Britches???
Creide: Yes, and I didn't like it.
Me: Is "Bottom Britches" bad?
Creide: Yes!
Me: What does "Bottom Britches" mean?
Creide: It means that I don't like you and your a meaner (The word "meaner" has be classified as a bad word in our house by Creide as well).
Me: Okay.

Moral of the story.... Don't call someone "Bottom Britches".

Bumper Stickers: Use With Caution

I was actually taking my oldest to track practice the other day when I saw a bumper sticker. You know the kind... it was a political bumper sticker.... and let's just say the other driver and I did not see eye-to-eye on who we should vote for. Immediately thoughts popped into my head like, "How can people really want to vote for that person?" (I have shared on here before that I actually do follow politics closely so I get a wee bit passionate about the subject.) I actually felt my blood pressure raise up a few notches as a result. So then I did what every person does when they are in this situation... I passed the guy to see if I knew him or not.

Later on as I was driving home I saw more bumper stickers. I saw another political one.... this time it was representing someone that I wouldn't mind voting for. What popped into my head? "Wow, I bet that is a really cool person!"

Then I saw another bumper sticker. I have no idea what this one said because the writing was so small that you would have to get out a magnifying glass to read it. Honestly, if you are designing a bumper sticker wouldn't you go through some quality testing? Like put it on a car and back up 15 feet to see if you can actually read it? Personally, I do not like people that close to my backside to read a bumper sticker with microscopic writing.

Then there are the bumper stickers that are written in some kind of code that 99% of the population doesn't understand. I know this is most likely done intentionally for the 1% who do understand it but it still provides a degree of irritation for those of us who don't.

Then there are the ones that are totally inappropriate. Like I want my children reading things or seeing inappropriate pictures while we are driving. Like the little boy peeing on everything. Do boys really need any encouragement in that area? I have three little ones and one big one so I feel qualified in answering this - No! They don't!

So, as I continued to ponder all of the bumper stickers I had read on my drive I couldn't help but to have a little more respect for the bumper sticker. It was responsible for bringing out many emotions in me.

First there was irritation from the bumper sticker of the guy who doesn't have the same voting views as I do. Then there was the joy from the bumper sticker who I did agree in voting for. Then there is the irritation I felt when I couldn't read the micro-bumper sticker and the inferiority I felt when I couldn't crack the "code" of the secret hand shake club. Then there was the irritation of the inappropriate bumper stickers giving my boys all kinds of new ideas there. Wow! You really have to be careful before you decide on a bumper sticker now don't you!

As for me, you might ask..... Well, I am bumper sticker free. I am just not ready for the bumper sticker commitment. But if I were to choose a bumper sticker, these are a few ideas I came up with....

Source: freewebs.com via Sabrina on Pinterest

This one I thought was hilarious! Yes, we homeschool our children and the #1 criticism we get for homeschooling our children (even though we never really ask these people their opinion - they just offer it up freely) is that they will be "unsocialized" or that that they "won't know the world". Just one point I would like to make here, talk to my children before you label them as "unsocialized". They can carry on a thoughtful conversation with anyone at any time. But this for a whole other blog :-).

Source: cafepress.com via Jennifer on Pinterest

This would be in honor of all of the marathon runners in our life and the 26.2 bumper stickers they proudly sport. I have a deep respect for you all but I am just not there. :-)

Source: goodknits.com via Art,LikeBread on Pinterest

I coudn't resist this one :-)



So, what's on your bumper?

Accomplishments: #2 {Sibling Harmony}

The other day I was standing at my kitchen window watching my three younger children play outside and I could not believe my eyes. They all three were actually getting along! Have you ever had one of those moments where you just have to run for the camera and take a picture to document the moment? This was one of those moments.

It is not a rarity for two of my children to get along at the same time.... but three...well that is truly something special. The most incredible thing about this situation is that Creide and Kearyn were actually getting along. He was actually pushing her on the swing and she was loving it. :-)

We call Creide the "equalizer" in our family and we are actually very thankful for that. You see, Cale and Ky will stop the world to make their baby sister happy. What Kearyn wants, Kearyn gets. But Creide is different. He still doesn't see what is so special about this little girl. All he knows is that he used to be the baby of the family and now he is not. There is no special favor deserved for such a betrayal.

But this particular afternoon was different.... As I look at these pictures I feel so much joy in my heart. I see joy on my children's faces and once again I realize how blessed they are to have each other. How blessed is this little girl to be able to grow up with her three big brothers watching over her? God is good.

One Day I Will Shine Again

Have you ever had a blog all written out in your head but when you go to write it thing turns out completely different? If you are not a blogger perhaps you can relate with something else. Anyway, that is totally what happened today. I had it all planned out and then God went and had to change it -and in the process He totally brought me to my knees.

I honestly hesitate to share this with you just because it is forcing me to be so very open but I know that when you all email me or make comments the number one comment is how you appreciate my honesty. So there is that and then there is the fact that this may help someone else out there so how can I not share?

Basically I had this update planned in my head... that the Shingles were nearly gone, my daughter was nearly better (for those of you who don't know she has been super sick with the cough, fever, etc. since about Thursday - and this has been a rough one), and that my port removal wounds were nearly healed.

Then I was going to go on and talk about how I felt like I was basically having to start over again with my energy level and how it seems that anytime I start to make some progress I get knocked down again and have to claw my way back up.

That is when this Toby Mac song popped into my head. I like Toby Mac. I like how upbeat his music is, oh, and of course that he is a Christian performer. My son's also like him and I have some very fun memories of Toby Mac songs playing in our home and watching all of them dance in our living room. Okay, so I danced too since we are being honest here - how can you not dance to Toby Mac?. :-)

Anyway, I went to find the lyrics for the song - Get Back Up Again by Toby Mac - because there was a very specific line I was thinking of... "You may be knocked down, But not out forever" but that is when it happened. I started reading the entire lyrics to the song as it played and I just started crying. Yes, I cried at a Toby Mac song. It was like it took me right back to the beginning when I had just been diagnosed and took me all the way through my battle to where I am today.  I posted the lyrics here below so you can read them for yourself.....

You turned away when I looked you in the eye, 

And hesitated when I asked if you were alright, 

Seems like you're fighting for you life, 

But why? oh why? 

Wide awake in the middle of your nightmare, 

You saw it comin' but it hit you outta no where, 

And there's always scars 

When you fall back far 

We lose our way, 

We get back up again 

It's never too late to get back up again, 

{One day you will shine again,} 

You may be knocked down, 

But not out forever, 

Lose our way, 

We get back up again, 

So get up, get up, 

{You gonna shine again,} 

Never too late to get back up again, 

You may be knocked down, 

But not out forever 

(May be knocked down but not out forever) 

You're rolled out at the dawning of the day 

Heart racin' as you made you little get away, 

It feels like you've been runnin' all your life 

But, why? Oh why? 

So you've pulled away from the love that would've been there, 

You start believin' that your situation's unfair 

But there's always scars, 

When you fall back far 

We lose our way, 

We get back up again 

Never too late to get back up again, 

{One day, you gonna shine again,} 

You may be knocked down but not out forever, 

Lose our way, we get back up again, 

So get up, get up 

{You gonna shine again} 

It's never too late, to get back up again 

You may be knocked down, but not out forever, 

May be knocked down, but not out forever! 

This is love callin', love callin', out to the broken, 

This is love callin'. 

This is love callin', love callin', out to the broken 

This is love callin'. 

This is love callin', love callin', 

I am so broken 

This is love callin' love callin 

Lose our way, (way way way ay ay ay) 

We get back up, (get back up again) 

It's never too late (late late late ate ate ate) 

You may be knocked down but not out forever! 

 Lose our way, 

We get back up again, 

So get up get up 

{You gonna shine again} 

Never too late to get back up again 

You may be knocked down, 

But not out forever, 

This is love (lose our way) callin' love callin' (get back up again) 

To the broken 

This is love (never too late) callin' (may be knocked down but not out forever) 

This is love (lose our way) callin' love callin' (we get back up again) 

To the broken 

This is love (never too late) callin' (may be knocked down but not out forever) 

This is love callin' love callin' 

Out to the broken, 

This is love callin'....

I put some of the lines that really stuck in my heart in bold and as you can see there was one that really hit me.... 

{One day, you gonna shine again,} 

I feel that is what I have not been able to do since I was diagnosed - shine. Shine for Jesus. It took every ounce of energy I had to get through treatment and now it takes every ounce of energy I have to get up in the morning and take care of my kids that I have forgotten what it is like to truly shine. 

Please don't get me wrong - this is not a crisis of my faith. My faith was solid going into cancer and it was solid coming out of cancer. In fact, the other day I had a realization that I did not discover my faith through cancer as so many do, I discovered myself and who God truly wants me to be. Now it is all about living that out and finishing the discovery.

To me, the lyrics of this song was a message of hope that I so desperately needed and the crazy thing is that I didn't even realize I needed it. It is a promise to me that things will be okay and even though it will take time and I may be knocked down 1000 more times.....One day, I will shine again. 

Be careful the next time you listen to a Toby Mac song - you never know what may happen. May you all be blessed and encouraged in the Lord today and always.

Blessings,

Andrea

Accomplishments: {Ready, Set, Swing!}

Do you remember when you learned to swing? I do not remember the exact moment but I do remember the freedom I felt once I did achieve this accomplishment.

I no longer had to rely on the generosity of others to give me a push. I could swing for as long and as high as I wanted to. I remember closing my eyes and pretending I was flying - the cool summer breeze hitting my face as I moved back and forth. I loved to swing.

Ky accomplished the art of swinging solo this past week and as I watched him move back and forth pumping his legs I imagined that he too was feeling some of the same things that I felt when I was his age.

I watched the intensity on his face - intensity mixed with joy and pride. He had done it. He mastered the swing.


 

I am Now Port Free :-)

As mentioned in my last post, I got my port out today. :-) And it was one of the creepiest experiences of my life. I was obviously all numbed up. The doc was really good at giving me more numbing stuff the couple of times I did feel pain. That was nice of him. But it was still very weird.

The best way to describe it was like when you run your nails down a chalk board and grind your teeth at the same time. Yeah, creepy huh? It was just super awkward and very strange to be awake during the experience.

He of course could not get the port out of the original incision so he had to cut a bigger one. The procedure took about an hour. Evidently you have to sew the port to the person when you put it in. I did not know that because I was knocked out when he put it in. He apparently did a very good job at attaching it to me because it took a great deal of time to un-attach it from me.

I am now super sore. I had forgotten how sore I was when they put it in - until now. Now I remember. My cute little precious baby girl is not helping much either. She still views me as her own personal jungle gym and is completely unaware of any hardship that I am enduring at the moment. The story of being a mom. :-) I wouldn't trade it for anything.

I will share more about my day tomorrow. Including some photo opportunities. :-) No, not of the port removal. That would be what I like to call an "over-share".

For now I am all doped up on Tylenol and ready for bed. Yeah, I go straight for the hard stuff. ;-)

Be blessed!
Andrea

A Big Day Today....

During my update of my last scan results I mentioned that I would be getting my port out.............. Well, today is that day!!!!

I almost missed the boat on this one - at least temporarily. Since I wasn't feeling well I waited a couple of days before I called to make the appointment. So when I called last week they informed me that the doc was going on vacation for two weeks and Tuesday (today) was the very last appointment that I could get or I would have had to wait until he got back. Waiting wouldn't have killed me. After all, I have had this thing for 13 months now - what's 2 more weeks. But it is something I want done pretty badly and I was happy that they had one last appointment for me. :-) 

So, 3:30pm today I will be saying goodbye to my port and will finally be free of all foreign devises in my body. Fortunately they can just remove it from the office and it is not necessary to be admitted into the hospital like when they put it in. Pretty excited about that. Pretty excited about the whole thing actually. :-) 

I hope you are all having a very blessed week this week. 

Blessings,

Andrea

Friday's Funny of the Day

This morning Creide reported that he had a bad dream last night. When J asked him what his dream was about he said...

Daddy, it was about werewolves, lions, and kangaroos. And those kangaroos were wild!!!


I hope you all have a very blessed Friday and a great weekend!

{Funny of the Day}

This is another {Funny of the Day} brought to you by my little Creide. At 4 he is constantly cracking us up. So here it is...

Creide: My brain is having hiccups.

Me: ??????

Seriously, what do you say to that? And the deeper question - has this been my problem all along and it finally took a 4 year old to identify it? Very interesting. 

I Now Have Shingles....Awesome

I noticed a couple of red bumps the other day on my back. There were maybe 4-5 of them - no big deal but still weird because they were in this perfectly straight line. I mentioned it to J and that was it.

The next day there were a couple of more. I thought it was something I wore that caused a reaction. I don't use anything but natural cleansers in my house so I knew it couldn't be anything like that. But again dismissed it.

This morning I woke up and itched my back and realized that they were still there and now there were like 15 of them. Then it hit me. I bet I have shingles.

Why my mind would go there or even know to go there - I don't know. I researched it once upon a time and remembered that they always occur in a strip on one side of the body. (Yes. Evidently my brain does remember things like that. Could be helpful in a trivia game someday - you never know.) So, I immediately Googled "shingles" cause that is just what I do. Big mistake.

They were the most frightening pictures ever. My little 3 inch x 1/2 inch section looks like nothing compared to what others deal with. But this did prompt me to go to the doctor immediately because I did not want to turn out like those pictures. Yikes!

Sure enough, I do have shingles. I was like the 3rd patient in 2 days that the doc has diagnosed so evidently it is going around and because of the cancer and my weak immune system of course it throws me into a higher risk bracket to get it. Oh the perks of cancer. They do not cease to amaze me.

The good thing is that I am not having the severe symptoms that a lot of people have. Thank you God. I think this is because I paid so dearly when I had chicken pox when I was a kid. I was a late bloomer getting the dreaded red bumps. I was 10 - practically elderly.

Then, everyone knew the only good thing about getting them was that you got to miss school, right? Wrong. I got mine over Christmas break. My Christmas Eve was marked with a record high fever and Calamine lotion. Then I was all better by the end of break. I begged my mom to let me miss one day just so I could be one of the cool kids. But she said no. Thanks Mom. Still hanging onto that one 22 years later.

Anyway, the doc put me on a heavy duty antibiotic. I have to take 16 pills a day. I didn't even take that many during cancer treatment. Oh well. If they work it is is worth it. :-)

Stay tuned... I have a "Funny of the Day" that I will be posting in a while. I could post it here but that would ruin the suspense.

{The Sickies}

So the day after we got our good news from my last scan, J came down with a head cold and then shared it with me on Friday. I have not been able to do much since then as it has just completely wiped me out.

I have been trying to give us all the good stuff to get us healthy again but it hasn't worked so well. At least the kids haven't gotten it (yet). I think baby K was coming down with it but she ended up taking a 3 hour nap today and I that seemed to help her feel a lot better.

Anyway, I just wanted to see if you could all pray for a speedy recover for us and that our kids don't get it. I appreciate it. :-)

I also wanted to leave you with a bit of scripture for this week. Enjoy!

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever

~ Hebrews 13:8, NLT 

Blessings,
Andrea

Updates - Scan and Overall

Scan Update

Sorry for the delay in updating all of you. After my appointment this a.m. I grabbed lunch and by the time I got home with my kids I was absolutely exhausted so I attempted to rest a bit between adhering to the needs of a 6, 4, and 21 month old. Anyway, I feel like I somewhat got my second wind for the day. (This is a long day for us as Jason doesn't get home from work until late tonight.)

Anyway, the doc appointment went well. The spot in my chest that they are watching is smaller but not gone. Ultimately they would like to see it go away completely so I will definitely be praying that it does.  I got some of the details of my future care ironed out for the most part - what type of testing I will need and when. These are just general guidelines of course, it will ultimately depend on how I do.

Overall Update

Overall I am doing pretty well I think. On my good days I feel like I am operating on about 50% of my optimal energy level. When I have a bad day it feels like I go back down to the 10-15% range and that is pretty rough.

I am now 4 months past treatment and they say that it will take at least 6 more months to feel "back to normal" again. I find that having patience to allow my body to recover is one of my biggest struggles. I just want to feel better already!

Another hard part, as I have said before, is that my outsides don't match my insides. I can feel really bad on the inside but people just see that I look so much better than I did during treatment, so they think I am all better. (Really, it is not hard to look better when you looked like you were dying before.)

It takes a lot of honesty on my part to admit that I am not "super-woman" and that I am still struggling. My first instinct is to say, "Oh no, I am fine. Yep, feel great! Want to see me do a back-flip?" Then wind up in bed for 3 days because of that back-flip. :-)

It is also funny because I can now really see this in other people who are hurting or going through treatment as well. I can see that they really don't feel good at all - even though they are putting on a brave face and it has made me much more sympathetic to those situations.

Anyway, enough rambling. Thank you all for the prayers! Love you all!

Oh, I almost forgot (and I really did almost forget silly me after making such a big deal about this...)

I do get my port out! 

I don't have a date yet but I will definitely let you know. And then I think a "PORT PARTY" is in order.... Anyone want to help me plan it???

Blessings, 
Andrea

A Heartbreaking Story....

As I wrote earlier tonight, I am preparing for my news tomorrow and admittedly I was feeling a little bit "blah" getting ready to face another day of the post-cancer life. I was surfing through the blogs I keep up on tonight passing the time before my brain would finally be ready to turn off and welcome sleep. I went to a blog of a girl who is currently going through chemo right now. You can find her at Little Blue Boo . Even though I can feel every single thing she is going through right now to the very core of my body, she has an amazing attitude about it and I love it.

However, today she had a little blurb about another family that she is doing a fund-raiser for. I just could not resist reading about them even though I knew it was going to be sad. It became a sharp reminder that no matter how bad things are for you - someone else is always going through something worse. You can read more about the family here.

The mama was diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma in January 2011 (I was diagnosed Feb. 2011). But here is the kicker - their baby girl was diagnosed with another type of cancer in May of 2011 at 11 months old (she was just a few weeks younger than my baby girl). Their baby girl passed away in Dec. 2011 at 18 months old. My heart literally breaks for them. I cannot imagine what they have or are going through.

I remember standing in my kitchen just a few days after my diagnosis staring off into nothingness. That is when it hit me - I was so grateful it was me and not one of my children. I literally thanked God in that very moment.

You see, I remember what it was like going through all of the surgeries and medical stuff with my oldest boy, Cale. I remember sitting in a rocking chair, holding his tiny little body, and praying that God would give me his pain. He and I did that for the first 14 months of his life (4 surgeries and a tracheotomy tube for those 14 months) and then 2 more surgeries later on and it was the most helpless feeling I have ever experienced in my life. As a mom I was supposed to make things better for him and I couldn't. All I could do was hold him and love him...

12 years later it still takes my breath away and I am so grateful that he made it through it. I cannot imagine life without him.

Anyway, I just felt convicted to share a little bit about this other family. I will be lifting them up in prayer and thought maybe you could too.

Blessings,
Andrea

Pre-Test Result Jitters

Tomorrow is another big day for me. I find out if my scan results are clear again. If they are, I should be able to get my port out in the near future which makes me super happy. If not - well then that will mean treatment of some kind but I really haven't let my mind go there.

I have detected a pattern to my testing and results. This has been the longest I have had to wait for results. Usually I find out in a week or less but I had my scan on Feb. 20 and I will get the results tomorrow so that is over two weeks. However, I actually do not even think about the testing or the results until about 2 days before I have either. That is when the jitters start to set in a bit and I have to be much more diligent about not letting the "what-if's" kick in. There is just no point in going there. It does nothing for today and certainly does nothing for tomorrow - except rob my joy.

So, I busy myself with a thousand other things that deserve my energy more than worrying does. I truly have gotten much better at this over the past year that is for sure. Learning to surrender is never easy but is well worth it.

If you happen to think of it, if you could pray for me tomorrow a.m. that would be delightful.

Blessings,
Andrea

Sunday Scripture: Hebrews 13:16

And don't forget to do good and to share with those in need. These are the sacrifices that please God.

~ Hebrews 13:16, NLT


Happy Sunday to you all. I hope you were all refreshed today and can start your week off with rejuvenation. May you all have a very blessed week. 


Blessings,
Andrea

Funny of the Day

It's me again! Sorry for the lack of contact - in response to the question one of my friends always asks me when I go underground - no, I have not been abducted by aliens. I am still just trying to figure out how to do this recover from cancer with four kids thing... Just when I think I am starting to get some stuff figured out something rocks the Gressman boat and I feel like I have to start over. I am not complaining (or meaning to sound "complainy") it has just been a process.

Anywhoo... I do have a funny of the day for you that I could not resist sharing. It is actually from my 6 year old. He is my quiet one and most like his daddy. Thoughtful, sweet, and definitely a protector. Yep, sounds just like my hubs through and through. 

He wants to be a soldier when he grows up and he loves policemen, although when he sees them in public he gets really shy. We were in a nearby town a few months back eating at a Subway and a couple of them came in to eat as well. He stared at them for the longest time and finally my hubby took him over there to introduce him. They ended up letting him sit in both of their cars and run the lights and all. They did draw the line when he started asking about their shotgun that was installed in the front seat. He actually asked them if it was their rocket launcher. LOL. It was a cool experience for him nonetheless. 

He is amazing with his baby sister. I know I have shared the story of when she was born and he said, "I am her 'tector." He will stop in his tracks to help her in some way. The other day I heard him say to his little brother, "We don't let Kearyn (baby sister) cry. Whatever she wants - give it to her." Lord have mercy. 

Anyway, for this "funny of the day" I have to share my secret shame. I have a slight obsession with shows like Forensic Files, Cold Cases, etc. In fact, if God wouldn't have called me to be a wife and a mother that is probably what I would be doing but I like where He put me instead. 

So, I was watching an all new type of forensics show that I found on Netflix (yay me!). My 6 year old came in at the end and heard that the bad man was sentenced to 100 years in prison. My boy's eyes got wide and he said, "100 years, wow mom, that is a long time. Will he even live that long?" I explained the situation and said no, that he would just serve the remainder of his life in prison. He said, "Well, do they feed them or do they starve." I said no, they feed them. He said, "Do they feed them broccoli?" I couldn't help but to laugh at that one. In a 6 year old's mind there is not greater punishment than going to jail AND having to eat broccoli.

Happy Friday!

Andrea