Emotions...

For the past 7 months - every since I was diagnosed - I have just been super emotional every time I have gone to church. I am not a "crier" by definition - or at least I didn't use to be.

I remember the very first movie I ever cried at... "My Girl". For those of you who have seen it - you know what I am talking about - you would have to be made of Teflon not to cry at a movie like that. (And for all you youth group kids reading this I don't even want to hear about how you have never heard of such and ancient movie. No Googling it and making comments on how it is SO OLD and absolutely NO COMMENTS on my age. I have worked hard for my 32 years and I am proud of them! LOL) Anyway, I still remember my friend Tanya and I seeing it together and both crying during the movie and then pretending like we didn't cry afterwards. Why - I don't know. Ha! I still laugh when I think about that.

I remember my emotions really kicking up a notch when I became a mom and I think with each child I have become more emotional... and then the cancer, well that has put me over the top. I am not emotional out of sadness - it is just like I feel so loved. I feel grateful. I feel overwhelmed. Sure there are times where I get scared - I am human of course. There are times when the doubt starts to creep in and I don't know if I am really doing the right thing - if I am really hearing God's voice but then I just pray some more and God brings me back to where I need to be. Once again I find that peace and I just know he is going to heal me.

Emotions use to scare me but they don't any more. I am grateful that I have them and that I get to experience a love that is so great that there are sometimes no words - only tears. I am grateful for a God that knows what I need even though I cannot explain it but instead only cry out to him.

If I could tell you one thing that I have been able to learn time and time again, it would be... don't be afraid to cry out to God. Wherever you are at... He will meet you there.

A Little Help From My Friends....Part 1

I wanted to share a couple of things that have just touched my heart recently. There have been so many things, I could literally blog for days and days but I just thought I would start with these for now.

My friend Autumn dropped a book of devotionals off for me at church recently, which Jason brought home for me yesterday. If you know me, you know I love devotionals. I think that my heart is drawn to the "real life" approach that devotionals often bring. Anyway, I am laying on the couch, tired and weary to say the least, and he hands me this leather bound book. It is one of those books that has a devotional for each specific day. I kid you not, I opened the book EXACTLY to February 15th. That isn't even the best part though... Here is what this little book of treasures had to say to me:

"Come to Me with all your weaknesses: physical, emotional, and spiritual. Rest in the comfort of My Presence, remembering that nothing is impossible with Me. 


Pry your mind away from your problems so you can focus your attention on Me. Recall that I am able to do immeasurably more than all you ask or imagine. Instead of trying to direct Me to do this and that, seek to attune yourself to what I am already doing. 


When anxiety attempts to wedge its way into your thoughts, remind yourself that I am your Shepherd. The bottom lin is that I am taking care of you; therefore, you needn't be afraid of anything. Rather than trying to maintain control over your life, abandon yourself to My will. Though this may feel frightening-even dangerous, the safest place to be is in My will." 


At the very least I felt as this had been written for me by God himself for that very moment in time. It never ceases to amaze me that he is ready and willing to meet us right where we are, despite where we are. All we have to do is turn to him.

There was another factor that I was extremely thankful for in all of this. My friend Autumn. If she wouldn't have gotten this book for me, I wouldn't have received this message from God - at least not in that way and this was a very powerful way for me.

I have been so thankful for all my friends and family that have done things just like this in order for me to hear, see, and witness God's love for me first hand. These are truly the things that keep me going. Love you all!

~Andrea

P.S. For those of you who are interested in getting a copy of your own devotional mentioned above it is called Jesus Calling - Enjoying Peace In His Presence by Sarah Young. Click here to order a copy of yourself.