Day 28: The Image

This morning I woke up and felt like the cold I was battling yesterday had gotten worse. This was very disappointing to me as I feel like it is robbing me of my "good days" before my next chemo treatment. Jason gave me some, what I thought was Dayquil, which actually was Nyquil. I was sure glad my sister and brother-in-law were here because if I even sniff a Nyquil bottle I am out like a light.

My sister took great care of the baby and my brother-in-law, well, he got stuck with the boys. I always feel bad because they love him dearly and like to climb all over him. But he is patient with them and I appreciate that. 

As I started to write this I thought to myself, I really don't have anything to write about. This is amazing in itself because I always have something to write about but for whatever the reason, I just didn't feel like I had anything worthy to say tonight. Then I started thinking about my day and I realized that maybe I don't have something to say, but God does......

I thought about how another dear friend of mine came over today and we always have a great discussion about God. I always learn so much from her and today was no different. We were talking about what I have gone through so far and I mentioned that one of the first images that God brought to my mind when this all started was the crucifixion of Jesus. I literally could see him being beaten and battered, his blood spilling, the crown of thorns being pressed upon his head, and then Jesus himself carrying his own cross as he staggered towards calvary. I could see it all so vividly as if I were there. As I think of it now I cannot help but to cry. He did nothing wrong, he lived a perfect life, and out of love he went through this for us. 

When I told her of this image, she just smiled at me. She said yes, that makes total sense for God to show me that one because He was saying that He could understand my pain. He could understand what I was going to have to go through. He too had suffered. Tonight as I cry out to Him and tell him that I am sick and tired of being sick and tired He can say with love that He understands my pain and that it is going to be okay and I believe him. 

I don't know if this helps anyone out there but it certainly helped me to place myself back in the loving arms of my Father in Heaven. When times get tough it is so easy to try to separate ourselves from Him and just feel sorry for ourselves but that isn't what He wants. He wants us to cling to Him. 

Prayer Request:

If you could pray for my health to be restored as well as the health of my children I would really appreciate it. 

Praise Report:

The little girl that I had requested prayer for earlier has received a clean bill of health. Nothing at all is wrong with her, praise God!!! 

Thank you all for continuing to read this, even on my "not-so-good days". Love you all!