Day 47: Barrel Monkeys & Pipe Cleaners

This has started to become increasingly difficult for my children to handle I am afraid. It is obvious that they are sick and tired of me being sick and tired. I noticed it more after treatment #3. During my "good week" it was like they were inseparable from me. If I was on the couch, they piled all around me on the couch as well. If I was in bed, they were all on the bed with me. It is like I have this heard of followers wherever I go. I obviously don't mind but it does hurt my heart that I can't do all the things I did with them before. I keep telling myself it is just a season but I am increasingly ready for this season to be over.

My life long hearts desire was to be a wife and a mother. However else God chose to use me, I was fine with. But first and foremost, I knew those were my two rolls above all else. It is hard right now to not be the wife and mother that I feel God has called me to be. It is hard for me to lay that down, even if it is just a season.

As I have shared, we have had so many offers of support and love - provided in so many ways - we are truly blessed. But one of my requests was that some of my friends get us some "quiet" activities for the boys to do while I was in bed recovering from my treatments. This way we could still spend time together and they wouldn't be tempted to jump around all over because I am pretty sore after my immunity booster shot. Anyway, several of my dear friends really took some time to get the boys some fun things and for that I am grateful.

One of our friends, Lisa, delivered a great big blue tub of stuff, which has now been dubbed the "activities bucket". The boys know that they can go get something out of the tub and then we can play with it together. Today, the two younger boys each picked something. Creide (who is 3) picked Barrel Monkeys and Ky (who is 5) picked pipe cleansers. I never knew you could have so much fun with Barrel Monkeys and pipe cleaners.

They had me building all kinds of things out of the pipe cleaners - things I didn't even know were possible. Each time I would give them something they would give me a "great job Mom!" and I knew I had done okay.

There is a lot about this cancer and chemo treatment that I would chose to forget if I could. The nausea that I have had to deal with throughout my treatment, the nasty taste that I get in my mouth for days and days, and the intense fatigue I have experienced - but this is a memory I will choose not to forget. Playing with Barrel Monkeys and pipe cleaners with my boys.