I am a little bit late in posting this tonight. I have been busy writing about a bazillion other things today. This is the first time I have really felt like writing in several days and it was good to get back into it.
I had a doctors appointment today, like every Wednesday, and several things happened that just left me so encouraged. While in with the doctor I made a comment that I was really hoping that I was 1/4 of the way done with my treatments (in the case that I would only need 8 treatments) and he replied by saying that was the way he was leaning as well. Now, this isn't a concrete statement and I will still have to wait another month to have my scan to really find out what the story is but I just left feeling so very encouraged. I have been praying about this very thing for several days now and I just felt God used that moment today to really confirm to me that I was on the right track in my thinking. These are the times when that Christian hope and faith kick in. Believing in something that you can't see and having a certainty about it that only God can give. Even now when I write about it I just want to jump up and down.
If I only have to have the 8 treatments, I would get done two weeks before my baby girl's first birthday. If I have to go the 12 treatments, I will have my last treatment the day after my 32nd birthday. It was so funny because just yesterday my oldest asked me what I wanted for my birthday and I told him, "not to have cancer anymore." At this moment I am truly overwhelmed with emotion at the thought of that. What a great birthday present that would be for both Kearyn and I! Yes, you will all be invited to come and rejoice with us!
The other encouraging thing was that my blood testing stuff all looked good as well. I don't know all of the technical terms yet but they said they looked really good and that is good enough for me. With me being sick the last couple of days I was kind of worried about that.
The last piece that I wanted to share with you was not encouraging. It was actually very humbling. There was a man in the waiting room and I struck up a conversation with him briefly as we both waited to go our respective ways. I asked him how long he had been having treatment for and he responded since 2004. My heart sank for him. 7 years of treatment.....it made me so embarrassed that I have even complained one bit about this whole process. I will have to have treatment for a fraction of the time compared to him yet here he was still pressing on knowing that there is still a lot worth living for here on this Earth. I pray that if I were faced with such adversity that I would be able to press on as that man has. I don't know if he was a believer or not, we didn't get that far into our conversation before he was called away, but I have to believe that there was an inner strength that was responsible for it all that only God could provide, whether the man realized it or not. May we all find that inner strength.
I have been overwhelmed once again by God's love for me. Every time I have gone to the doctors office he has set someone in my path to encourage me or motivate me in just the way I needed that day. It has been so amazing to walk this journey with God right there with me every step of the way and when I stumble he is there to help me up once again.
I just feel very compelled by the Lord to write this next part. I have been blogging about this journey in my life one day shy of a month now and there have been over 4,600 visits to this blog from 8 different countries. I know God is doing a mighty work through what is going on in my life right now and it is only because of His glory that I am able to do any of this. If it were up to my own strength I wouldn't have made it past day 1. He gives me the words and the inspiration to write every single post on here. I know out of that many people visiting there is someone out there that doesn't have a relationship with Christ and desperately needs it. As I am writing this the tears are literally streaming down my face as I just feel God so deliberately pressing this upon my heart. If anyone out there has not given their life to Christ or needs to recommit their life to Christ, do so today. Do it this second. I can tell you first hand that we do not know what the future holds.We don't know if we have 20 more years to live or 20 more minutes and there is no reason to live a minute longer without your Heavenly Father by your side. I cannot promise you life will be easy as a follower of Christ, you can see what my family and I are going through right now. But it is His strength that gets us through and it is because of Him and Him alone that I will be here to watch my children grow up.
I know there are a lot of you out there that have asked why this has happened to us. Some of you are even angry. Don't question, don't be angry. Just believe. We do and I don't regret any of this. Yes, it is hard and I don't like being sick but I do like seeing God change lives and I know He is doing that here.
If you have given your life recently or know of someone who has, I would love to pray for you or them. You can always contact me by emailing me at andreagressman@gmail.com If you know of someone who needs to hear this message, please don't hesitate to forward this onto them. God is good all the time and it is my heart to glorify Him through all of this and show others the love that He has shown me every step of the way. God bless you all.
In Christ,
Andrea
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