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Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Pre-Test Result Jitters

Tomorrow is another big day for me. I find out if my scan results are clear again. If they are, I should be able to get my port out in the near future which makes me super happy. If not - well then that will mean treatment of some kind but I really haven't let my mind go there.

I have detected a pattern to my testing and results. This has been the longest I have had to wait for results. Usually I find out in a week or less but I had my scan on Feb. 20 and I will get the results tomorrow so that is over two weeks. However, I actually do not even think about the testing or the results until about 2 days before I have either. That is when the jitters start to set in a bit and I have to be much more diligent about not letting the "what-if's" kick in. There is just no point in going there. It does nothing for today and certainly does nothing for tomorrow - except rob my joy.

So, I busy myself with a thousand other things that deserve my energy more than worrying does. I truly have gotten much better at this over the past year that is for sure. Learning to surrender is never easy but is well worth it.

If you happen to think of it, if you could pray for me tomorrow a.m. that would be delightful.

Blessings,
Andrea

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