I had my scan on Monday, some of you knew that and some of you didn't because of my lack of blogging lately. If this one comes back clear then I can get my port out. For those of you who don't know what a port is, you can go here and read more about it. This was actually inserted in my chest 1 year and 5 days ago and God willing within the next month I will have it out.
Of all of the stuff I have gone through, the port has been one of the most irritating. I know... sounds weird since I went through chemo and radiation to complain about such a small thing (and no, I should not be complaining at all) but my daughter has no concept of the discomfort she can cause when she crawls all over me and puts her full pressure on "the port". You want to see me instantly go to my knees and cry like a little girl - she can definitely make me go there in a second. Okay, I don't REALLY cry, its like a whimper. I don't want you all to think I am going soft or anything like that. :-)
Anyway, as I went for my scan and they injected me with the junk that supposedly makes me glow on the inside, I was instantly reminded of my "patient days" and how crummy it makes you feel. After the scan and then lunch to celebrate my FIL's bday, I came home and slept for several hours. Again, I was reminded of how much this stuff takes it out of me.
Then, another thought occurred to me (you know I couldn't just leave it there) - how quickly I forgot what it was like to be that full-time patient and how that is such a blessing. It is a lot like child birth. God obviously gave me a very short term memory there because we have 4 and 3 were in less than 5 years. Maybe that isn't short term memory and just craziness - who really knows. Just kidding. I wouldn't trade them for anything. Anyway, I just found myself becoming even more grateful that God has allowed me to forget the discomfort of treatment so quickly. It is truly a gift.
Anyway, I am not sure if this makes sense to anyone else out there. Maybe, just maybe, you too have experienced God's grace in this way before as well.
Blessings,
Andrea
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