Now What?

One of the things that I am struggling with the most lately is with the question - now what? My diagnosis happened 9 months ago and I have been in treatment most of that time (with the exception of the small break I got between chemo and radiation) and my life is definitely not the same as it was 9 months ago. I am also definitely not the same person as well.

I let go of all of my ministry activities. I stopped every hobby that I enjoyed. I could no longer maintain friendships like I did before. I have described it as looking at my life and it is in all of these pieces. Yet, I don't even know where to begin to start picking these pieces up to put them back together.

I know that even if I tried I would never be able to turn things back to the way they were before and I am not saying that I even want to. However, it is like I am starting my life all over again.

For now, I am just soaking it all in. I hug my children a million times a day and just savor each and every moment with them. I am so grateful to be alive. I am so grateful to have this time with them. It is truly a joy and I wouldn't trade even one second of it. It will be interesting though to see what God does with me from here.