Choosing God...

This past weekend my husband gave a sermon at church on "holiness" - being set-apart from the world. In his message he made the point that choosing to be "holy" is a choice - one that you have to make each and every day in your actions, your thoughts, and the things that you say. He talked about how he himself has had to make that choice time and again and especially since I was diagnosed with cancer.

There are times when it has been so hard and yet we have kept choosing God. In a time where it would be easy to be angry and question why - we have both made the choice to glorify God to the best of our abilities throughout. Now this isn't easy and there are days that I personally feel like I fail miserably but because of God's grace, love, and mercy you can get up the next day and try to do better.

After the third service a man approached us with tears streaming down his face. He told us that he had just lost his wife to cancer. I could just see this man's pain - yet he was still choosing God. He said that he and his wife were best friends - not just husband and wife - and that they had chose God in their life together. He said now that she was gone that was the only thing that was keeping him going - choosing God.

As quickly as he had approached us he was gone again - like a whisper from God himself - leaving me to my own tears and my husband to his. But his message went deeper than the tears - it was a confirmation to my heart that now when I am weaker than ever, when the mass quantities of medications are taking their toll not only on me physically but mentally and emotionally that it is more critical than ever to keep choosing God. For when I am weak He is my strength.

I feel like I am coming to the end of the pain and suffering that I have had to endure to be well again and yet it is so hard to keep pressing on - but I must. When my thoughts start to turn to selfish ones - I need to refocus on the cross and what Jesus did for me there. When my words aren't as loving as they should be - I need to force myself to speak kindness and love as God is calling me to do. When my actions and attitude aren't the way they should be - I need to adjust them to be more like Christ. This isn't easy to do but it is what I am called to do.

I am called to choose God in all that I do - not just when I feel like it.