Emotions...

For the past 7 months - every since I was diagnosed - I have just been super emotional every time I have gone to church. I am not a "crier" by definition - or at least I didn't use to be.

I remember the very first movie I ever cried at... "My Girl". For those of you who have seen it - you know what I am talking about - you would have to be made of Teflon not to cry at a movie like that. (And for all you youth group kids reading this I don't even want to hear about how you have never heard of such and ancient movie. No Googling it and making comments on how it is SO OLD and absolutely NO COMMENTS on my age. I have worked hard for my 32 years and I am proud of them! LOL) Anyway, I still remember my friend Tanya and I seeing it together and both crying during the movie and then pretending like we didn't cry afterwards. Why - I don't know. Ha! I still laugh when I think about that.

I remember my emotions really kicking up a notch when I became a mom and I think with each child I have become more emotional... and then the cancer, well that has put me over the top. I am not emotional out of sadness - it is just like I feel so loved. I feel grateful. I feel overwhelmed. Sure there are times where I get scared - I am human of course. There are times when the doubt starts to creep in and I don't know if I am really doing the right thing - if I am really hearing God's voice but then I just pray some more and God brings me back to where I need to be. Once again I find that peace and I just know he is going to heal me.

Emotions use to scare me but they don't any more. I am grateful that I have them and that I get to experience a love that is so great that there are sometimes no words - only tears. I am grateful for a God that knows what I need even though I cannot explain it but instead only cry out to him.

If I could tell you one thing that I have been able to learn time and time again, it would be... don't be afraid to cry out to God. Wherever you are at... He will meet you there.