Sometimes this question comes from people that are searching for their own beliefs.
Sometimes this questions comes from people who are steadfast in their belief that there is no God.
Regardless of who is asking the question, I always have the same answer.
How can I not?
For what God has done in my life there is no way that I cannot believe in Him.
And that is just me personally.
That does not even come close to describing what I have seen Him do in other lives.
Sure I face criticism for my beliefs.
I had someone tell me that it was natural for me to believe what I do when I have gone through something like I have (meaning the cancer) because it is the human tendency to try to cling to something that could possibly give me the outcome that I desired.
Um... okay...
One important note though - I believed in God before I was diagnosed too....
Anyway, I am not here to debate my belief.
People are entitled to their beliefs just as I am entitled to mine.
But I do want to share one of the many many ways I have seen God in my life.
Jason and I have actually had people ask us, even our Christian friends, how we can believe in Jesus after what we have gone through... the cancer... the multiple miscarriages... and other things that we won't get into.
Again, our answer... how can we not?
One way I saw God's provisions... God's miracle... was actually through my cancer.
What some of you may not know is that I found my first cancer symptom when my daughter was just 2 weeks old.
It was not there before and then suddenly the day she was 2 weeks old I found what I would later learn was a tumor in my neck.
Why is this a miracle?
Some people may say it is the opposite....
Because I didn't find that tumor during my pregnancy.
Can you even fathom the timing of it all?
I STILL struggle with the magnitude of how powerful this is in my life.
I am pregnant with my daughter.
A pregnancy that I white knuckled the entire time because of the loss of our son the year before...
But I am able to go through my entire pregnancy with the cancer growing in my body and still deliver this healthy baby girl.
Then 2 weeks later I find my first cancer symptom.
I see women all of the time that have been diagnosed with cancer during their pregnancies and then have to make those critical decisions.
I was actually there once myself but that is a story for another blog post.
But I cannot imagine having to make those decisions being pregnant with her after we had endured such a loss just one year, one month, and ten days before she was born.
I know God knew that I could not take that.
And he spared me from it.
I am also grateful that he allowed me to carry her full-term and that she was perfectly healthy despite the cancer growing inside me at the very same time.
A miracle.
My miracle.
One of many.
But God is not a God of just miracles.
He is a God of the everyday things.
Each day I walk it out with Him and each day I know how lost I would be without Him.
And I am grateful.
Grateful for it all.
I know that this may not seem like a big deal to some but it is a huge deal to me.
And to my last breath on this earth I will rejoice for the gifts that He has given me.
2 weeks.
He gave me 2 weeks.
And it made all the difference for this mamma.
And one very special baby girl.
No comments:
Post a Comment