Why Is It So Hard to Say Goodbye?

This past Sunday we said goodbye to Kylie and Isaac who interned for the church this past summer. For me personally this really snuck up on me as this summer has been so fast paced it seems like they just got here. How could it possibly be time for them to leave already? But it is time for them to go back to their previous lives hopefully calling this a rewarding experience and cherishing the memories made as I know we will.

As I arrived at church that Sunday morning and saw them on stage leading worship for the last time I felt that familiar pain in my heart and remembered it dreadfully as the “pain of goodbye.” I got choked up for a few moments before I regained my composure. You see, I hate saying goodbye. Not that there is really anyone who likes to say goodbye to those we love and care about. I know that I am not any different than the next person in the fact that I just overall do not like this feeling. It just seems like we have to say “goodbye” a lot in our lives.

Coming from a split family myself, which is not that uncommon these days, and I think that it is just a reality that you learn to face as a child. When your parents are no longer together you are automatically saying goodbye to one of your parents at all times. No matter how well they get along this is just the way it is. This, without fail, does leave some sort of lasting impression on your life. Then you have your normal lifetime goodbye stuff….if a friend moves or you lose a grandparent. When family comes to visit and then the visit is over. I have a cousin that when I visit and then I have to say goodbye it hurts my heart so much. For a time in my life I felt like it was better to just avoid the visit or avoid the relationship all together if it was going to hurt that much when it was time to part ways.

Jason and I have had a great deal of experience saying goodbye in our own relationship as well. When we first started dating we lived an hour away from each other which in this day and age isn’t all that much but add completely opposite schedules and the fact that he was trying to finish up college to the mix and it becomes difficult. It was awful each time I had to say goodbye to him and my heart would just ache. But patience and perseverance paid off as we made it through those times to the very happy marriage that we have today. I do know that because we had to spend so much time apart in the beginning that we absolutely appreciate the times that we have together now and never take that time for granted.

After we were married we continued to say goodbye but this time as a couple. In my husband’s career before he became a youth pastor he worked for a company that moved us 10,000 miles in a 2 year period. Yes, that is right and no, I am not exaggerating. To this day I absolutely cannot stand packing, even if it is to go away for the weekend, and I blame it on the fact that we moved more than most people do in a lifetime in a very short period of time.

During our many moves with this company we said goodbye to a lot of very good people. Unfortunately, most of them we are not still in contact with. Long distance relationships take effort and with as busy as everyone is today people rarely have time to maintain such friendships. Now, thanks to such things as Facebook it is a little easier than it once was but it still takes effort. Once again I developed the attitude that if it was going to hurt that bad when we moved again was it really worth starting the friendship in the first place?

As these two young people left that day I came to a new conclusion. One that I know was in my heart the whole time despite how hard I tried to bury it. I can tell you that, yes, it is worth starting the friendship. It is worth the effort in staying in contact and maintaining that friendship. What a lonely life it would be if you didn’t put yourself out there even if you might have to say goodbye someday. I can tell you when it comes to saying goodbye that I am not any good at it. No one is. But I know for sure that I would rather feel the pains of goodbye then to never invest in the friendship at all. I would much rather have the memories of those friendships then to have never made them in the first place. So, here is to Kylie and Isaac. Thanks for the friendship, thanks for the memories and may this not be “goodbye” but merely see you later. We love you guys and may God Bless you.