life with him.

This is going to be difficult to get through.

I am already crying.

He has a way of bringing that out in me.

Tomorrow is a special day for us.

It is the anniversary of our wedding day.

We have lots of special days.

And he never forgets any of them. 

But I thought I would take a few minutes to reflect upon my life with him. 

Share.

Remember.

{Love.}

Life with him is pure joy.

Sure, we have had our share of trials.

(You have been here for many of them.)

But they have always been things that happened to us - not things between us.

(I hope that makes sense.)

Loving this man is so easy.

I delight in it each day.

And, in turn, I feel so loved by him.

There are no words to describe it. 

I wake up every morning and thank the Lord that he chose me.

Our life has been messy.

4 kids has a tendency to make life interesting anyway. 

But then there was more. 

Multiple job transfers.

Lots of moving. 

Many miscarriages.

Cancer.

And the list can go on and on. 

Anyone of those things could have been enough to take our marriage down.

But instead...

We have drawn closer.

Steadfast.

Unwavering.

And through all of this messiness I believe we have truly achieved the oneness that God speaks of. 

When I was diagnosed the thought of leaving this man was beyond heartbreaking. 

I knew he would make it through it. 

It would be hard - especially with the kids.

But he is strong.

He is faithful.

But I never want him to hurt.

And.

I had made a promise.

I promised him I would grow old with him.

Sure, it was made when we were young and thought we would live 100 years.

But it was still a promise.

Until that moment it never occurred to me that it could be any different. 

Questions would race through my mind.

Did he know how much I really loved him?

Did I love him well enough?

Did I love him enough to get him through the time we would be apart if I did leave this world so soon?

Did I honor him as I have been called to do?

Did I show my children the depth of my love for their father?

Did I model the love of a devoted wife so my daughter would know how to love her husband someday?

Did I receive his love the way I was supposed to so my son's would know how to love their wives someday?

I know these questions may not make sense to some.

Or may seem obsessive. 

But when I thought of not being here much longer I just wanted to make sure I was leaving those that I love with what they needed from me. 

Nothing else mattered. 

Not me. 

Not the pain I went through.

Just them.

Just him.

As we celebrate tomorrow I can honestly say....

There is no place I would rather be.

Next to him.

Loved by him.

Doing this life together. 

Serving One as One.

J - I love you so dearly. I delight in being your wife. Thank you for choosing me. Thank you for choosing this. Thank you for raising our children with me. Thank you for being the man you are - for leading our household the way you do. Thank you for always standing firm for what is right and continually shining the light of Jesus for me, our children, and all those around us. In the dark nights you have been my light - reminding me of how much Jesus loves me through your love. Thank you for cherishing me and nourishing me the way you do and for always showering me with the word of the Lord through your words, actions, and love. 

Your loving wife. 

Funny of the Day

It's me again! Sorry for the lack of contact - in response to the question one of my friends always asks me when I go underground - no, I have not been abducted by aliens. I am still just trying to figure out how to do this recover from cancer with four kids thing... Just when I think I am starting to get some stuff figured out something rocks the Gressman boat and I feel like I have to start over. I am not complaining (or meaning to sound "complainy") it has just been a process.

Anywhoo... I do have a funny of the day for you that I could not resist sharing. It is actually from my 6 year old. He is my quiet one and most like his daddy. Thoughtful, sweet, and definitely a protector. Yep, sounds just like my hubs through and through. 

He wants to be a soldier when he grows up and he loves policemen, although when he sees them in public he gets really shy. We were in a nearby town a few months back eating at a Subway and a couple of them came in to eat as well. He stared at them for the longest time and finally my hubby took him over there to introduce him. They ended up letting him sit in both of their cars and run the lights and all. They did draw the line when he started asking about their shotgun that was installed in the front seat. He actually asked them if it was their rocket launcher. LOL. It was a cool experience for him nonetheless. 

He is amazing with his baby sister. I know I have shared the story of when she was born and he said, "I am her 'tector." He will stop in his tracks to help her in some way. The other day I heard him say to his little brother, "We don't let Kearyn (baby sister) cry. Whatever she wants - give it to her." Lord have mercy. 

Anyway, for this "funny of the day" I have to share my secret shame. I have a slight obsession with shows like Forensic Files, Cold Cases, etc. In fact, if God wouldn't have called me to be a wife and a mother that is probably what I would be doing but I like where He put me instead. 

So, I was watching an all new type of forensics show that I found on Netflix (yay me!). My 6 year old came in at the end and heard that the bad man was sentenced to 100 years in prison. My boy's eyes got wide and he said, "100 years, wow mom, that is a long time. Will he even live that long?" I explained the situation and said no, that he would just serve the remainder of his life in prison. He said, "Well, do they feed them or do they starve." I said no, they feed them. He said, "Do they feed them broccoli?" I couldn't help but to laugh at that one. In a 6 year old's mind there is not greater punishment than going to jail AND having to eat broccoli.

Happy Friday!

Andrea

Favorite September Moments.....{Part 2}

We had a birthday in the house this month which by far one of the most special moments. Our third son - Creide Jaxton turned the BIG 4 on September 11th. I can't believe it. As a mom I think you always revisit the day of their birth - seeing them for the first time, holding them in your arms for the first time and then you think of how fast it has gone by. 

This year we were on our week long camping vacation on Creide's birthday. But does that stop us Gressman's from celebrating? Heck no! We hauled all of his presents up there and I even made him a peach cobbler in my dutch oven with the campfire. This definitely gave me an appreciation for what the pioneer women went through! (I love my oven.)

Creide's birthday fell on the second day of the hunting season. Jason went out early that morning with his dad and brother but came back to camp early to see if Creide wanted to go out again with him. (Totally earning dad-of-the-year points).  It wasn't five minutes later that Jason spotted his buck and Creide got to be there with him. (Earning him even more dad-of-the-year points.) 

When I asked Creide later what the best part of his day was... it wasn't any of the presents, it wasn't the awesome campfire peach cobbler his mom made for him - it was hunting with his daddy. :-) How cute is that!

I feel so blessed to have been here for another one of my children's birthdays. I have always loved their birthdays so much but now - well, it is just different. I want to ring out every minute of each day with them. Thank you God. 

Priceless Moments: Father, Son & the Great Dilemma

When I was going through the pictures from Kearyn's birthday party (don't worry - I will be sharing them as we go along) I found these pictures and just loved them.

It truly is the great dilemma. You can just hear their conversation -

Daddy: So Creide, what do you think - should we go over the shoot and through the windmill or take the safe shot and go around?

Creide: Daddy! Look, there is a bird! Come here birdy, birdy, birdy - I'm gonna catch it.

Daddy: No Creide, we are playing golf here. We need to decide how we are going to play this hole.

Creide: Come here birdy. Awe Daddy! The birdy flew away!

Daddy: We'll just play it safe and go around.

Creide: Okay Daddy - look! A squirrel! 

......or something like that. :-)

~Pictures by Sarah B.~