life with him.

This is going to be difficult to get through.

I am already crying.

He has a way of bringing that out in me.

Tomorrow is a special day for us.

It is the anniversary of our wedding day.

We have lots of special days.

And he never forgets any of them. 

But I thought I would take a few minutes to reflect upon my life with him. 

Share.

Remember.

{Love.}

Life with him is pure joy.

Sure, we have had our share of trials.

(You have been here for many of them.)

But they have always been things that happened to us - not things between us.

(I hope that makes sense.)

Loving this man is so easy.

I delight in it each day.

And, in turn, I feel so loved by him.

There are no words to describe it. 

I wake up every morning and thank the Lord that he chose me.

Our life has been messy.

4 kids has a tendency to make life interesting anyway. 

But then there was more. 

Multiple job transfers.

Lots of moving. 

Many miscarriages.

Cancer.

And the list can go on and on. 

Anyone of those things could have been enough to take our marriage down.

But instead...

We have drawn closer.

Steadfast.

Unwavering.

And through all of this messiness I believe we have truly achieved the oneness that God speaks of. 

When I was diagnosed the thought of leaving this man was beyond heartbreaking. 

I knew he would make it through it. 

It would be hard - especially with the kids.

But he is strong.

He is faithful.

But I never want him to hurt.

And.

I had made a promise.

I promised him I would grow old with him.

Sure, it was made when we were young and thought we would live 100 years.

But it was still a promise.

Until that moment it never occurred to me that it could be any different. 

Questions would race through my mind.

Did he know how much I really loved him?

Did I love him well enough?

Did I love him enough to get him through the time we would be apart if I did leave this world so soon?

Did I honor him as I have been called to do?

Did I show my children the depth of my love for their father?

Did I model the love of a devoted wife so my daughter would know how to love her husband someday?

Did I receive his love the way I was supposed to so my son's would know how to love their wives someday?

I know these questions may not make sense to some.

Or may seem obsessive. 

But when I thought of not being here much longer I just wanted to make sure I was leaving those that I love with what they needed from me. 

Nothing else mattered. 

Not me. 

Not the pain I went through.

Just them.

Just him.

As we celebrate tomorrow I can honestly say....

There is no place I would rather be.

Next to him.

Loved by him.

Doing this life together. 

Serving One as One.

J - I love you so dearly. I delight in being your wife. Thank you for choosing me. Thank you for choosing this. Thank you for raising our children with me. Thank you for being the man you are - for leading our household the way you do. Thank you for always standing firm for what is right and continually shining the light of Jesus for me, our children, and all those around us. In the dark nights you have been my light - reminding me of how much Jesus loves me through your love. Thank you for cherishing me and nourishing me the way you do and for always showering me with the word of the Lord through your words, actions, and love. 

Your loving wife. 

Hello August - You Have Some Big Shoes to Fill!

Yesterday I blogged about July and what a great month it was for our family. 

It was the first month that I would say that I felt halfway normal in a long, long time and I loved every minute of it. 

It is so wonderful not having to struggle to just get out of bed every morning. 

That was my reality for so long...

And if you know me, if you know me at all, you know that COMPLETELY goes against my personality. 

I have always done a million things. One person said it well when he said that I am a "high achiever". That makes me laugh but he was certainly right.

So, when everything is stripped away from you and you struggle day after day, week after week, and month after month - well, it can take its toll. 

But, there is another way of looking at it. If I wouldn't have experienced that depth of fatigue I would not appreciate the energy I have today as much as I do. 

Anyway, back to August...

August, you have some big shoes to fill my friend. However, I think you have a chance. For August represents two of the most precious days in my life. 

The first one to come up is a day I am grateful for and celebrate to the deepest depth of my heart. 

It happened 13 years ago. 

13.

Can you believe it? 

My oldest son will turn [13] in 8 days. 

It is like a dagger in my heart in so many way. The time has flown by and I am counting down the years, months, weeks, days, and minutes I have left with him. Then he will be off to explore the world on his own. 

I am praying it is enough. That we have taught him enough. That we have prepared him enough. But I know it won't be and that is where God comes in. That is where my faith is enough. 

For now, all I can do is cherish. 

Cherish the time. 

Cherish the relationship. 

Cherish the young man that God so graciously blessed our lives with. 

Just cherish him. 

Awe, the emotion of just thinking and writing about it are almost too much! 

The 2nd big day is a day of pure joy. 

August also means an anniversary for J and I. 

So blessed that he chose me. :-) 

I am excited to live life with this man everyday. 

I would choose no other. 

As a homeschool family, we will be back to it at the end of this month. I am truly so excited for this school year. The last two years have been tough with treatment and my low energy level. I am so excited for this year, the curriculum, classes, and other activities. Even though I will be teaching 3 this year with a two year old in tow. :-) 

For now, we are going to soak up what is left of summer. I have to get enough to sustain me through the winter. :-) I may be a Colorado girl but I don't love the cold. 

This means....

More trips to the lake.

More carload drive-in runs.

More BBQ's. 

Really, anything where we can all be together is good with me. And maybe we will see you there too. If so, stop by and say hi. We would love to catch up. 

Wishing you the very best August ever. 

Blessings,

Andrea

{mitch+audra} ~ est. 7.31.2010

Today is my little sister and brother-in-laws 2 year anniversary. 

It is hard to believe that it has been 2 years already.

I love seeing their happiness and joy....

....as they build their life together. 

Happy Anniversary Mitch and Audra.  

Love you two. 

The Anniversary

Jason and I celebrated our anniversary today. All I can say is that it has been a pure joy to be married to this man. I feel so blessed each and every day that God has blessed me with the love of my life. I cannot imagine walking through what I am walking through right now without him.

When the bible called him to love me as Christ loves the church - he has done just that. Each and every day  as my husband loves me the way he does - I see Christ.

Thanks for loving me as you do Jason - through sickness and in health, until death do us part.