Fall in Love with Your Life

I have been on a sabbatical from the blog lately and honestly it was because I have just been so exhausted. But we were able to sneak away (more about that later) and just get some rest. It was awesome. And it is funny because when you finally get some good rest the fog kind of lifts from your brain and then the creative juices start to flow properly again. At least for me they do.

There have been many things on my heart to share for the past few months - I just didn’t have the energy to do so. So, I thought I would just start there….

The other day I was looking through some archives on a blog I read regularly. It was just one line. There was nothing else – maybe a picture but there were no other words. It said:

Fall in love with your life.

It just stopped me in my tracks because for some reason I had never thought of it that way. I then asked myself the question – am I truly in love with my life? (We’ll get to my answer later.) But I started thinking of all the messages we receive today. That we can’t be happy if we don’t earn a certain income, have a certain house, certain hobbies, friends or even a certain number of kids. But what if all that is stripped away? Are you still going to love your life?

My answer, even after facing all that Jason and I have faced together, is yes. I simply adore the life I have been given. Although I would have not signed up for each and every thing that has happened, I have witnessed firsthand the goodness of God all the way through. This is the life He has given me and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Praying that you too are in love with the life God has given you.

Blessings,

Andrea

One Day I Will Shine Again

Have you ever had a blog all written out in your head but when you go to write it thing turns out completely different? If you are not a blogger perhaps you can relate with something else. Anyway, that is totally what happened today. I had it all planned out and then God went and had to change it -and in the process He totally brought me to my knees.

I honestly hesitate to share this with you just because it is forcing me to be so very open but I know that when you all email me or make comments the number one comment is how you appreciate my honesty. So there is that and then there is the fact that this may help someone else out there so how can I not share?

Basically I had this update planned in my head... that the Shingles were nearly gone, my daughter was nearly better (for those of you who don't know she has been super sick with the cough, fever, etc. since about Thursday - and this has been a rough one), and that my port removal wounds were nearly healed.

Then I was going to go on and talk about how I felt like I was basically having to start over again with my energy level and how it seems that anytime I start to make some progress I get knocked down again and have to claw my way back up.

That is when this Toby Mac song popped into my head. I like Toby Mac. I like how upbeat his music is, oh, and of course that he is a Christian performer. My son's also like him and I have some very fun memories of Toby Mac songs playing in our home and watching all of them dance in our living room. Okay, so I danced too since we are being honest here - how can you not dance to Toby Mac?. :-)

Anyway, I went to find the lyrics for the song - Get Back Up Again by Toby Mac - because there was a very specific line I was thinking of... "You may be knocked down, But not out forever" but that is when it happened. I started reading the entire lyrics to the song as it played and I just started crying. Yes, I cried at a Toby Mac song. It was like it took me right back to the beginning when I had just been diagnosed and took me all the way through my battle to where I am today.  I posted the lyrics here below so you can read them for yourself.....

You turned away when I looked you in the eye, 

And hesitated when I asked if you were alright, 

Seems like you're fighting for you life, 

But why? oh why? 

Wide awake in the middle of your nightmare, 

You saw it comin' but it hit you outta no where, 

And there's always scars 

When you fall back far 

We lose our way, 

We get back up again 

It's never too late to get back up again, 

{One day you will shine again,} 

You may be knocked down, 

But not out forever, 

Lose our way, 

We get back up again, 

So get up, get up, 

{You gonna shine again,} 

Never too late to get back up again, 

You may be knocked down, 

But not out forever 

(May be knocked down but not out forever) 

You're rolled out at the dawning of the day 

Heart racin' as you made you little get away, 

It feels like you've been runnin' all your life 

But, why? Oh why? 

So you've pulled away from the love that would've been there, 

You start believin' that your situation's unfair 

But there's always scars, 

When you fall back far 

We lose our way, 

We get back up again 

Never too late to get back up again, 

{One day, you gonna shine again,} 

You may be knocked down but not out forever, 

Lose our way, we get back up again, 

So get up, get up 

{You gonna shine again} 

It's never too late, to get back up again 

You may be knocked down, but not out forever, 

May be knocked down, but not out forever! 

This is love callin', love callin', out to the broken, 

This is love callin'. 

This is love callin', love callin', out to the broken 

This is love callin'. 

This is love callin', love callin', 

I am so broken 

This is love callin' love callin 

Lose our way, (way way way ay ay ay) 

We get back up, (get back up again) 

It's never too late (late late late ate ate ate) 

You may be knocked down but not out forever! 

 Lose our way, 

We get back up again, 

So get up get up 

{You gonna shine again} 

Never too late to get back up again 

You may be knocked down, 

But not out forever, 

This is love (lose our way) callin' love callin' (get back up again) 

To the broken 

This is love (never too late) callin' (may be knocked down but not out forever) 

This is love (lose our way) callin' love callin' (we get back up again) 

To the broken 

This is love (never too late) callin' (may be knocked down but not out forever) 

This is love callin' love callin' 

Out to the broken, 

This is love callin'....

I put some of the lines that really stuck in my heart in bold and as you can see there was one that really hit me.... 

{One day, you gonna shine again,} 

I feel that is what I have not been able to do since I was diagnosed - shine. Shine for Jesus. It took every ounce of energy I had to get through treatment and now it takes every ounce of energy I have to get up in the morning and take care of my kids that I have forgotten what it is like to truly shine. 

Please don't get me wrong - this is not a crisis of my faith. My faith was solid going into cancer and it was solid coming out of cancer. In fact, the other day I had a realization that I did not discover my faith through cancer as so many do, I discovered myself and who God truly wants me to be. Now it is all about living that out and finishing the discovery.

To me, the lyrics of this song was a message of hope that I so desperately needed and the crazy thing is that I didn't even realize I needed it. It is a promise to me that things will be okay and even though it will take time and I may be knocked down 1000 more times.....One day, I will shine again. 

Be careful the next time you listen to a Toby Mac song - you never know what may happen. May you all be blessed and encouraged in the Lord today and always.

Blessings,

Andrea

Beware of the {Joy} Robbers!

I feel like I am pretty joyful in my life. After all, I have a lot to be joyful about. Hey, I woke up this morning - it is a good day! :-) That is pretty much my perspective after what I just went through.
But, I am a mom of four kids - five if your count Jason. (Just kidding - kind of.) So sometimes I just feel like the joyful juice just seems to run out. Anyone with me? Probably not - I am sure I am the ONLY person who goes through this.

Right now I have the "pre-teen". Don't get me wrong - my "pre-teen" is a really good kid. We are so very blessed to have him for a son and I know that my issues with him are really pretty mild compared to what a lot of parents deal with. After all, my husband is a youth pastor so we are aware. I will just leave it at that.

Our issues with Cale are like - stop reading so much. I'm serious. The child would read 24 hours a day if he could and I love the fact that he loves to read so much. But there are other things in life that must happen. Like showers and eating. We do get the occasional "pre-teen" attitude from time-to-time but most of the time he is an excellent kid.

Then I have the 6 year old, the 4 year old, and the 19 month old. That is where things start to get a little busier.... (understatement)

Most of the time things are what they are. We go with the flow. Not life or death obviously. But then there are these moments... I call them the "joy robbers". For example, every time we go to leave our home I feel like there is an invasion of the "joy robbers". I will get Kearyn (19 months) ready to go and go to find the 4 year old. I will look over every square inch of the house to only find him a half an hour later hiding in a cupboard that only a mouse could fit into. (Small exaggeration but you know what I mean.)

Then, I turn around to find the the 19 month old has completely undressed herself - tights, dress, hair bow, and yes, even the diaper from time-to-time, completely gone!

That is when I feel it. My blood pressure goes up a notch. I just want to sit down bury my head in my hands and tell them that mommy doesn't want to play this game anymore... stop hiding in cupboards and keep your close on. Please! And that is only 2 of the 4 children I have.

However, as I have recently felt the "joy robber" invasion I have decided to do things differently. It is basically the equivalent of "stop-drop-and roll" - you know what the firemen told us to do as a kid... Well, mine is STOP - THINK - CHOOSE. (Hey, I have to keep it simple or I will never remember it. Then  my blood pressure would go up another notch for not remembering.)

I stop whatever it is that I am doing in that moment. (Even if it is being curled up in the fetal position and crying in the corner.) I think about what it is happening. Someone is trying to rob my joy in this moment. Then I make a different choice. I choose to see the joy in that moment and I choose to keep my joy. I refuse to let the "joy robbers" steal it from me.

Sometimes I just have to laugh at the moment. Or I find something to be grateful for in that moment - like the fact that my 4 year old son is so creative that he even thought of that cupboard as a hiding place. Or that my daughter is even here with me in this moment at all. When I fill my thoughts and my heart with gratefulness my perspective changes almost instantly. The blood pressure goes down and I can resume whatever it is that I am doing with joy in my heart.

How are the "joy robbers" treating you lately?


The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. ~ John 10:10

Superheros For Breakfast

I feel blessed multiple times a day to have children but not just any children. My children - hand picked by God to be apart of our family - each of them so uniquely made to complete us. Their personalities shining through and I see little glimpses of the men my boys will grow up to be and I know my baby girl will reveal her personality more and more each day as well.

My oldest, the analyst, always thinking, pondering, and questioning - always two steps ahead of me, if not more. He has such a deep understanding of God and His affect not only on his own life but in this world as well and yet he is still so young. I am amazed and grateful all at the same time. Adversity is something this child knows well and yet he always presses on. I have learned so much from him. Yes, a mother learning from her son.

My middle son is my steadfast warrior with such a gentle spirit. His personality is most like his dad's. A quiet observer but there in a second to help someone in need. The protector of all who need him but especially babies and animals.

My youngest, the smallest of the three brothers, but full of an energy that just doesn't quit. Always pressing on to push his little body to keep up with his brothers. He continually adds his own personal flair to each adventure and each thing is truly an adventure to this little boy.

My baby girl - the princess. Already realizing that she has three extremely capable entertainers that will surely provide their protective skills to her at every step. Already filled with a femininity, a gentleness, and a delicate touch. Always willing to lean in for a snuggle showing her love and affection in her own special way.

These are my children. My gifts from God. 

This morning my youngest son was up early as he is every morning. As soon as the sun peaks through his curtains his little body is alerted that it is time to start a new day - a new adventure, and everyday is an adventure. We travel to far off lands to slay dragons, we build the Eiffel Tower in our living room and that is all before breakfast. It takes a lot to keep this little man busy and I understand why God made him the third son in this family. If he didn't have two ahead of him life would have been thoroughly boring.

Anyway, we paused for breakfast this morning, because that is another thing this child can do....He can eat. Not even 30 pounds yet he often consumes more than his brothers combined. Pancakes are a delicacy to this young one and he actually held the record number of pancakes eaten for the longest time in the Gressman household when one morning he effortlessly consumed 9 of them. This, brought a great deal of shame to his oldest brother until he mustard up the courage one morning to consume 11 of them deliberately reclaiming the record from his 3 year old brother. The 3 year old was oblivious as he was already on to his next adventure.

So we are having breakfast this morning and one of the things that just makes me laugh about this little boy is how serious he is when he talks about all his adventures. We were sitting there and he is going on and on about superheros.  He is telling me how high they can jump and the things they can push on their belts. He is explaining how they can protect you - all with the most serious face ever. I never knew before I became a mom that I would have conversations about superheros over breakfast. This adds a whole new pressure to motherhood. What if I mess up the conversation? What if I get the wrong superhero with the wrong set of superhero powers? Well, just like we have taught our children about God and how forgiving He is to us, my boys are graciously forgiving to me. They may give me a funny look or say, "No mom! Batman is the one that can do that," and then they move on to the next superhero topic of conversation. They never hold this over my head to use at later times, bringing it up a year for now saying something like, "Oh yeah, well I would have been able to have true happiness in life if you would have known your superheros better." I know this sounds silly but how often do we do this to others in our life - holding silly things against them for years to come.

I have to ask myself, is this what God had in mind when He talked about a child-like faith? Is there such a things as a child-like forgiveness? Don't children seem to be far more forgiving than we adults are sometimes? So, as we concluded our superhero conversation over breakfast I realized that yet again God taught me something else through my children and for that I am so grateful.

³ People were bringing little children to Jesus for him to place his hands on them, but the disciples rebuked them. ¹⁴ When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said to them, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. ¹⁵ Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.” Mark 10:13-15

Choices

One thing that people continually comment on is my attitude throughout this whole ordeal. For the most part, with exception to the first couple of days, I feel that I have been able to maintain a fairly positive attitude about it all. There is no way I would be able to do this on my own strength. This is truly because of the peace God has so delicately placed on my heart.

In the midst of it all, I have realized several things. First and foremost, as much as we try to battle Him for it from time to time, God is very much in control. He is here in the present and has gone before us in the future. He has it all mapped out and there is no sense in fighting Him for that control. I know that I am in much better hands leaving it up to Him and when I try to do things on my own, I just mess stuff up anyway.

But there is something I do have control over.....my choices. I can choose to have a positive attitude about this instead of filling my heart with anger and resentment. I can choose to fight until God tells me to stop fighting. I can choose to seek God in all that I do today, tomorrow, and each day from here on out. You see, even though He has control, we have free will and that "free will" can either glorify God or not.

Being Real and Really Being

One of the things God has really called me to be on this blog is be AUTHENTIC. I feel like when I have a bad day, He wants me to tell you I have had a bad day -  don't sugar coat it, don't pretend, don't act like I don't have any problems.Don't tell everyone everything is rainbows and sunshine and then close my blinds and fall apart as long as no one is looking. I have cancer for goodness sake, there is just a new REALITY here that I must face. 


In turn, when I am REJOICING for the simplest thing - He wants me to share that too. He wants me to tell you that I am GRATEFUL to just be alive, to take this very breath and I don't care if I lose every hair on my head, I really don't. It is such a small price to pay for the reward He is giving me. He wants me to tell you how this, and every other hard time I have gone through has CHANGED me forever and that there is no going back to the person I was before. I don't even remember who that person was as it seems to have been a lifetime ago.  I feel that He is telling me that I must BE REAL at all times and by being real, I am REALLY BEING. Yes, I am broken all of the time but in my brokenness He is GLORIFIED. Yes, I cry and feel sorry for myself from time to time but HE has accounted for every single one of my tear and in my selfishness he brings me to a whole new level of really being for Him and Him alone. A whole new level of FAITH and a whole new level of SURRENDERING it all to Him. 


I don't know what this means to you, maybe nothing or maybe everything. Only God can speak these things into your heart as they need to be spoken. 

Ten Things God Wants You To Remember...Part 2

I shared yesterday how a beautiful card my friend Vicki gave me inspired me to write this series. These are the 10 things God wants us to remember. With a bible packed full of information sometimes it is hard to even know where to begin when times get tough or even when times aren't tough. We try to make things so much more complicated than they really are.

The second thing God wants us to remember....

I love you. 

There is so much scripture that backs up these three little words that God wants to tell us over and over but how often we forget how much he really loves us. 

We love because HE first loved us. ~ 1 John 4:19 

A new command I give you: Love one another. 

As I have loved you, so you must love one another. ~John 13:34

Ten Things God Wants You To Remember...Part 1

So, I have another little story to share. Today I went to the doctor's office, as I will every Wednesday for a very long time and as I am on my way back to the second waiting room. You know, the one that you graduate to after you have spent your time in the first waiting room. Just kidding. This doctor's office is really good about keeping you on track. They would have to be to have me completely diagnosed in less than 3 business days and have my treatment started in less than a week.

Anyway, I am on my way back when one of the nurses stops me and hands me a cute little pink gift bag. She said that it was dropped off for me at the receptionist down the stairs. No way! Who goes to the doctor's office and gets a present?!? I tell you what, it totally changed my day! My friend Vicki had so thoughtfully done this for me. Tears literally came to my eyes! In the gift bag there was a beautiful card and that is what inspired this series. At the top it said "Ten Things God Wants You To Remember." How cool is that! Sometimes we try to make it so complicated but it doesn't really have to be.

Here is the first thing God wants us to remember....

I am for you.

When was the last time someone said that to you in such simple terms? When I imagine God's voice saying this to me, I get goose bumps. 

This amazing little fact is confirmed throughout scripture. Remember Romans 8:31 - ""What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? - that I talked about last week - a scripture my friend Julie sent me....(yeah, that was no coincidence that God placed that on her heart to send over to me.)  He isn't looking over our shoulder the whole time just waiting for us to mess up.  He wants us to succeed. He wants good things for us. It is just up to us to remember it. 

A Little Help From My Friends....Part 1

I wanted to share a couple of things that have just touched my heart recently. There have been so many things, I could literally blog for days and days but I just thought I would start with these for now.

My friend Autumn dropped a book of devotionals off for me at church recently, which Jason brought home for me yesterday. If you know me, you know I love devotionals. I think that my heart is drawn to the "real life" approach that devotionals often bring. Anyway, I am laying on the couch, tired and weary to say the least, and he hands me this leather bound book. It is one of those books that has a devotional for each specific day. I kid you not, I opened the book EXACTLY to February 15th. That isn't even the best part though... Here is what this little book of treasures had to say to me:

"Come to Me with all your weaknesses: physical, emotional, and spiritual. Rest in the comfort of My Presence, remembering that nothing is impossible with Me. 


Pry your mind away from your problems so you can focus your attention on Me. Recall that I am able to do immeasurably more than all you ask or imagine. Instead of trying to direct Me to do this and that, seek to attune yourself to what I am already doing. 


When anxiety attempts to wedge its way into your thoughts, remind yourself that I am your Shepherd. The bottom lin is that I am taking care of you; therefore, you needn't be afraid of anything. Rather than trying to maintain control over your life, abandon yourself to My will. Though this may feel frightening-even dangerous, the safest place to be is in My will." 


At the very least I felt as this had been written for me by God himself for that very moment in time. It never ceases to amaze me that he is ready and willing to meet us right where we are, despite where we are. All we have to do is turn to him.

There was another factor that I was extremely thankful for in all of this. My friend Autumn. If she wouldn't have gotten this book for me, I wouldn't have received this message from God - at least not in that way and this was a very powerful way for me.

I have been so thankful for all my friends and family that have done things just like this in order for me to hear, see, and witness God's love for me first hand. These are truly the things that keep me going. Love you all!

~Andrea

P.S. For those of you who are interested in getting a copy of your own devotional mentioned above it is called Jesus Calling - Enjoying Peace In His Presence by Sarah Young. Click here to order a copy of yourself.

Love

Being that it is Valentine's Day I have been inspired to write about.......you guessed it.....

Love

I know that some feel today was designed as a clever marketing tactic to sucker more money out of the consumer but my response to that...

Everyday should be Valentine's Day! By that I mean that you can forgo the flowers, chocolates, and fancy dinners but you should take the time and opportunity to show those in your life how much you love them each and every day. Love isn't designed by how much you spend but instead, the heart condition behind what you do to show them how much you love them.

One of my greatest acts of showing my boys that I love them costs me pennies. Literally. Every time I clean their bathroom I am showing how deep my love goes for them. I hate cleaning the bathroom and always have. Cleaning my own isn't so bad but cleaning up after other people, entirely different story. Especially when three boys ages 11, 5, and 3 years old dominate the bathroom usage. But I realize that by giving them a clean bathroom I am showing them that I love them, whether they realize it or not. It is critical that I do this with a loving heart condition and not out of a heart condition of bitterness or resentment.

I ended up looking up what "LOVE" means according to good ol' Mr. Webster and there were actually a few different definitions. These are a couple that I chose to share with you:


love
noun \ˈləv\

a (1) : strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties.

love

verb \ˈləv\

1. To hold dear: cherish
2. To thrive in. 

As you can see, there is "LOVE" as a noun and then there is "LOVE" as a verb and this really got me  thinking about what type of "love" I am showing and giving. (As you all know a noun is a person, place, or thing and then the verb is an action.) I am sincerely hoping that my "love" for my family, friends, and more importantly God, is more than just a "thing". I hope people can see the love that I have in all that I do. I  pray that I do the things I need to in order to show those that I do love just how much I love them.

One of my favorite all time scriptures:

"We love because he first loved us." 1John 4:19

Once again, we owe it all to God. When I became a wife and a mother I realized what true love really was from a human perspective. The fact that I would walk into a burning building to save my children, that I would give one of my organs if it meant saving my husband's life or one of my children's lives, that I will continually lay down my own will to honor my husband as the leader of our household; this is a love that I never realized before God gave me these gifts. To think of all those things and then realize that God loves us exponentially more is truly humbling. How does anything that I have compare to that? Thank God that He totally understands how "human" we really are and loves us anyway.

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” John 13:34-35

Day 12: Remembering God

So, we went to church yesterday for Saturday night service and our pastor was so funny. He was talking about how he journaled like a "dude" using bullet points in his "man book". I can't help but to laugh even now thinking about it. I realized from his sermon that as much as he "journals" like a "dude", I very much blog like a chick. :-)

Anyway, he went on to talk about a lot of other good stuff. He talked about "remembering God" and what God has done for you in the past to get you through trials in the future. I just had to pause for a moment because that is exactly what has gotten me through this so far. I have lost a great deal in my life. I am not saying it is more or less than the next person but it has still left its mark on my heart.

I have been very open about our struggles to have our children, losing 5 babies in the process. Yet, God was faithful in giving us each of our children that we get to hold in our arms today. Each of them, their own puzzle piece to my heart, completely unique and completely irreplaceable. I can tell you in the time of each loss though I didn't understand, very much like how I don't understand why I have cancer today. I don't ask why I have cancer, I just don't understand the big picture yet, I hope that makes sense.

At the time of each loss, all I felt was the pain at first and then moment by moment God continued to reveal and remind me of His love. Finally, I would understand. For example, if we would have had our baby boy in 2009, we would have never had Kearyn. That is a certainty, as it would have been physically impossible. At the time, there isn't anything that would have caused me to give up my baby boy, even the promise of Kearyn. But now, I can't imagine it being any different as she has truly completed our family and not because she is a girl but because she is Kearyn.  

As I said before, I don't know why I am going through cancer at 31 years of age with four little ones at home. I don't know why I will have to go through chemo for 4-6 months and feel yucky more often than not. But I do know God has the big picture all mapped out. It is my job to be obedient in my faith putting one foot in front of the other even on the hard days.

I would like to think that maybe someone will be led to Christ through my story or perhaps someone's faith becomes deeper or more real to them. The thoughts of those things help me get through the tough moments as well. Ultimately, I realize those things aren't up to me. It is my job to teach and plant the seeds that God calls me to, it is His job to save, and that person's job to believe. We all must do our part in order for the big picture to become visible.

How I Feel:
I felt pretty good today. I just get tired easily and have to take frequent naps. I am thankful that I have so much help and support right now to keep all the pieces of our family going. We are truly blessed.

Prayer Request:
Please continue to pray for the health of our family.

Funny of the Day:
This will probably only make sense if you have or had little ones... Jason was feeding the baby and doing the classic airplane thing with the spoon to get her to take her final bites. (You pretend the spoon is an airplane and make the little noises and pretend to "fly" into the baby's mouth.) Later on, Creide was eating and he started doing the airplane spoon to himself. It was so funny! I guess maybe you had to be there.

Daily Devotional: Romans 8 - Part 1

After I requested for all of you to start sending me your devotionals I have been so pleased with your response! Every time I seem to need a little pick-me-up I check my email and low and behold there is more scripture there waiting for me. I love it!

As promised, I am sharing one of the many many ways God spoke to me yesterday...

It started with some scripture that my dear friend Julie sent me from Montana. 

³¹ What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? 

Romans 8:31 (NIV)

So, in classic Andrea style, I love to read large chunks of scripture so I started by reading that paragraph, and then I ended up reading the whole chapter! It was so good. :-) God just revealed so much to me that I am going to break it up into several posts because it just goes on and on!

Here is the first:

⁵ Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. ⁶ The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace. ⁷ The mind governed by the flesh is hostile to God; it does not submit to God’s law, nor can it do so. ⁸ Those who are in the realm of the flesh cannot please God. (Romans 8:5-8)

This scripture just screamed out to my heart! It is like God was telling me, "See, this is what I have been saying to you all along!" This is the "peace" that I found only through the Spirit amidst this storm in my life. Praise God for giving us such wonderful words in our time of need. Praise God for his guidance and reassurances.  

I pray as you read this scripture it speaks to you as well. I know that I am not the only one who's going through tough times right now. Despite what you are going through I hope and pray that God provides you with the peace that is mentioned in this scripture. 


May God Bless you all! 

A Personal Request

Hello Again!

I just feel like I have so much information right now, hence, the 3rd post of the night!

I do have a personal request to each and every one of you. While I am going through chemo I would really like a series of devotionals to keep my focus on The Cross and not what I am going through. I would like devotionals for the day of my chemo and the tough days after. I am requesting that each of you who read this send me a devotional, or two, or three, however many you want to send! You can email them to me at andreagressman@gmail.com for now. Hopefully in the future I will have someone here locally that can be "in charge" of these for me, just getting them and printing them out for me for my treatment days but for now you can email them to me.

This can be anything from a scripture or two that God really used to speak to you and then a couple of thoughts on how He spoke to you, etc. or if you are like me, you can write pages and pages, I don't care. It would just bless me so much if you could do this for me. Also, young writer's are WELCOME! If you have a child that has been praying for our family and they would like to put something together for me, I would love to read that as well.

If you don't even know me, I don't care. We know the same God and He loves us both.

If you live in another town, state, or country - this is a way you can bless me greatly.

I have an estimated 4-6 months of treatments every two weeks. I know I will need a lot of God's word to keep me going during this time. So, tell your moms, grandmas, aunts, friends.... I would love to hear from them all!

If you email it to me just put "Devotional" in the subject line and that way I will know to save it for my "tough" days.

If you need to drop it off or mail it, you can always drop it by or mail it to Grace Community Church and they will get it to me.

Thank you all from the bottom of my heart for blessing me in this way. It means so much to me.

~Andrea

New Blog...

So, I have ended up posting some of my devotionals, etc. here on this blog and I know that some of you only want to use me for the pictures of my kids and the occasional family update....(just kidding) but I have decided to branch off and start a separate blog for my writing. You are all invited to jump over there and read my stuff (hopefully I will be posting a little something each day) but you certainly don't have to. This is just a way for me to keep more of a portfolio of my writing. If you would like to take a look here you go.....

Daily Ramblings by Andrea Gressman

One Word...Faith

I was recently on a blog that featured writing prompts and it asked a question that got me thinking. The question was, "Give ONE WORD that you would use to describe 2010." Simple enough, right? Yeah, easier said then done.

I thought about this and reflected upon all the events of the year....good and bad. Finally it hit me. My word....

Faith.

This year was all about walking by faith and not by sight. Trusting the Lord in all that I do and all that I am. The second part has actually proven to be a little more difficult than I thought. I have had to learn to trust God in the ways that He has made ME. I have had to trust that the gifts He has given me are sufficient to accomplish the ministry work that He wants me to accomplish. I have had to stop worrying about what others think I should do or how they want me to be like. I don't need to be like others, I just need to be like Christ.

The second part of the question was what word do you want to use to describe 2011 in a year from now? I hope the I can use the word GROWTH. It isn't the most glamorous word I know. Hope, faith, love....those all sound so....happy. Growth...it doesn't flow off the ol' tongue like the others do. But I really hope it is a year of spiritual growth, personal growth, ministry growth....really, all-areas-of-my-life growth! I don't want one area to not be given over to God to transform and be used for His will. So, that is my prayer for the coming year. I want to GROW closer to God, closer to my family, closer to my friends.

How about you? What word would you describe your 2010? What word do you hope to use to describe your 2011? Feel free to share your thoughts.

Okay, I'm Listening....

Yesterday I opened my bible randomly to start my devotional time which I do sometimes. I opened it up to 2 Chronicles. I remember thinking, "Huh, I haven't spent much time here before," and started to browse through my study bible. One of the featured scriptures was 2 Chronicles 7:14. I read it and thought, "That's nice," and then kept on reading. But I quickly became distracted by thoughts of Christmas so I abandoned the Chronicles for the story of the birth of Jesus which always touches my heart and prepares me for the season. After that I went about my merry day. 

A little day I was spending some time on my blog and I just felt compelled to flip through a couple of other blogs of people I didn't know. When I got to about the 3rd blog something struck me. It was a blog from a pastor and his featured scripture of the day was.....you guessed it 2 Chronicles 7:14. Okay God.....I am listening. 

Although all scripture is good as it is inspired by God himself, for whatever reason that day He wanted me in 2 Chronicles. I selfishly did not want to be there as I wanted to experience the warm fuzzy feeling of Christmas by spending time in Matthew and Luke reading about the birth of Christ which I have studied many, many different times. I have not studied the Chronicles as much and so it makes a lot of sense that God would want me to spend more time there studying and learning about something new. 

For those of you who aren't familiar with 2 Chronicles 7:14 here you go:

"If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land." 2 Chronicles 7:14

That is a pretty powerful scripture in itself and I do feel very convicted to pray even more for my nation and my community but I think the lesson that I learned from this scripture was even more powerful then that. I learned that I cannot go before God even when it concerns the bible, especially when it comes to the bible. I need to "seek His face" and let God guide me where He wants me to go....especially through the bible as that is one of His most powerful ways of communicating with us. 

Thank you God for patiently teaching me and reminding me of such things. 

The Write Way to Worship...

Do you ever have one of those God moments and your just think to yourself, "Why did I not think of that before?" Well, I seem to have those all of the time but one of these moments happened to me very recently that I wanted to share with you.

If you are a regular visitor to my blog you probably have noticed that my postings have kicked it up a notch in frequency. I have always been a writer. I LOVE writing. Most of you probably didn't know about that because I have kept it pretty quiet throughout my life. My mom is probably reading this right now going...huh, I never knew that. Just kidding Mom!

Since I was in 2nd grade I remember vividly thinking that it would truly be my hearts dream to be a writer and even publish a book someday. Of course I never shared this with anyone and then you start hearing how hard it is to make it as a "writer." You hear how hard it is to get published and so on and so forth until, like a lot of aspiring writers, your dream fizzles out into a distant memory.

I would have people periodically encourage me throughout the years that I did need to pursue this venture after reading something I wrote but I didn't pay much attention. After all, if it was so hard to get published then I didn't stand a chance. So, I just wrote for my own pleasure or lack there of. I would mostly write when I was frustrated or hurting. That was really how I would cope with most anything throughout my life. Jason, my dear husband, could always tell when something was wrong because I would be frantically writing in one of my journals and I can just imagine what was going through his mind....."Here we go again...." (I thank God daily that He gave me such a patient and tolerant man!)

A little over six months ago I just felt it pressed upon my heart that I needed to write more. If I would have heard God audibly it probably would have sounded something close to this...."write, write, write." Something so basic, so simple, nothing flashy. Just one word, one command. I was obedient. I started writing about anything and everything that came to mind. I literally have hundreds of things written, stored up for whatever reason or no reason at all. For some reason though (of course we know the reason) I started writing lots of devotionals. I loved it! I had never written like that before and it felt amazing. This was exactly what God wanted me to do.

So, here we are. (Fast forward six months later....) I have this incredible desire to write but wait...I am a wife and a mom of four kids. I have other obligations. Certainly I don't have time for writing. I should be doing more important things like laundry......(sounds silly to some of you....laundry over being obedient to God.....others are agreeing with me :-) That is when it hit me like a ton of bricks. This is my form of worship. I know, I know...painfully simplistic and really quite embarrassing. I had heard about people that had other forms of worship other than the traditional music form that comes to mind but that really couldn't apply to me, right? Wrong.

Here is where you come in. Thank you so much for reading. Thank you for your encouraging thoughts, words and prayers. It is my hearts desire to glorify God in all that I do and all that I write. It is my prayer that through the words that God gives me that He can inspire, touch, and give hope. If you can join me in prayer for that I would be so grateful. I want to get my story out there. I want to share how God's love has changed my life so drastically and more importantly I want others to know and experience God's love for themselves. I am praying for platforms and opportunities to do just that. Thank you again from the bottom of my heart for reading this participating in my worship to the Lord. There are no words....

To See God or Not...

I had quite the day today. It started out good. Wednesday mornings are always kind of a down time for our family as Jason doesn't have to go into work until later. So, we usually do a big breakfast and then get started on school before we all head our separate ways just after lunch. This morning was no different. I made homemade pancakes which I usually do at least once a week. Then Cale and Ky started their school work. I love Wednesdays because Jason gets to help the boys with their school and I always enjoy watching and listening to them interact with one another.

After our great morning we all got ready to leave the house to our separate events. Jason has work, Cale to basketball practice, and I have leadership training all at the same time. Jason took the boys and left a few minutes before I left the house with the baby. As I am walking out our back door I see the problem...... Our gate is standing wide open and our two dogs are no where to be found. Jason calls right at that moment. I tell him about the situation and he tells me he will take care of it. However, he is already in town which is 30 minutes away. He also informs me that he is having some issues with our car insurance. In the middle of our conversation our call gets dropped. At this time I see our dogs way down the road so I go after them.

I finally get them in the Suburban. We do not have small dogs either. Our big dog is around 130 pounds. Our other dog is a yellow lab and he is probably half that size. The two together make quite the load. I finally get Jason back on the phone and tell him that I have the dogs but don't have time to go back to the house as I am already going to be late for my training so he says he will just meet me there at the church.

The whole way in the dogs are not behaving. They are climbing all over the seats (leather seats) and just being big pains. I am of course driving and can't do anything about it except yell at them every once in a while which does absolutely nothing. I finally get to the church and get to my training 5 minutes late which always puts my stomach in knots. Jason is agitated too because now he has to deal with the dogs at the church.

My training was phenomenal as usual but as soon as I get done Jason starts to tell me about the issues he is having with our car insurance. For whatever reason they kept saying the my driver's license was not valid. So, with 3 kids and 2 dogs I have to head to the DMV because they won't give any information out over the phone. I am frustrated at the insurance company. Of course my driver's license was valid! I was not happy that I have to go to the DMV either. No one likes to go to the DMV.

As I walk in the DMV I explain my situation to the lady behind the counter. She asks if I just called and I said yes. She said, "I am sure you are really happy to have to drag all of your kids down here aren't you?" Although I wasn't happy to be there I still appreciated the safe-guard that they were putting in affect in order to prevent such things like identity theft so I told her that I really didn't mind (and it was of course not her fault, so why take it out on her) and that I appreciated the process.

It turns out that there was a glitch in the system somewhere that said that I had surrendered my license to another state, which of course was not true. So they had to call that other state and get it cleared up for me. As I was waiting there for about an hour for this process to occur I asked the lady what would have happened if I would have gotten pulled over and she said that I would have most likely received a ticket. I have been driving around with an invalid driver's license for over a year and I didn't even know it. Finally, they got the situation cleared up and I was on my way home with my 3 kids, 2 dogs, and a partridge in a pear tree. (I am just kidding about the partridge in a pear tree. I just threw that in there because it sounded good.) I picked up Cale and headed home. As I was driving down my long driveway a song came on that I have been wanting to hear for a while now. I have never gotten to listen to the whole song so as I pulled up to the house I just sat for an extra moment and listened.

I came in and started to think about what a mess my day had been. As I sat and fed the baby I started thinking about all the things that irritated me. First of all the dogs....Well, at least they got out before I left instead of after I left. Who knows where they would have been if that would have happened. At least I was able to get them back and I didn't have to look my 3 sweet little blue eyed boys in the eye and tell them I couldn't find their dogs.

I thought of the insurance company that I was irritated at.....If it weren't for them notifying us of this problem I would have never known about it. They of course were just doing their job. What if I would have gotten pulled over and gotten a ticket? How much time would that have taken to fix and money?

I started to think of the DMV.....I did get to walk right in. How many times to you go to the DMV and there is this ridiculous line. Plus the lady was very nice and very helpful. I could have gotten some grouchy, unhelpful person. I also got to listen to the song that I hadn't been able to listen to yet. Only God's timing could have done all that.

As I pondered the events of the day my heart softened. I realized that God was actually in the midst of all of it. These things were not there to irritate me but to actually protect me from things that could have been so much worse. I could have gone to bed tonight still fuming about how my plans had not gone accordingly instead of seeing God's presence and protection in the midst of it all. If it weren't for Him, I could be going to bed tonight with a situation that was much worse. So, although things didn't go according to my plan I find myself thankful that things did go according to His. Thank you God!

Praying in Public....

My mother-in-law actually passed on the following story to me and I thought I would share it. We always pray at mealtime even if we are at a restaurant and one of the boys almost always prays for us. I am sure I wouldn't be too happy if someone did this to one of my kids. Fortunately, we usually receive a favorable reaction from those who overhear my children praying. Anyway, I thought I would pass this on and see what you all thought of it....

THE STORY BEGINS....

Last week, I took my grand-children to a restaurant. My six-year-old grand-son asked if he could say grace.
As we bowed our heads he said, "God is good, God is great. Thank you for the food, and I would even thank you more if Nana gets us ice cream for dessert.. And liberty and justice for all! Amen!"

Along with the laughter from the other customers nearby, I heard a woman remark, "That's what's wrong with this country. Kids today don't even know how to pray. Asking God for ice cream! Why, I never!"

Hearing this, my grand-son burst into tears and asked me, "Did I do it wrong? Is God mad at me?"

As I held him and assured him that he had done a terrific job, and God was certainly not mad at him, an elderly gentleman approached the table.

He winked at my grand-son and said, "I happen to know that God thought that was a great prayer."

"Really?" my grand-son asked.

"Cross my heart," the man replied.

Then, in a theatrical whisper, he added (indicating the woman whose remark had started this whole thing), "Too bad she never asks God for ice cream. A little ice cream is good for the soul sometimes."

Naturally, I bought my grand-children ice cream at the end of the meal. My grand-son stared at his for a moment, and then did something I will remember the rest of my life.

He picked up his sundae and, without a word, walked over and placed it in front of the woman. With a big smile he told her, "Here, this is for you. Ice cream is good for the soul sometimes; and my soul is good already."


The End

The Temper Tantrum

Recently I was attempting to reason with my 2 year old (now 3 year old) when he decided that all negotiations were off and threw himself in the floor to begin a temper tantrum. It doesn’t seem to matter how many times he does this I still get irritated. He is our third child and I don’t seem to remember our first two children engaging in such behavior as frequently as our third son. 

I know for a fact that my first son only threw two tantrums in his toddler years and I know that my second son threw a few more then that but it didn’t seem to be as many as our third baby boy has participated in. We have always said that our third son is the most dramatic one of the bunch so I guess that tantrums fit in with that part of his personality.

This time as he began the tantrum process I just watched him instead of going right into discipline mode. It made me think of us as the human race. It made me think of myself as an individual, our family, our church body and so on down the line. I began to think of how many times I have not gotten “my way” and thrown a tantrum. Sure, I didn’t get down in the floor, kick and scream and carry on but I started to really think about my heart condition. How many times have I “pouted” before God because I simply did not get my way?!?

I thought of the tantrums that my children have thrown. In my heart as their parent I was restricting them from something that would be harmful to them in some way. Sometimes they could potentially harm themselves physically, sometimes character-wise, and sometimes something even more serious such as spiritual damage. As a parent, I was trying to keep my child safe from something. So, why cannot we give that same trust to our own Heavenly Father who is far more intelligent then we can ever dream to be. How come it is that we don’t trust the one that knows the past, future, and present? If we had that same kind of insight how would that change the way we disciplined our children?

As I watched my two year old continue his tantrum I tried to think of what this looks like through God’s eyes. How patient and loving our Father is to allow each of us to go through our own personal “tantrums” sometimes multiple times a day! Oh praise God for his patience and wisdom. Praise Him for not becoming agitated as I do when my own children act in such a way. I couldn't help but to think of the following scripture....

"because the Lord disciplines the one he loves, 

   and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.” Hebrews 12:6

"My son, do not despise the LORD’s discipline, 

   and do not resent his rebuke, 
because the LORD disciplines those he loves, 
   as a father the son he delights in." Proverbs 3: 11-12