There is a Turtle in My Bathtub

I am serious.

There is a turtle in my bathtub right now as we speak… errr write.

Now before you turn me in for animal cruelty or give me some lecture on how irresponsible it is for me to have a turtle in my bathtub for 1000 different reasons let me explain….There is absolutely a good reason for this… or at least I think there is.

I was driving down the road and it had been one of those crazy kind of days. And I mean crazy!

I was operating on about 2 hours of sleep and with the birth of our 5th child only 4 weeks before I was a bit sleep deprived long before this day had arrived. But my baby was sick and a mama just can’t sleep when her baby is sick… or at least I can’t. So, I sat up and held him. I made him as comfortable as possible and just loved on him.

So I had taken him to the doctor that afternoon and then was on my way to the grocery store to get him some stuff the doctor told me to get for him. That is when I saw something on the road…

Yep, a turtle.

It was a narrow road and he was making his way past the white line so I immediately pulled over. Kind of like Dukes of Hazzard but in a very safe and responsible mom sort of way. Okay, so I used my blinker and merged over. But in my mind it was much more dramatic.

I don’t know much about turtles except they have shells and what I have learned from watching Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles… which did not help me much in this situation I have to say.

Did you also know that they have claws and are seriously feisty??? No laughing if you already knew that. And maybe they aren’t called claws but they sure felt like it.

So, I pick the little guy up and set him in the floor of my van. I tried to find a box but what do you know…. my van that usually has so much stuff in it that a small army could live out of it for a week was completely bare because it had just been cleaned out. And I mean completely. Hmm… well, how much harm can a turtle do, right?

Well that whole concept of turtles being slow… not true my friend. Not true. That turtle was seriously doing laps in the van and I mean laps. It even tried to climb my seatbelt which kind of freaked me out, I am not going to lie. All I kept telling myself was to not get in an accident and especially not get in a wreck because this turtle freaked me out. That would be super awkward to explain to the police officer that is for sure.

“So ma’am, what you are telling me is that you hit the light pole because the turtle that you have loose in your vehicle scared you….”

“Yes….sir….”

“And why did you have a turtle in your car?”

I obviously had no plan here other than the fact that I was saving a turtles life and that seemed like a good idea at a time.

I blame my husband too. (Yeah, he will appreciate me throwing that in here too. ;-) ) He had just told the kids about how he had found a turtle when he was a kid and kept it for a couple of days and then turned it loose again. I was thinking that the kids would like to see this cool little creature and then we could have this festive celebration of the turtle while releasing him back into the wild… a much safer wild with no narrow roads with white lines to worry about….

Finally, I did make it home. The kids were amazed and shrieked with awe and wonder… score 1 for mom. They started looking and studying it… score another one for mom. (As a homeschool mom you are always looking for ways to inspire kids to learn… even if that means pulling the van over to the side of the road and waiting as 30 cars whip past you… okay so maybe it was only 3 cars but still… and rescuing a turtle.

So, my week continued on to be crazy. A couple more days with a sick baby and even less sleep. a 7th birthday for my 3rd son. Soccer practices, volleyball games, more schoolin’… and a turtle in my bathtub. I kind of feel like that just demonstrates my life. No matter how much I try to have it together… how much I plan… how much I prepare… this totally random stuff just happens and we have to make the best of it… or not. That is the choice we have. You have to roll with the punches or let them knock  you down. I do my best to make the best of it and wring every ounce of joy out of life that I can.

Soon the turtle… no I didn’t name it… if I name something I automatically want to keep it… will be released at a pond where he (or she… I don’t know that either) can go on to do turtle things and live happily ever after (or so we hope) and I will clean my bathroom (turtles are surprisingly messy) and prepare for whatever adventure comes along next week. And I know that my kids won’t remember the day-to-day mundane tasks that we do in order to get through school and life in general but I know that they will remember things like the turtle in our bathtub…. and I hope they smile. I hope they even get a little chuckle out of it and tell their kids these funny stories too. Because this is what makes life interesting. That is what makes life fun.

So, if you managed to read this far… thanks. You will also be happy to know that the turtle was released and is on its happy little turtle way. :-)

See you next time Mr. or Mrs. Turtle. We sincerely hope you have a joyful life. And the next time you see the white line… turn around and go the other way. :-)

the blur of life: {Broken arms, birthdays, and sickness}

I can't believe how fast this last week has gone by.
And I tell you my emotions have been all over the board.
I went from the elation of getting good scan results.
To the pit in just over a 48 hour period.

It would not be appropriate for me to discuss the details of our struggles right now.
I know that is tough for some of you to take because you are so sweet to us and it is tough for me not to be open and share.
To bare my heart as you have all allowed me to do time and time again on here.
But I just can't.
Just please know that it is not cancer related - so don't panic there.
And yes, we will take your prayers.:-)

For wisdom.
Guidance.
Strength.
Clarity.
Healing.
Protection.
And anything else you want to throw in there.
You won't hear any complaints from me.

Anyway, our week was such a blur and I really don't like that because I feel like I can't soak up every minute of life.
And that is really all I want to do.
Life is precious.

First, God has really blessed me with some extra work right now.
For those of you who don't know - I am actually grinding it out as a freelance writer.
(Not a big surprise for some but probably a huge surprise for others.)
The typical response I get is, "You can actually make money writing?"

For those of you who have done freelance work or who work for themselves, you know how it goes.
You take the work when you can get it.
But I love it.
I get to do what I love.
And I get to stay home with my babies.
Which I love even more.
I am blessed.

I have had some frustration along the way of course.
Mainly because I had my client list going pretty well and then cancer decided to come along.
I worked for as long as I could.
Until I honestly had nothing left.
And then I had to say goodbye to most of my clients.
Some of them, miraculously, stood by patiently until I was able to return to work - which really only happened a couple of months ago.
Even then, I had to start out very small.
Only working a tiny bit each day or the fatigue was just too much.

For any of you who know me you can imagine how well that went over.
It didn't.
My whole life if I have wanted to do something I have just done it.
Cancer was different.
I couldn't will my way through it.
And the harder I tried, the worse it was for me.

Anyway, that was a rabbit hole and I definitely chased it.

I have been blessed with some new clients lately and it has just been a scheduling adjustment.
But I don't dare turn it down.

So, we were trying to go away for hunting camp so I had to work extra to get caught up enough to leave.
You know how that goes.

But here is a glimpse of all the other stuff that happened along the way.

Wednesday: 
Received the super cool news that I am still cancer free.
Creide fell off the trampoline even though we have a enclosure thing, which will be relevant here shortly.

Thursday:
I was supposed to decorate a wedding about an hour away. (For those of you who don't know, I used to decorate weddings before I was diagnosed.) Got to site to decorate and the manager of the location didn't let the construction people know about the wedding and so there was construction stuff everywhere. Glad I did not have either of those peoples jobs. Needless to say, I was unable to decorate.

Also discovered that the swelling from Creide's arm has not gone away and we begin to think he may have broke his arm. (The second broken arm for him in less than 3 years and he was only 4 at the time.) I take him to the ER. They do x-rays. Creide charms the ER staff and gets about 100 stickers because of it and they release us saying that it is good to go.

Friday: 
Get ready to go back to the wedding site that morning and receive a call that they were able to get it done the night before so I can scratch that off my to do list.

Get a call from the ER doctor saying we need to come back in for more X-rays. Upon closer examination of the first X-rays there appears to be swelling in the elbow.

Go back to the hospital and get more X-rays. They were all super cool by the way. Still could not tell if there was a break in the elbow but there was definitely fluid, so they decided to treat it as a break.

Continue to pack for trip.

Go to my oldest son's first volleyball game of the season. Oh, I forgot to mention that I co-coach his team as well.

Go home and continue to prepare for our trip.

Saturday:
Leave for trip.
Arrive safely.

Sunday:
I wake up sick with the head cold my kiddos had a couple of weeks ago.

Monday:
Even sicker

Tuesday:
Creide's birthday.

I manage to drag myself out of the camper to celebrate with him. Make a rockin' awesome batch of Peach French Toast for breakfast. Homemade mac n' cheese for lunch with pork chops, french fries, and mini-corndogs... all on a campfire. (Thanks to my hubby for all his help.) These were all Creide's favorites.

Wednesday:
Get up super early and leave to come home so Cale and I can make it back in time for volleyball practice.
Hubby has to work that night.
I have to take the two little boys their soccer practices.

Thursday:
Oldest boy has another vball game in a town about an hour away.

Oh yeah, I am still sick.
It is no wonder I am so tired.

That was like a marathon blog post.
Thanks for enduring if you made it this far. :-)

Blessings.



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time.

If you have been reading along you will know that in less than 24 hours we receive some big news.
I have been doing a lot off processing.
A lot of coping.
A lot of praying.

But I have been trying my best not to make that my sole focus.
So, I ask my self questions.
Like, if this was the last day before I find out I have to go back into treatment - how do I want to spend it?
Or, how would I want to remember this day by?
It really puts things in perspective for me and forces me into a different mode.
One of living.
Not one of fear.

So, yesterday we spent a little time in Ouray.
We watched the fish.
Played on the playground.
Walked the streets.
Ate yummy food.
Ate ice cream.
Had great company.

It was wonderful.
Yes, win, lose, or draw, I can look back on that day with no regrets.
Because we simply had time.
Time with each other.
Time with friends.
Time doing something fun.
Time making memories.

Honestly, I could not ask for more.

So, I wanted to share some of the memories we made.
Enjoy as we enjoyed.

   

  

More to come....

Happy Birthday Jason!!!

Today is Jason's birthday. We are so grateful to be able to call this man {husband} and {daddy}. :-)

There are no words to describe the {heart} that this man has. If you know him, you just can't help but to want to know him better. If you don't know him, you don't know what you are missing out on.

For those of you who don't know {our} story.... Jason and I actually went to the same daycare together. I was 7 and he was 8. I remember him doing things like bouncing his little brother off of the trampoline and giving him a bloody nose. But I also remember him doing things like taking the food that his brother didn't like so his little brother wouldn't get in trouble for not eating it. (Hey, that is sweet when your 8 years old.)

I remember him in middle school and junior high - he was SOOO much taller than the other boys - how could you miss him! People ask if we dated in high school. The answer... Jason would have had to talk to me in order for us to date. You see, Jason was one of the shyest people I have ever met. He definitely didn't talk to girls and since I was a girl - he didn't talk to me. Although, there is a lovely story about him having to run a lap on the baseball field because of me. :-) (Jason - you should have been paying attention to your coach instead of the track girls running behind the backstop. :-) You all can ask him about that the next time you see him. LOL!

The truth is, I was actually the one that had to ask Jason on our first date. (The one and only time I ever asked a boy on a date, thank goodness - and he really wasn't a boy anymore, we were in our early 20's.) What can I say - desperate times called for desperate measures. (Remember the shyness thing...I always say that if I would have waited for him to ask me out on a date then our children still would not have been born.) :-) Needless to say, things worked out. ;-)

The one thing that you have to know about J is that he has always been a good person. He has always been a gentleman. You never heard him say high school boy things (yeah, we don't even need to go there) and to all the youth group high school boys that happen to be reading this (yes, the 1) I, of course, know that you would never say anything like what I am referring to. ;-)

Anyway, J is the most amazing husband and I should know because I have thoroughly tested him. This past year he has taken amazing care of me and our children when I could not even take care of myself - let alone 4 kids! When I was going through chemo he had to be both mom and dad and thank goodness my chemo didn't last any longer because he did such an amazing job I think I was about ready to lose my job. :-)

Here are just a few things that I will continually be thankful to Jason for....

Thank you, Jason, for saying yes to that nervous phone call all those many years ago. (Heck no, I didn't ask him in person - I am WAY too chicken for that.)
Thank you, Jason, for choosing me.
Thank you, Jason, for the sacrifices you have made for us.
Thank you, Jason, for putting up with me. (That in itself is a full-time job.)
Thank you, Jason, for taking care of me in sickness and in health.
Thank you, Jason, for taking care of my children when I could not.
Thank you, Jason, for being that type of daddy that you are.
Thank you, Jason, for modeling what a Godly man is supposed to be for my boys and what a Godly husband is supposed to look like for my daughter - even though she is never going to find a man that will live up to your standards... it is still a nice "theory".
Thank you, Jason, for loving us the way you do.
Thank you, Jason, for just being you.

We are so grateful for you each and everyday. As I was looking back through the pictures, so many memories came flooding back. I have loved every minute of our life together (even though there were some moments I didn't like so much - namely chemo and radiation). I would redo every second of it all over again just so I could be with you.

South Dakota days.

Alaska days.

Ky turning {one}.

Coming back from our camping trip. Creide sporting his new hat that the sheriff's deputy gave him because he felt bad for pulling us over - falsely suspecting that we had stole our camper. (This stuff only happens to us :-)

Our special day.

{us}

Thank you for the memories. We love you dearly.

Happy Father's Day Daddy!

Dear Daddy,
The four Gressman kids would sincerely like to wish you a Happy Daddy's Day!
We love you so much and thank God that you are our daddy every day!

We know we can be rowdy and a rambunctious bunch -
We make messes faster than you and mom can clean them up -
We also get into things we are not suppose to from time to time -
But at the end of the day - we know you still love us. :-)
Because honestly, what is not to love!

Here is a message from each of your precious four!

Cale (age 11): Have a Happy Father's Day! Thank you for being our dad. You are a great father to us. You have always been able to get us through hard times. Thank you for being our dad. Happy Father's Day!

Ky (age 5): Happy Father's Day! I want to go camping and swimming. :-)

Creide (age 3): Happy Father's Day! Can you take me fishing? :-)

Kearyn (age 1): Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da! (Screeching noise....) Da-da-da-da-da-da!
(I am sure she was saying something like: Daddy, I love you! Can you take me shopping? - Just a rough interpretation. :-)

From your loving wife:
J - You are the best husband and father a girl can ask for. It is so amazing to watch you each and every day with our children. You are truly raising up our boys to be Godly men and our little girl - well, she will definitely be well protected. I see your love for them each and every moment and that gives my heart so much joy. Thanks for all you do - each and every day for our family and so many others. It is such an honor to be your wife. With all my love, A.

April 2011

April 2011 was a busy month for us. Jason started the month off by having the privilege of marrying some dear friends of ours.....congratulations Ryan & Katy!

Two days later we had our own anniversary which was marked by a quiet dinner (minus 3 of the 4 children) which allowed for some wonderful time for conversation.

April also meant two more chemo treatments. During the 1st chemo treatment of the month (#5 in total) I was told that I would need 3 more treatments for sure. That of course is not news you want to hear but I had expected it. It was during my 6th treatment that I learned that I now would need 6 more treatments for a total of 12. This was pretty tough news for me but I desperately tried to look on the bright side - if I go the 12 treatments then I hopefully won't have to have radiation. The idea of radiation was one that both Jason and I were struggling with and had been praying for clarity on whether or not I should have it. So we were thankful that God really took that decision out of our hands and made it for us.

We also remembered our baby boy that we lost 2 years ago. This was a difficult time for me especially since I was going through my 6th chemo treatment at the same time but God got me through it. I am so grateful for the love and support of so many of my friends who reached out to me in that time with an encouraging word, a warm hug, or even a soothing gift. I know so many of you know my pain out there and I thank you so much for your comfort in my time of need. Thank you for all of those who are praying for me as well. It really means so much to me.

April also marked some great things for our kids. Our 5 year old son is now participating in soccer. This is his first team sport and it is exciting for him. In his very first game he scored his first goal. I was grateful to be able to be there to watch this happen for him. He is a very natural athlete but he takes after his dad and does not like to run so his preferred position is goaly. But he does a really good job playing forward - especially when he puts his mind to it.

Our oldest son participated in his first track meet in April as well. He took after his mama this year and ran distance. He ended up running the mile, the 400 meter, and the 800 meter at his track meet (the exact same races I use to run! :-) It was so exciting to watch him and he did so good! Again, I was thankful that I was able to be there to watch him.

Our three year old is as funny and dramatic as ever and the baby is now teething once again - which has not been fun in the least for any of us involved. I cannot wait until she gets this one in. It breaks my heart to see her in pain.

We also celebrated Easter this month. I was just a few days past chemo and usually I am not up and around until at least the Monday or Tuesday after my chemo treatments so I basically willed myself well enough to go and I am so thankful that I did. Our church puts on a giant Easter egg hunt which the kids really enjoyed and then just being able to be present in church on such a special day was wonderful. I was pretty wiped out the next couple of days because of it but it was worth it.

So, that was April 2011 in a nutshell. I am sure I am forgetting a few things so if I remember something significant later on I will post about it then. We are now on to May.....it is sure to be an exciting month!

The Gressman Family......Hand In Hand

I don't think I have hid the fact for a second that I could not get through any of this without my family. My husband takes such good care of me and leads our household so well. My children, there are just no words to describe my love for them. Just one look at them and it gives me the strength to get through what I need to.

This is MY FAMILY, hand in hand. 
There is NO place I would rather be. 

Family Motto: "Serve One as one"

Another wonderful photo by Jess Pollard. 

If you want to check out more of Jess' work you can check out her web site at http://www.jesspollardphotography.com/

October 2010

Hi all! So I totally realize how far behind that I am. I started this posting the first week of November and for whatever reason didn't finish it. I was browsing through all of my "on hold" blogs and saw this one still un-posted and it looked very lonely :-). I was tempted to delete it but realized that I HAD written several paragraphs already so I decided not to waste it. :-) So, here it is....

Another month down in the wonderful year of 2010. We have had such an exciting year that I just want to take a few moments to record some thoughts, events, and really just whatever about this past month! My goal is to do this for each month from here on out but I have a lot of thoughts and ideas that I currently am writing about and hoping to post soon so I am not sure if that is an attainable goal or not.

The month of October marked our 2nd son's 5th birthday on October 30th. This was a very exciting time for us. We can't believe that he is 5 now and it is so very bitter sweet. Sad because he is just growing so fast but oh so sweet  because he is doing so many wonderful and amazing things and I just really like the person that he is becoming. He is such a blessing and I just feel so honored that God chose me to be his mommy! (Will be posting about his birthday celebration shortly.)

We also gained a new family member this month in celebration to Ky's 5th birthday. We actually adopted another four legged friend from the local pound. He is a yellow lab, around a year old, and is so sweet. A perfect addition to our family. Ky named him Fletcher and he is quickly adjusting to the busyness of the Gressman household. A perfect place for an energetic puppy!

This month seemed to be marked with a lot of bitter sweets. At the beginning of the month we had to say goodbye to the pastor of our church which was heartbreaking as we will miss him so much. I do not think he will ever know how God has used him in my life, my husband's life, and the lives of our children. We don't know how we would even be close to where we are today without his wisdom, love and support. The sweet side of this is kind of two-fold. We deeply respect our former pastor and know that he is following God's will and that is exciting for us to see. Secondly, we have gained an incredible new pastor that Jason and I deeply respect and many times are just left in awe of his character and values. He is an amazing man and we can't wait to see how God uses him.

Another bitter/sweet, October 15th marked the Infant and Pregnancy Loss Remembrance Day. This is something that Jason and I are too familiar with unfortunately. I was asked by a dear sweet lady that coordinated the very first candlelight ceremony in our town  in honor of this day to actually come and share some of my poetry as well as a few words about what we have gone through. (To read more about that go here.) It is a topic that is very close to my heart and I continually pray that God is able to use me to help someone else that may be traveling this very difficult path in their own life. I have a few more pieces that I have been working on regarding this topic so I will save my words for those.

Another month behind us in 2010 as the holidays approach. We are excited to make new memories this year with our family and friends. God bless you all and we can't wait to continue to share. :-)

We are the Gressman's.....

We are the Gressman's....Jason-31, Andrea-31, Cale-10, Kylind "Ky"-4, Creide-2, and Kearyn-2 months. Yes, we are a family of 6 which from the reactions I get in the grocery store seems to be something of a rarity these days.

The first thing and most important thing we can say about our family is that we absolutely love the Lord. We do our best to serve as a family whenever we can. Our family motto: "Serve One as one." The story of how God revealed that to us will be told at another time.

Jason is a youth pastor and I work part-time for the church as an event coordinator. We love both positions. The kids that God brings into our lives each week on either a Wednesday or Thursday night for youth group are absolutely amazing. We do our best to love them as Christ loves us. This task is easy and challenging all at the same time but we embrace it as we know God has called us to do this.

Our children are amazing as well. Truly miracles from God and each and everyday I look at them and I am overwhelmed that God would entrust them to me. I am so grateful that God chose me to be their mom. I am truly left speechless and overwhelmed. Each and everyday I feel so blessed to have the husband that I have, the three handsome boys that I call "my sons" and my beautiful baby girl. Yes indeed, I am blessed.

We are the Gressman's.....

The First...

Since this is my first blog it got me thinking of some of the other "firsts" in our family. Like the first time I knew I was going to marry Jason or the first time I laid eyes on each of my children. The first time we found out we were actually going to have a girl (yeah, that was a scarey one!) and the list goes on and on. It doesn't seem that anyone of these firsts is any less important than the next but instead, all woven neatly together to create our family. The Gressman family of which I feel so blessed to be apart of. In fact, I would not trade it for the world! And as we travel along this road doing "life" as only the Gressman's can do it I hope you laugh with us, learn with us, grow with us, and yes, even sometimes cry with us but most of all enjoy life with us. Thank you for being apart of this "first" with us.