What is Love?

I was recently on StumbleUpon - another little internet addiction I am developing.
I saw this post where some experts asked little ones to define what love is.
Here are some of my favorite answers:

"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired." ~ Terri - age 4 

"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK."  ~ Danny - age 7 

"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen."  ~Bobby - age 7

"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate." 

~ Nikka - age 6 

"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well." ~ Tommy - age 6  

"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken." ~ Elaine - age 5

"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford." ~ Chris - age 7 

"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross." ~ Mark - age 6 

[sorry, this might be TMI but it made me laugh so I had to share.]

"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget." ~ Jessica - age 8 

What a beautiful pictures these little ones create. 

It is my hearts desire to create the same picture for my own children. 

I am determined that they know how much they are loved and how much their father is loved.

That is why I started this blog. 

That is why I continued as regularly as I could when I was going through treatment. 

I didn't know what was going to happen. 

I couldn't predict the future. 

But I could do something about today.

And I could leave bits and pieces of me. 

Bits and pieces of my love for them to find later on. 

Life is so precious my friends. 

I cannot remember for the life of me where I heard it. 

If you know maybe you can give me a shout so I can update this. 

But the other day I heard something along the lines of:

{It is a privileged to be able to grow old with someone.}

I could not agree more.

Yet so many of us take this for granted.

One final story from this same site:

Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child. 

The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. 

Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. 

When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, 

"Nothing, I just helped him cry." 

To read the full article go to: "What Does Love Mean?" See How 4-8 Year-Old Kids Describe Love"

life with him.

This is going to be difficult to get through.

I am already crying.

He has a way of bringing that out in me.

Tomorrow is a special day for us.

It is the anniversary of our wedding day.

We have lots of special days.

And he never forgets any of them. 

But I thought I would take a few minutes to reflect upon my life with him. 

Share.

Remember.

{Love.}

Life with him is pure joy.

Sure, we have had our share of trials.

(You have been here for many of them.)

But they have always been things that happened to us - not things between us.

(I hope that makes sense.)

Loving this man is so easy.

I delight in it each day.

And, in turn, I feel so loved by him.

There are no words to describe it. 

I wake up every morning and thank the Lord that he chose me.

Our life has been messy.

4 kids has a tendency to make life interesting anyway. 

But then there was more. 

Multiple job transfers.

Lots of moving. 

Many miscarriages.

Cancer.

And the list can go on and on. 

Anyone of those things could have been enough to take our marriage down.

But instead...

We have drawn closer.

Steadfast.

Unwavering.

And through all of this messiness I believe we have truly achieved the oneness that God speaks of. 

When I was diagnosed the thought of leaving this man was beyond heartbreaking. 

I knew he would make it through it. 

It would be hard - especially with the kids.

But he is strong.

He is faithful.

But I never want him to hurt.

And.

I had made a promise.

I promised him I would grow old with him.

Sure, it was made when we were young and thought we would live 100 years.

But it was still a promise.

Until that moment it never occurred to me that it could be any different. 

Questions would race through my mind.

Did he know how much I really loved him?

Did I love him well enough?

Did I love him enough to get him through the time we would be apart if I did leave this world so soon?

Did I honor him as I have been called to do?

Did I show my children the depth of my love for their father?

Did I model the love of a devoted wife so my daughter would know how to love her husband someday?

Did I receive his love the way I was supposed to so my son's would know how to love their wives someday?

I know these questions may not make sense to some.

Or may seem obsessive. 

But when I thought of not being here much longer I just wanted to make sure I was leaving those that I love with what they needed from me. 

Nothing else mattered. 

Not me. 

Not the pain I went through.

Just them.

Just him.

As we celebrate tomorrow I can honestly say....

There is no place I would rather be.

Next to him.

Loved by him.

Doing this life together. 

Serving One as One.

J - I love you so dearly. I delight in being your wife. Thank you for choosing me. Thank you for choosing this. Thank you for raising our children with me. Thank you for being the man you are - for leading our household the way you do. Thank you for always standing firm for what is right and continually shining the light of Jesus for me, our children, and all those around us. In the dark nights you have been my light - reminding me of how much Jesus loves me through your love. Thank you for cherishing me and nourishing me the way you do and for always showering me with the word of the Lord through your words, actions, and love. 

Your loving wife. 

Photo of the Day: {Little Boy Blue}

[creide.jaxton.7.4.12]

Completely random.

Unpredictable.

Impromptu.

A flicker.

A moment in time.

To be {cherished} forever.

I {treasure} these gifts.

The gift of a look.

Or a [sweet] smile.

For I know they are here only briefly.

A whisper. 

One day they will be grown.

They will be living the life they have been {called} to live.

And I will be thankful for the memories forever etched on my heart. 

{amg}

Birthday Celebration Part 1: Can You Say Sushi?

I was treated to a birthday lunch this week. It was delightful.

The best part....

I was able to share it with this man. :-) 

Photo of the Day: {kissing fish}

{kissing fish}

I am not really sure how this all transpired and I am pretty sure I do not want to know. Just in case you are wondering, Creide didn't actually kiss the fish - at least I don't think he did.

Sunday Scripture: {Psalm 106:1}

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good! His faithful love endures forever.

~ Psalm 106:1, NLT

Accomplishments: #2 {Sibling Harmony}

The other day I was standing at my kitchen window watching my three younger children play outside and I could not believe my eyes. They all three were actually getting along! Have you ever had one of those moments where you just have to run for the camera and take a picture to document the moment? This was one of those moments.

It is not a rarity for two of my children to get along at the same time.... but three...well that is truly something special. The most incredible thing about this situation is that Creide and Kearyn were actually getting along. He was actually pushing her on the swing and she was loving it. :-)

We call Creide the "equalizer" in our family and we are actually very thankful for that. You see, Cale and Ky will stop the world to make their baby sister happy. What Kearyn wants, Kearyn gets. But Creide is different. He still doesn't see what is so special about this little girl. All he knows is that he used to be the baby of the family and now he is not. There is no special favor deserved for such a betrayal.

But this particular afternoon was different.... As I look at these pictures I feel so much joy in my heart. I see joy on my children's faces and once again I realize how blessed they are to have each other. How blessed is this little girl to be able to grow up with her three big brothers watching over her? God is good.

Happy Birthday Jason!!!

Today is Jason's birthday. We are so grateful to be able to call this man {husband} and {daddy}. :-)

There are no words to describe the {heart} that this man has. If you know him, you just can't help but to want to know him better. If you don't know him, you don't know what you are missing out on.

For those of you who don't know {our} story.... Jason and I actually went to the same daycare together. I was 7 and he was 8. I remember him doing things like bouncing his little brother off of the trampoline and giving him a bloody nose. But I also remember him doing things like taking the food that his brother didn't like so his little brother wouldn't get in trouble for not eating it. (Hey, that is sweet when your 8 years old.)

I remember him in middle school and junior high - he was SOOO much taller than the other boys - how could you miss him! People ask if we dated in high school. The answer... Jason would have had to talk to me in order for us to date. You see, Jason was one of the shyest people I have ever met. He definitely didn't talk to girls and since I was a girl - he didn't talk to me. Although, there is a lovely story about him having to run a lap on the baseball field because of me. :-) (Jason - you should have been paying attention to your coach instead of the track girls running behind the backstop. :-) You all can ask him about that the next time you see him. LOL!

The truth is, I was actually the one that had to ask Jason on our first date. (The one and only time I ever asked a boy on a date, thank goodness - and he really wasn't a boy anymore, we were in our early 20's.) What can I say - desperate times called for desperate measures. (Remember the shyness thing...I always say that if I would have waited for him to ask me out on a date then our children still would not have been born.) :-) Needless to say, things worked out. ;-)

The one thing that you have to know about J is that he has always been a good person. He has always been a gentleman. You never heard him say high school boy things (yeah, we don't even need to go there) and to all the youth group high school boys that happen to be reading this (yes, the 1) I, of course, know that you would never say anything like what I am referring to. ;-)

Anyway, J is the most amazing husband and I should know because I have thoroughly tested him. This past year he has taken amazing care of me and our children when I could not even take care of myself - let alone 4 kids! When I was going through chemo he had to be both mom and dad and thank goodness my chemo didn't last any longer because he did such an amazing job I think I was about ready to lose my job. :-)

Here are just a few things that I will continually be thankful to Jason for....

Thank you, Jason, for saying yes to that nervous phone call all those many years ago. (Heck no, I didn't ask him in person - I am WAY too chicken for that.)
Thank you, Jason, for choosing me.
Thank you, Jason, for the sacrifices you have made for us.
Thank you, Jason, for putting up with me. (That in itself is a full-time job.)
Thank you, Jason, for taking care of me in sickness and in health.
Thank you, Jason, for taking care of my children when I could not.
Thank you, Jason, for being that type of daddy that you are.
Thank you, Jason, for modeling what a Godly man is supposed to be for my boys and what a Godly husband is supposed to look like for my daughter - even though she is never going to find a man that will live up to your standards... it is still a nice "theory".
Thank you, Jason, for loving us the way you do.
Thank you, Jason, for just being you.

We are so grateful for you each and everyday. As I was looking back through the pictures, so many memories came flooding back. I have loved every minute of our life together (even though there were some moments I didn't like so much - namely chemo and radiation). I would redo every second of it all over again just so I could be with you.

South Dakota days.

Alaska days.

Ky turning {one}.

Coming back from our camping trip. Creide sporting his new hat that the sheriff's deputy gave him because he felt bad for pulling us over - falsely suspecting that we had stole our camper. (This stuff only happens to us :-)

Our special day.

{us}

Thank you for the memories. We love you dearly.

{brotherly love}

For those of you who have boys you will understand what I am talking about. There is just this "brotherly love" that you cannot begin to explain. Recently we were at the park and I had an opportunity to document what I am talking about. I took this chance to show those of you who don't know what true brotherly love is all about. Here you go.... 

Happy Father's Day Daddy!

Dear Daddy,
The four Gressman kids would sincerely like to wish you a Happy Daddy's Day!
We love you so much and thank God that you are our daddy every day!

We know we can be rowdy and a rambunctious bunch -
We make messes faster than you and mom can clean them up -
We also get into things we are not suppose to from time to time -
But at the end of the day - we know you still love us. :-)
Because honestly, what is not to love!

Here is a message from each of your precious four!

Cale (age 11): Have a Happy Father's Day! Thank you for being our dad. You are a great father to us. You have always been able to get us through hard times. Thank you for being our dad. Happy Father's Day!

Ky (age 5): Happy Father's Day! I want to go camping and swimming. :-)

Creide (age 3): Happy Father's Day! Can you take me fishing? :-)

Kearyn (age 1): Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da! (Screeching noise....) Da-da-da-da-da-da!
(I am sure she was saying something like: Daddy, I love you! Can you take me shopping? - Just a rough interpretation. :-)

From your loving wife:
J - You are the best husband and father a girl can ask for. It is so amazing to watch you each and every day with our children. You are truly raising up our boys to be Godly men and our little girl - well, she will definitely be well protected. I see your love for them each and every moment and that gives my heart so much joy. Thanks for all you do - each and every day for our family and so many others. It is such an honor to be your wife. With all my love, A.

Happy Birthday Grandad!

Yesterday was my Grandad's birthday. I have been so blessed because I have been able to spend so much time around my grandparents my whole life! In fact, from the time I was about 13 to when I left home I actually lived right across the road from them. I loved that so much and cherish those memories.

I have so many great memories of my grandparents and just their unconditional love and support. One of my favorite memories of my grandad was during my senior year in high school. He loved to watch me play any kind of sport but especially basketball. Not only did he make every single game (no matter what town it was in) he also made every single practice! Now that is true love when you sit in a stinky gym 2 hours a day every single night!

I also remember a time that we went to play in Denver and he told me that he wasn't going to be able to make it over. I am warming up for the game and all of the sudden I see him walk into the gym. He just couldn't stay home so he caught a ride with one of the other parents. Isn't that the sweetest thing ever!

His support meant so much to me then and it still means so much to me now. On Sundays Jason usually leaves by 7am to go to work and usually doesn't get home until around 9:30-10:00pm after youth group. On the Sundays after my chemo treatments my grandparents usually come out for part of the day to help me with the kids. I know it is very hard for them to see me go through this - I can see it in their eyes. Parents and grandparents think they are sneaky and can hide things from their kids/grandkids - but that only works when the kids/grandkids are young. I can see their pain but yet - they come anyway.

Happy Birthday Grandad! I love you dearly and just feel so blessed to be your grandaughter. Thank you for always being so wonderful.

Say What You Need to Say

As I was praying about what to write about today I just kept hearing these words, "Say what you need to say," over and over in my head. That is generally a pretty good indication when I need to write about something - because it doesn't ever seem to go away until I do.

So, I started to think about what that phrase means to me....then I started to remember why I started blogging so regularly when I was diagnosed to begin with. It was a scary time for me. I didn't know what my diagnosis meant. But I did know that if something happened to me - if I didn't make it - I wanted my children to know and hear my voice through the things that I wrote. I am sure I have said this a hundred times but it was (and is) so important to me that they know how much I love them, how much I love their dad, and how much I love God - even through the yucky stuff. This blog has been a huge blessing to me because I have been able to "say what I have needed to say" in each moment I was experiencing and then some...

I have always been a fairly private person. That may seem contradictory as I feel I have been pretty open and honest on here for the world to read but that is not the way I normally operate. It is so much easier for me to help others than it is to receive help myself. Needless to say, relying on others as I have had to during the last few months has been another lesson for me entirely.

My heart has changed in many ways since my diagnosis. I don't hesitate to tell a friend that I love them - something I would have felt awkward about even a year ago (except for with the youth group kids - strangely I have never had a hard time telling one of the kids that I love them - but I know that is a God thing.)

But even though my heart has been opened up some since my diagnosis - I realize I still have a long way to go. There are still words that I need to say to those that mean the most to me. There are still words that I need to say to my husband and my children because I know that I can never tell them that I love them enough. They are truly why I am going through all of this - my love for them is strong enough for me to go through the worst feelings I have ever felt in my life time and time again just so I can see my kids grow up, just so I can grow old with my husband, just so I can hold my grandkids someday. As much as I hate it - as much as I dread it with ever fiber in my body - they are the reason why in 1 week and 2 days I will go through it all over again, and then again, and then again - until I am done.

I am so grateful that God gave me my family and friends. I am so grateful that He has allowed me to love so deeply and for them to love me in return. What a lonely life it would be without them all.

So, my question to you....are you saying what you need to say? Have you told those around you how much they mean to you? You may think they know but they can always hear it again. Say what you need to say....to who you need to say it to.

I love this Man!

My hubbie is gone for a few days and I am missing him so dearly.

Don't get me wrong - I am glad that he went. He has been planning this mission trip with this very special group of teenagers for months. He is doing a discipleship program over the summer this year and he has literally been praying and planning this summer of events for so long it is so fun to finally see it here and unfolding so that these young people can continue to grow in Christ.

But I still miss him. He has always has a way of making me feel better.


 

I love you J.

Love this Song....

This is another special song for both Jason and me. My favorite part of the song is at the end when it says:

So Father, give me the strength
To be everything I'm called to be
Oh, Father, show me the way
To lead them
Won't You lead me?

To lead them with strong hands
To stand up when they can't
Don't want to leave them hungry for love,
Chasing things that I could give up

I'll show them I'm willing to fight
And give them the best of my life
So we can call this our home
Lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone

Father, lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone

I love this part because I can just see Jason praying this very same prayer asking for the strength and wisdom to lead our family as God has called him too. I am so blessed to be married to a man who seeks that Lord as he does.

It is also incredible to hear and read all of the testimonies of the couples who say God used this song to restore their marriage. It never ceases to amaze me how God works and the things He decides to use to touch someone's life. 

Anyway, give it a listen. Most of you have probably heard it but for those of you who haven't - hopefully you will enjoy it.

Blessings to all!
~Andrea

The Anniversary

Jason and I celebrated our anniversary today. All I can say is that it has been a pure joy to be married to this man. I feel so blessed each and every day that God has blessed me with the love of my life. I cannot imagine walking through what I am walking through right now without him.

When the bible called him to love me as Christ loves the church - he has done just that. Each and every day  as my husband loves me the way he does - I see Christ.

Thanks for loving me as you do Jason - through sickness and in health, until death do us part. 

Love

Being that it is Valentine's Day I have been inspired to write about.......you guessed it.....

Love

I know that some feel today was designed as a clever marketing tactic to sucker more money out of the consumer but my response to that...

Everyday should be Valentine's Day! By that I mean that you can forgo the flowers, chocolates, and fancy dinners but you should take the time and opportunity to show those in your life how much you love them each and every day. Love isn't designed by how much you spend but instead, the heart condition behind what you do to show them how much you love them.

One of my greatest acts of showing my boys that I love them costs me pennies. Literally. Every time I clean their bathroom I am showing how deep my love goes for them. I hate cleaning the bathroom and always have. Cleaning my own isn't so bad but cleaning up after other people, entirely different story. Especially when three boys ages 11, 5, and 3 years old dominate the bathroom usage. But I realize that by giving them a clean bathroom I am showing them that I love them, whether they realize it or not. It is critical that I do this with a loving heart condition and not out of a heart condition of bitterness or resentment.

I ended up looking up what "LOVE" means according to good ol' Mr. Webster and there were actually a few different definitions. These are a couple that I chose to share with you:


love
noun \ˈləv\

a (1) : strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties.

love

verb \ˈləv\

1. To hold dear: cherish
2. To thrive in. 

As you can see, there is "LOVE" as a noun and then there is "LOVE" as a verb and this really got me  thinking about what type of "love" I am showing and giving. (As you all know a noun is a person, place, or thing and then the verb is an action.) I am sincerely hoping that my "love" for my family, friends, and more importantly God, is more than just a "thing". I hope people can see the love that I have in all that I do. I  pray that I do the things I need to in order to show those that I do love just how much I love them.

One of my favorite all time scriptures:

"We love because he first loved us." 1John 4:19

Once again, we owe it all to God. When I became a wife and a mother I realized what true love really was from a human perspective. The fact that I would walk into a burning building to save my children, that I would give one of my organs if it meant saving my husband's life or one of my children's lives, that I will continually lay down my own will to honor my husband as the leader of our household; this is a love that I never realized before God gave me these gifts. To think of all those things and then realize that God loves us exponentially more is truly humbling. How does anything that I have compare to that? Thank God that He totally understands how "human" we really are and loves us anyway.

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” John 13:34-35