{Being Present}.... Rainy Days

A heavy afternoon rain that cleanses the soul.
A rainbow spreads out across the sky.
It serves as a reminder of a promise made long ago.

Gray clouds billow as far as you can see.
They try to darken your mood.
But as your eyes follow them you finally discover a break.

The light floods through.
A message from above.
A reminder of hope.

You hear the sound of rain drops dancing on the windows.
They seem so happy to have made their journey.
They create their own one-of-a-kind lullaby.

Lightening begins to dance.
It creates its own musical before your eyes.
You can't help but to wait for the next burst of light.

And as if these things weren't all enough....
There are puddles.
Lots and lots of puddles.

So thankful to "just be" today.
With the dark skies and the rain.

There is a Turtle in My Bathtub

I am serious.

There is a turtle in my bathtub right now as we speak… errr write.

Now before you turn me in for animal cruelty or give me some lecture on how irresponsible it is for me to have a turtle in my bathtub for 1000 different reasons let me explain….There is absolutely a good reason for this… or at least I think there is.

I was driving down the road and it had been one of those crazy kind of days. And I mean crazy!

I was operating on about 2 hours of sleep and with the birth of our 5th child only 4 weeks before I was a bit sleep deprived long before this day had arrived. But my baby was sick and a mama just can’t sleep when her baby is sick… or at least I can’t. So, I sat up and held him. I made him as comfortable as possible and just loved on him.

So I had taken him to the doctor that afternoon and then was on my way to the grocery store to get him some stuff the doctor told me to get for him. That is when I saw something on the road…

Yep, a turtle.

It was a narrow road and he was making his way past the white line so I immediately pulled over. Kind of like Dukes of Hazzard but in a very safe and responsible mom sort of way. Okay, so I used my blinker and merged over. But in my mind it was much more dramatic.

I don’t know much about turtles except they have shells and what I have learned from watching Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles… which did not help me much in this situation I have to say.

Did you also know that they have claws and are seriously feisty??? No laughing if you already knew that. And maybe they aren’t called claws but they sure felt like it.

So, I pick the little guy up and set him in the floor of my van. I tried to find a box but what do you know…. my van that usually has so much stuff in it that a small army could live out of it for a week was completely bare because it had just been cleaned out. And I mean completely. Hmm… well, how much harm can a turtle do, right?

Well that whole concept of turtles being slow… not true my friend. Not true. That turtle was seriously doing laps in the van and I mean laps. It even tried to climb my seatbelt which kind of freaked me out, I am not going to lie. All I kept telling myself was to not get in an accident and especially not get in a wreck because this turtle freaked me out. That would be super awkward to explain to the police officer that is for sure.

“So ma’am, what you are telling me is that you hit the light pole because the turtle that you have loose in your vehicle scared you….”

“Yes….sir….”

“And why did you have a turtle in your car?”

I obviously had no plan here other than the fact that I was saving a turtles life and that seemed like a good idea at a time.

I blame my husband too. (Yeah, he will appreciate me throwing that in here too. ;-) ) He had just told the kids about how he had found a turtle when he was a kid and kept it for a couple of days and then turned it loose again. I was thinking that the kids would like to see this cool little creature and then we could have this festive celebration of the turtle while releasing him back into the wild… a much safer wild with no narrow roads with white lines to worry about….

Finally, I did make it home. The kids were amazed and shrieked with awe and wonder… score 1 for mom. They started looking and studying it… score another one for mom. (As a homeschool mom you are always looking for ways to inspire kids to learn… even if that means pulling the van over to the side of the road and waiting as 30 cars whip past you… okay so maybe it was only 3 cars but still… and rescuing a turtle.

So, my week continued on to be crazy. A couple more days with a sick baby and even less sleep. a 7th birthday for my 3rd son. Soccer practices, volleyball games, more schoolin’… and a turtle in my bathtub. I kind of feel like that just demonstrates my life. No matter how much I try to have it together… how much I plan… how much I prepare… this totally random stuff just happens and we have to make the best of it… or not. That is the choice we have. You have to roll with the punches or let them knock  you down. I do my best to make the best of it and wring every ounce of joy out of life that I can.

Soon the turtle… no I didn’t name it… if I name something I automatically want to keep it… will be released at a pond where he (or she… I don’t know that either) can go on to do turtle things and live happily ever after (or so we hope) and I will clean my bathroom (turtles are surprisingly messy) and prepare for whatever adventure comes along next week. And I know that my kids won’t remember the day-to-day mundane tasks that we do in order to get through school and life in general but I know that they will remember things like the turtle in our bathtub…. and I hope they smile. I hope they even get a little chuckle out of it and tell their kids these funny stories too. Because this is what makes life interesting. That is what makes life fun.

So, if you managed to read this far… thanks. You will also be happy to know that the turtle was released and is on its happy little turtle way. :-)

See you next time Mr. or Mrs. Turtle. We sincerely hope you have a joyful life. And the next time you see the white line… turn around and go the other way. :-)

10,000 Prayers... And Now He is Here

It is funny how life can change for you so quickly.
One minute you are are walking along one path and you look up to discover it has turned into a completely different path.
Like when you are a mom of 4 and then suddenly you realize that you are now a mom of 5.

On 8.7.14 we welcomed our newest addition to our family.

Caysen Johnse or as we call him, "Cayse".

He is amazing.

He came by complete surprise to us. Normally I don't care for surprises but he is by far the best one I have ever received... and I find myself just staring at him in awe.

He is 3 weeks old today - which have gone by in a blink of an eye despite my best efforts to soak up every moment.

I find myself kissing his little head over and over again.
As I did this a day or two ago I thought to myself, "I have probably kissed him 1,000 since he has been born."
Then I started thinking of how many prayers I said for this little boy before he finally arrived.
At first I thought that I had probably said 1,000 prayers as well... then, being the math geek that I am, I roughly counted the number of days since that winter day when I realized that I was pregnant... no... 1,000 wouldn't even come close to the number of times I prayed for this boy.

My prayer was often very simple.

Please God, keep him safe and healthy, safe and healthy, safe and healthy. Please God.

I would say that same thing over and over again countless times each day.

I don't know exactly how many times I prayed for him certainly but I am sure God does.
I am so abundantly thankful that he heard my prayers and answered by giving us this perfect little boy.

Welcome to the world sweet boy. You are so very loved.

And I am Back...

Well, I am back...

After some time away I have decided to resume blogging on this blog. With our new addition (more about that later) I have felt the need to simplify and trying to keep up with and develop the vision I had for my other blog... well, it just isn't the season for it.

I don't want to give up writing, sharing, and documenting our beautiful life together so here we are.
And I am so excited.

So stay tuned... for what I don't know. I am just going to go with it!!!

Hope you all have had an incredible summer.

Blessings,
Andrea

I Have Moved....

A month ago I blogged that I was keeping a secret. Well, here is the "big news". I have moved my blog to my very own website.

I have wanted to expand what I am blogging about for a while and so I am finally doing it. You can find me here:

http://this-beautiful-life.com/

Remember to sign up for your email subscription on my new site so you can keep up on my latest posts!

Thanks for following me through this journey!

~Andrea

I am Keeping a Secret....

I have a secret.
No.
I'm not pregnant.
I know someone out there went there.
Yeah, you know who you are.
(Jason, you can start breathing again. :-)

Anyway....
I have a secret and I want to tell you so badly.
But I can't.
Not yet.
But soon.

I am so excited about this new adventure in my life.
It may not be that exciting to some but to me...
Well, it is a pretty big deal.
I have been planning this for over a year.
Probably longer if I really thought about it as the past 2 years have been kind of a blur.

But, I just wanted to plant this little seed...
And because I am just so excited... I wanted to share my excitement.
Even though I can't tell you what it is.
Yet.
:-)

So, keep checking back.
Oh, my blog has been banned from Facebook again.
For the SECOND time.

Evidently, my blog posts are just too hard core for the average person on Facebook to take.
I know, I know.
I need to tone it down.
But what can you do...

Anyway, if you want to keep up...
and if you were following my blog through Facebook...
you will have to pick a different method.

You can follow by email - look to the right over there (but don't forget to confirm - lots of people enter their email address and then don't confirm so it just sits there inactivated. How sad. :-(
-or- you can hit the little follow button. :-)

Anywhooo.......
Happy Wednesday!

Oh, because I feel kind of bad about not telling you my secret yet, I posted this super cute photo of my boy to enjoy. Love this little man! This is a sneak peek of my next post. :-)

Why I Believe in God - A Miracle

Periodically I am asked why I believe it God.
Sometimes this question comes from people that are searching for their own beliefs.
Sometimes this questions comes from people who are steadfast in their belief that there is no God.
Regardless of who is asking the question, I always have the same answer.

How can I not?

For what God has done in my life there is no way that I cannot believe in Him.
And that is just me personally.
That does not even come close to describing what I have seen Him do in other lives.

Sure I face criticism for my beliefs.
I had someone tell me that it was natural for me to believe what I do when I have gone through something like I have (meaning the cancer) because it is the human tendency to try to cling to something that could possibly give me the outcome that I desired.
Um... okay...
One important note though - I believed in God before I was diagnosed too....

Anyway, I am not here to debate my belief.
People are entitled to their beliefs just as I am entitled to mine.
But I do want to share one of the many many ways I have seen God in my life.

Jason and I have actually had people ask us, even our Christian friends, how we can believe in Jesus after what we have gone through... the cancer... the multiple miscarriages... and other things that we won't get into.

Again, our answer... how can we not?

One way I saw God's provisions... God's miracle... was actually through my cancer.

What some of you may not know is that I found my first cancer symptom when my daughter was just 2 weeks old.
It was not there before and then suddenly the day she was 2 weeks old I found what I would later learn was a tumor in my neck.

Why is this a miracle?
Some people may say it is the opposite....

Because I didn't find that tumor during my pregnancy.
Can you even fathom the timing of it all?
I STILL struggle with the magnitude of how powerful this is in my life.

I am pregnant with my daughter.
A pregnancy that I white knuckled the entire time because of the loss of our son the year before...
But I am able to go through my entire pregnancy with the cancer growing in my body and still deliver this healthy baby girl.
Then 2 weeks later I find my first cancer symptom.

I see women all of the time that have been diagnosed with cancer during their pregnancies and then have to make those critical decisions.
I was actually there once myself but that is a story for another blog post.
But I cannot imagine having to make those decisions being pregnant with her after we had endured such a loss just one year, one month, and ten days before she was born.
I know God knew that I could not take that.
And he spared me from it.

I am also grateful that he allowed me to carry her full-term and that she was perfectly healthy despite the cancer growing inside me at the very same time.
A miracle.
My miracle.
One of many.

But God is not a God of just miracles.
He is a God of the everyday things.
Each day I walk it out with Him and each day I know how lost I would be without Him.
And I am grateful.
Grateful for it all.

I know that this may not seem like a big deal to some but it is a huge deal to me.
And to my last breath on this earth I will rejoice for the gifts that He has given me.
2 weeks.
He gave me 2 weeks.
And it made all the difference for this mamma.
And one very special baby girl.