Today marked the first day of chemo. When Jason dropped me off I had a flashback to when my mom use to drop me off for the first day of school. That same nervous feeling but having to be a big girl and make the walk by yourself into the building. Jason would have gone with me but we were trying to get all of the kids situated where they need to be. Something the Gressman household is not use to as they are with me 90% of the time.
I was the first one in the office and so it gave me some ample time to read my bible. God just really spoke to me, reassured me that I was on the right path and showed me his mercy and love for the millionth time. You just have to love him. I will share more on His revelation to me later.
I went back to the chemo room and was told that it was going to take around 4 hours! I had no idea it would take that long. It then stretched into 6 hours. I had no idea being a patient would be a full time job!
The med's that they gave me did make me sleepy so I was able to take a couple of naps during that time. I cannot remember the last time I just sat in one spot and did nothing for that many hours.
I did meet a lovely lady today. She has Hodgkin's as well, is just slightly ahead of me in her staging, and a month ahead of me in treatments. Such a gift from God she was today. I was able to ask her so many questions. My treatment is very different than someone who has breast cancer or other types of cancer so it was just so nice to talk with someone who has what I have.
How I am Feeling:
Not going to lie to you, I am tired. Jason is home and is taking great care of me. I am excited to get my "helping hands" in place. I have received so many offers of help it has just been amazing. I am actually excited to have some of my friends over to just visit with.
Please pray that the chemo does what it is suppose to do and that not too many of my good cells are damaged in the process.
Thank you all for reading! I hope this finds you all happy and healthy.
Love you all!
Andrea
Follow Me...
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Day 7: Fatigue
Today I am tired. I think the roller coaster of emotion has just exhausted me. I had another test today given by a very animated man who has definitley found a way to make the most of his job. :-)
I enjoyed a quiet lunch with my husband, some more appointments, and then home.
My Sadness:
Today is the last day I will be able to nurse Kearyn. The chemo will affect my breast milk from tomorrow on and so she will be on a bottle as of tomorrow. I know it is a small price to pay for being able to enjoy her first birthday, her first steps, being here to teach her to read, watching her graduate from high school, and someday watching her daddy walk her down the aisle but it does pull at my heartstrings.
As any breastfeeding mother knows, it is more than just feeding time. It is such a bonding moment. Something between just my baby girl and me. But like I said, trading weaning her a few months early is worth the chance to experience her life with her. I will dry my mommy tears and hold her like I have never held her before, so thankful that he did give me 8 months and 8 days to nurse my baby girl.
I enjoyed a quiet lunch with my husband, some more appointments, and then home.
My Sadness:
Today is the last day I will be able to nurse Kearyn. The chemo will affect my breast milk from tomorrow on and so she will be on a bottle as of tomorrow. I know it is a small price to pay for being able to enjoy her first birthday, her first steps, being here to teach her to read, watching her graduate from high school, and someday watching her daddy walk her down the aisle but it does pull at my heartstrings.
As any breastfeeding mother knows, it is more than just feeding time. It is such a bonding moment. Something between just my baby girl and me. But like I said, trading weaning her a few months early is worth the chance to experience her life with her. I will dry my mommy tears and hold her like I have never held her before, so thankful that he did give me 8 months and 8 days to nurse my baby girl.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
A Personal Request
Hello Again!
I just feel like I have so much information right now, hence, the 3rd post of the night!
I do have a personal request to each and every one of you. While I am going through chemo I would really like a series of devotionals to keep my focus on The Cross and not what I am going through. I would like devotionals for the day of my chemo and the tough days after. I am requesting that each of you who read this send me a devotional, or two, or three, however many you want to send! You can email them to me at andreagressman@gmail.com for now. Hopefully in the future I will have someone here locally that can be "in charge" of these for me, just getting them and printing them out for me for my treatment days but for now you can email them to me.
This can be anything from a scripture or two that God really used to speak to you and then a couple of thoughts on how He spoke to you, etc. or if you are like me, you can write pages and pages, I don't care. It would just bless me so much if you could do this for me. Also, young writer's are WELCOME! If you have a child that has been praying for our family and they would like to put something together for me, I would love to read that as well.
If you don't even know me, I don't care. We know the same God and He loves us both.
If you live in another town, state, or country - this is a way you can bless me greatly.
I have an estimated 4-6 months of treatments every two weeks. I know I will need a lot of God's word to keep me going during this time. So, tell your moms, grandmas, aunts, friends.... I would love to hear from them all!
If you email it to me just put "Devotional" in the subject line and that way I will know to save it for my "tough" days.
If you need to drop it off or mail it, you can always drop it by or mail it to Grace Community Church and they will get it to me.
Thank you all from the bottom of my heart for blessing me in this way. It means so much to me.
~Andrea
I just feel like I have so much information right now, hence, the 3rd post of the night!
I do have a personal request to each and every one of you. While I am going through chemo I would really like a series of devotionals to keep my focus on The Cross and not what I am going through. I would like devotionals for the day of my chemo and the tough days after. I am requesting that each of you who read this send me a devotional, or two, or three, however many you want to send! You can email them to me at andreagressman@gmail.com for now. Hopefully in the future I will have someone here locally that can be "in charge" of these for me, just getting them and printing them out for me for my treatment days but for now you can email them to me.
This can be anything from a scripture or two that God really used to speak to you and then a couple of thoughts on how He spoke to you, etc. or if you are like me, you can write pages and pages, I don't care. It would just bless me so much if you could do this for me. Also, young writer's are WELCOME! If you have a child that has been praying for our family and they would like to put something together for me, I would love to read that as well.
If you don't even know me, I don't care. We know the same God and He loves us both.
If you live in another town, state, or country - this is a way you can bless me greatly.
I have an estimated 4-6 months of treatments every two weeks. I know I will need a lot of God's word to keep me going during this time. So, tell your moms, grandmas, aunts, friends.... I would love to hear from them all!
If you email it to me just put "Devotional" in the subject line and that way I will know to save it for my "tough" days.
If you need to drop it off or mail it, you can always drop it by or mail it to Grace Community Church and they will get it to me.
Thank you all from the bottom of my heart for blessing me in this way. It means so much to me.
~Andrea
How Can You Help?
I have been getting so many offers of help - thank you! I am just not sure what I need help with just yet. I am sure I will be finding out soon.
My dear friend Georgia has offered to help coordinate a lot of this for me. In Georgia-fashion, highly organized and efficient, she has set up a blog just for this featuring a calendar of events and needs for our family.
Here is the link to that blog.
http://www.jchelpinghands.blogspot.com/
You can get in contact with Georgia at georgiamcgarry@gmail.com
Thank you all again. We are so blessed!
My dear friend Georgia has offered to help coordinate a lot of this for me. In Georgia-fashion, highly organized and efficient, she has set up a blog just for this featuring a calendar of events and needs for our family.
Here is the link to that blog.
http://www.jchelpinghands.blogspot.com/
You can get in contact with Georgia at georgiamcgarry@gmail.com
Thank you all again. We are so blessed!
Days 5 & 6: The Whirlwind
There has been so much going on that I am combining some posts just so I can get them on here.
Day 5: Sunday, February 6, 2011
Today Jason and I pretty much just laid low. It was really nice and God continued to provide me with an intense peace for the future. There were a couple of times that doubt tried to creep in. I think my number one negative thought today - what if I am being overly optimistic? What if I am not being realistic? I couldn't help but to think about other times in my life when I was accused of this. I remembered when my oldest son was born, I had people calling me telling me they were sorry that he wasn't going to live, however, I just had a certainty that only God could provide that he was going to be okay. He will be 11 1/2 in 3 days. But none the less, the doubt still tries to creep in.
The highlight of my day - my baby girl said "Mama" for the first time, which was also her first word. This was like a present from God. I just rejoiced in hearing her little voice. God is so good and knows just what I need to keep pressing on.
Day 6: Monday, February 7, 2011
I was doing really well this morning until the doctor's office called and asked me to come in an hour early. I lost it. I just squeezed my baby girl so tight and cried. I cannot imagine leaving her when she is so little and my mind was just thinking the worst. I started praying - calling out to the Lord. This is when the following conversation took place in my head.
Voice in head: Andrea! Get a hold of yourself.
(Andrea, still crying ignoring voice.)
Voice in head: Seriously, Andrea! How would one hour possibly make a difference in this situation?
(Andrea's crying slowing as she ponders what voice in head is saying.)
Voice in head: Think about it. They didn't say "come right down, you have to get here now, or we need to see you urgently." They just moved your appointment up ONE HOUR! It must be a scheduling conflict.
(Andrea sniffling.) Okay fine!
Or something like that anyway. :-) Seems so silly to think about now.
Upon getting to the doctor's office I ran into a lovely lady from my church who was recently diagnosed with breast cancer and is on her second treatment. It was so encouraging to see her. Although I have never gotten to know her well personally, I feel like we already have a bond there that I would have never understood before.
We received the diagnosis and it just went so well. I know it seems crazy to be rejoicing when you have just received the news that you have cancer but that is what I am doing. I just praise the Lord so much for this wonderful prognosis. I know I am going to be okay. The staff was just so amazed at how quickly I was diagnosed. The nurse called it a phenomenon, I call it a miracle. ;-)
They did give me a pile of homework. I feel like I am trying to study for a semester final, although, in perspective I don't feel like any of my semester finals were ever this important. I am trying to make sure I do everything "just right" in order to give my body what it needs to do the very best that it can with the chemo. Thank you Lord for Jason. As I read and read he is also studying with me and retaining far more than I am I think. He takes care of me so well.
So, I have a few more tests to get done this week and Wednesday I start on chemo. I have no idea what to expect or when to expect it. I am solely relying on the Lord.
My heart cannot express how much all of your prayers have meant to me. Thank you so much. I love you all.
~Andrea
Day 5: Sunday, February 6, 2011
Today Jason and I pretty much just laid low. It was really nice and God continued to provide me with an intense peace for the future. There were a couple of times that doubt tried to creep in. I think my number one negative thought today - what if I am being overly optimistic? What if I am not being realistic? I couldn't help but to think about other times in my life when I was accused of this. I remembered when my oldest son was born, I had people calling me telling me they were sorry that he wasn't going to live, however, I just had a certainty that only God could provide that he was going to be okay. He will be 11 1/2 in 3 days. But none the less, the doubt still tries to creep in.
The highlight of my day - my baby girl said "Mama" for the first time, which was also her first word. This was like a present from God. I just rejoiced in hearing her little voice. God is so good and knows just what I need to keep pressing on.
Day 6: Monday, February 7, 2011
I was doing really well this morning until the doctor's office called and asked me to come in an hour early. I lost it. I just squeezed my baby girl so tight and cried. I cannot imagine leaving her when she is so little and my mind was just thinking the worst. I started praying - calling out to the Lord. This is when the following conversation took place in my head.
Voice in head: Andrea! Get a hold of yourself.
(Andrea, still crying ignoring voice.)
Voice in head: Seriously, Andrea! How would one hour possibly make a difference in this situation?
(Andrea's crying slowing as she ponders what voice in head is saying.)
Voice in head: Think about it. They didn't say "come right down, you have to get here now, or we need to see you urgently." They just moved your appointment up ONE HOUR! It must be a scheduling conflict.
(Andrea sniffling.) Okay fine!
Or something like that anyway. :-) Seems so silly to think about now.
Upon getting to the doctor's office I ran into a lovely lady from my church who was recently diagnosed with breast cancer and is on her second treatment. It was so encouraging to see her. Although I have never gotten to know her well personally, I feel like we already have a bond there that I would have never understood before.
We received the diagnosis and it just went so well. I know it seems crazy to be rejoicing when you have just received the news that you have cancer but that is what I am doing. I just praise the Lord so much for this wonderful prognosis. I know I am going to be okay. The staff was just so amazed at how quickly I was diagnosed. The nurse called it a phenomenon, I call it a miracle. ;-)
They did give me a pile of homework. I feel like I am trying to study for a semester final, although, in perspective I don't feel like any of my semester finals were ever this important. I am trying to make sure I do everything "just right" in order to give my body what it needs to do the very best that it can with the chemo. Thank you Lord for Jason. As I read and read he is also studying with me and retaining far more than I am I think. He takes care of me so well.
So, I have a few more tests to get done this week and Wednesday I start on chemo. I have no idea what to expect or when to expect it. I am solely relying on the Lord.
My heart cannot express how much all of your prayers have meant to me. Thank you so much. I love you all.
~Andrea
Monday, February 7, 2011
Come Rejoice With Me!!!
Hello Friends & Family,
I have planned a potluck for this Saturday so that I can see all of my friends and family before I get to far down the chemo path.
Please feel free to join me to just have some wonderful time of fellowship and praise the Lord together.
Here is the info:
Saturday, February 12, 2011
12pm - ?
Grace Kids Building @ Grace Community Church in Montrose
Potluck: bring a main dish and a side if you can
If you don't have time to eat that is okay too. Just stop by, I would love to see you!
Hope to see you there!
Love you all!
~Andrea
I have planned a potluck for this Saturday so that I can see all of my friends and family before I get to far down the chemo path.
Please feel free to join me to just have some wonderful time of fellowship and praise the Lord together.
Here is the info:
Saturday, February 12, 2011
12pm - ?
Grace Kids Building @ Grace Community Church in Montrose
Potluck: bring a main dish and a side if you can
If you don't have time to eat that is okay too. Just stop by, I would love to see you!
Hope to see you there!
Love you all!
~Andrea
Update!
Dear Family & Friends,
We are truly rejoicing in the Lord today. My diagnosis was confirmed as Hodgkin's Lymphoma, also known as Hodgkin's Disease. I am at a Stage 1b. This is such a good thing and we are overjoyed! My friend said it best today, "It is the best case scenario in a worse case situation."
I will start my chemo on Wednesday and will be having it every two weeks. The doctor estimates that it will take 4-6 months in order to completely get rid of it. He estimates an 85-90% curability rate. It has not traveled to any of my other organs and my bone marrow test was negative.
This is truly a time to praise the Lord and truly rejoice. I hope you all rejoice with me as the Lord is so good and faithful with his everlasting love.
Thank you all for your love, support, encouragement, and prayers! I love you all!
~Andrea
We are truly rejoicing in the Lord today. My diagnosis was confirmed as Hodgkin's Lymphoma, also known as Hodgkin's Disease. I am at a Stage 1b. This is such a good thing and we are overjoyed! My friend said it best today, "It is the best case scenario in a worse case situation."
I will start my chemo on Wednesday and will be having it every two weeks. The doctor estimates that it will take 4-6 months in order to completely get rid of it. He estimates an 85-90% curability rate. It has not traveled to any of my other organs and my bone marrow test was negative.
This is truly a time to praise the Lord and truly rejoice. I hope you all rejoice with me as the Lord is so good and faithful with his everlasting love.
Thank you all for your love, support, encouragement, and prayers! I love you all!
~Andrea
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